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Post by Valkyrja on May 13, 2008 22:48:11 GMT -5
Hello! it was a long time since my last post.
I don't know if some one has passed what I facing right now:
I am in one of those stages where I don't have "devotee desires." It is not the first time that happens to me... but now is different.
Since I discovered this site and I put name to my "fancy", I feel more real, less lost.
The problem is that not only I don't feel "devotee desires" but I don't feel desires of absolutely anything. I feel completely numb. For this "reluctance", I find very difficult to explain what I am feeling at thismoment.
if you felt this, what did you do?... this sensation of "limbo" is very frustrating.
Thank you
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Post by Ciao Bella on May 14, 2008 3:28:32 GMT -5
I empathize with you, although I have never been through what you're feeling right now. All I can think of is maybe you just need to give it time, and not really force the issue of being a "devotee". At some point, you will probably see more clearly about this "passion" of yours, be it something you will feel encouraged to pursue or something that is just a fleeting fancy once you've already labeled it.
As far as psychology goes (mind you I'm far from being a psychologist) there are some people who keep striving for a certain goal, and once they've reached the goal, then all passion fizzles out. I'm thinking along the same lines for you. When you didn't know what this "thing" was, you were passionate about finding out more about it. Once you've "discovered" or "labeled" it, then perhaps you've just decided (subconsciously) to step back from it because you've already "reached the goal" so to speak. I am guilty of the same line of thinking, but fortunately, it's never been about my devoteeism.
Not sure if I actually answered your question, but I hope this insight helped a bit.
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Post by laurasweetou on May 15, 2008 19:09:44 GMT -5
I'm putting this in this thread, but I'm not sure if it's where it belongs. I'm not at all questioning my devness, but I am wondering if maybe it's more of a "curse" than a "blessing(?)". I was starting a relationship with a TERRIFIC wheeler the last few weeks and he just blows me off out of no where. He's a member of the board, so maybe he'll read this and know how hurt I am. Maybe I'll just be a dev, because I don't see it as a choice, but fall for no more wheelers because all I've ended up with is a pile of hurt.
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Post by irishclaire on May 16, 2008 9:23:22 GMT -5
laura, i'm sorry you were hurt but at the end of the day, ALL men have the ability to hurt you! sounds horrible, but it's so true. i know i'm new here, but if ya need a chat i'm all ears  as for a "lack of desire", right now mine is going mad! maybe it's because i'm new to the boards and am finally "part" of something, but my desire has been increased in a big way. long may it continue. |
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Post by BA on May 16, 2008 15:58:52 GMT -5
Valkyr, I have found I also go through very dry periods when nothing at all seems to get me aroused. Are you feeling genrally depressed or very stressed lately? Both of those things can turn the libido right off.
Like the others have said, the drive is not always a consistent thing and can vary in intensity just as it would if you were not a dev. Please stay with us, if you can, and give yourself some slack.
Laura - my sweet dear. You are a very sensitive, kind and beautiful person inside and out. The right person will happen along for you. You need to focus on choosing people who are truly ready to have a relationship. The internet is a place where people can say a great deal of stuff to eachother in a relative "safe zone", but when it comes to the "let's meet" reality aspect lots of people bolt.
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Post by Valkyrja on May 18, 2008 23:06:26 GMT -5
You are right!... I am facing a period of a lot of depressions. I don't have time at all for myself. I feel a terrible burden, it is as if my life weighed tons. But that's the modern life, the problems and the stress. Thank you, because I had not associated it. It's surely owes to that my total lack of desire.
Lau: I'm sorry to hear about your bad experience. Many men are afraid to fall in love. Maybe that happened to him, he was afraid. Regrettably he forgot that there were other feelings involved part of the own ones. Get well, Laura. May your heart ache heals soon.
Thanks to all for the answers.
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Post by Valkyrja on Aug 26, 2008 22:59:20 GMT -5
Well, girls... Here I am again, after this long time!!
Let me told you that, besides health problems, I've been sunk in a deep depression. Everything indicates that I've touched bottom and I'm beginning to get to the surface. It was too dark! . I suppose my doctor is right and the fibromyalgia has a lot to do with my current state.
At least, I have discovered that I didn't have desires for absolutely nothing; nothing satisfied me, nothing filled me up. I never thought it was going to be so hard for me to accept the Fibro. Now I have recaptured my "artistic therapy"... I have painted, transformed and almost drawn all my house!!, LOL
In the darkest moment of my depression, I was happened to write a letter to my couple to tell him how I feel and how much it hurts... that was a wonderful catharsis!!... I had forgotten how goog it feels to write!! 13 years ago I'd abandoned the writing...
Now, I have to try to adapt my life to the fibro and see how to go on (the pain is the worst part). But I believe that I am improving, slowly and step by step.
Thank you for been here ... in the moments that I could,I read the posts and they helped me very much.
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Post by Claire on Aug 28, 2008 6:19:41 GMT -5
Hey Valkyr. Welcome back! Depression SUCKS (and that is such and understatement!). I'm so sorry you're going through that. I have been there. The worst part is the lack of interest in anything at all. I'm glad to hear you're on the upswing.
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Post by Valkyrja on Aug 30, 2008 21:03:07 GMT -5
Thanks, Claire. I was in a very dark and deep place!!... It was difficult and hard but, I'm "climbing"
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Post by dolly on Sept 13, 2008 0:26:33 GMT -5
hey valkyr.
glad to have you back and happy that you are feeling a bit more like yourself again.
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Post by dionisia on Sept 22, 2008 17:52:33 GMT -5
Hola Valkyr, me dio mucha pena leer que no te has sentido tan bien ultimamente, que mala onda, espero que ya estes saliendo de eso. La fibromalgia es una condicion tratable? perdona que no estoy muy enterada al respecto. De cualquier manera te deseo mucha suerte chica. Cuidate bien. About the lack of desire stage...it hasnt happend to me yet....right now i am crazy busy, away from my baby and not knowing when am i gonna have a week and the $$ for us to get together...but jeezz i am crazy horny !!  |
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