|  Author | Topic: Sexual Relief for the Disabled (Read 6,082 times) |
E
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|  | Re: Sexual Relief for the Disabled
« Reply #30 on Feb 22, 2009, 9:56pm » | |
Feb 22, 2009, 7:49pm, genuinejoe76 wrote:| Let me get this straight... you're a Dev, but you don't want to get involved with someone who is desperate for sex? I'm just guessing, but you may be hard-pressed to find a wheeler who is not desperate. Those wheelers who say they are not desperate are either gettin' some on a regular basis or are lying. |
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I'm a wheeler. I'm certainly not desperate. I don't think the chicks I hang out with would enjoy my company if I was.
Feb 22, 2009, 7:49pm, genuinejoe76 wrote:| Also, you have any no idea what being desperate is. To truly find out, you have to have a feeling in your entire body, have no prospects for sexual encounters, and be physically unable to pleasure yourself. To say that you would reject someone because they are desperate is a bit offensive because you do not know what it's like to live in their shoes. |
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You can reject someone for any reason you choose. It's not offensive. It's reality. If Claire couldn't shag a desperate guy, that's up to her, regardless of her understanding of desperation. (And, by the way, I have a feeling that Claire knows a lot more about being desperate than you might realize.) I have no idea what it's like to be morbidly obese, but I can tell you I may reject someone because they are. Likewise, I have no idea what it's like to be really, really stupid, but again, I have rejected some morons in my day.
Wheelers who act desperate and pathetic make the rest of us look bad. In fact, they make us look so bad, so pathetic, so infantile, that governments are prompted to create programs so that we might get laid. How much does a program like that turn women AWAY from seeing gimps as viable partners? Seriously.
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Hungry. Last night. No way.
I was gonna be left hungry. Then your daddy caught me sneakin' out your bed.
It's just a game I play. It's just I roll that way. Don't think, sweet baby, I'm messin' with your head.
I'm a smooth rider baby
You know I just keep movin' on...
— Dave Matthews Band
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stephen
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| | Re: Sexual Relief for the Disabled
« Reply #31 on Feb 22, 2009, 10:44pm » | |
To the point of this being funded by tax money: Probably not a good idea to use tax money to fund it, but if people want to fund it privately then that is fine.
Personaly I could not enjoy being with a woman if I had pay her. I like for a woman to spend time with me because she has fun and enjoys my company. I would feel too guilty if a woman did not like me and was only with me because she was being paid. I would feel like I had not properly earned the right to enjoy her companionship.
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phil
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| | Re: Sexual Relief for the Disabled
« Reply #32 on Feb 23, 2009, 2:44pm » | |
I don't see any problem with this program offered. We are all humans, disabled or not, and we all have an intrinsic human want/need for closeness. Part of that closeness means that we all want/need to feel desired, loved, touched. Some of that is sexual in nature, some is not.
"No man is an island." That's very true. We are social animals that have worked together from our earliest ancestors living in small groups up to today. Call it tribes, villages, neighborhoods, towns or cities; being around each other is a large part of what makes us human. And it's partly due to this very trait that we survived and have become the most successful species on the planet. To deny this most primal need about ourselves is to deny who we are and how we got to where we are today. In fact, our need to belong with others is so strong that it sets up one of the greatest punishments we humans have used over the eons; single out and banish or isolate people from contact with other humans. We still use that tactic in our prisons today as a form of punishment and is some extreme cases, torture.
It's no secret that disabled people, for the most part, are often isolated away and often aren't seen as desirable or sexual by the AB majority. Many disabled people are shut in with little or no meaningful contact with the outside world. This program is simply offering a neglected segment of our society a chance to feel and feed a part of ourselves that often is unfulfilled. It may not be a program for everyone, based on their own opinion or even religious beliefs. But I think that the program has merit and should be there in place, and it's their choice (to use it) to make for themselves.
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genuinejoe76
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| | Re: Sexual Relief for the Disabled
« Reply #33 on Feb 23, 2009, 7:11pm » | |
Feb 22, 2009, 9:56pm, E wrote:
Wheelers who act desperate and pathetic make the rest of us look bad. In fact, they make us look so bad, so pathetic, so infantile, that governments are prompted to create programs so that we might get laid. How much does a program like that turn women AWAY from seeing gimps as viable partners? Seriously. |
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So, in other words, a disabled individual who visits a sexual assistant to receive some level of sexual relief is defined as desperate and pathetic. Seriously? Is that what you're saying? If that is the case, are people who masturbate for sexual relief also desperate and pathetic? Are you going to reject someone as a potential love interest just because they masturbate for sexual relief? Seriously!
Society in general turns women away from seeing disabled individuals as viable partners. In fact, this type of program would help to open up a dialogue about this topic with the AB world. Only through this type of dialogue would you be able to start changing the preconceived notions of society. I doubt if many AB women would care either way if a disabled individual participated in this type of program because their preconceived notions tell them that a disabled man isn't a viable partners anyway.
P.S. You shouldn't be so quick to reject morbidly obese and dumb people. They just might end up being skinnier or smarter than you are.
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devogirl
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| | Re: Sexual Relief for the Disabled
« Reply #34 on Feb 23, 2009, 8:05pm » | |
Wow, this sure got you all talking! Very interesting, thoughtful discussion.
Maybe I interpreted the article differently, but I thought this program was only for people who need care for all their physical needs. Of course if you are living wholly or mostly independently, it's a different story. But I do think that severely disabled people do have a right to sexual release, and those that can't masturbate should have access to some other option. What Stephen said earlier about feeling like a "thing" was very moving, and I think that's a real problem if you're only ever touched in a clinical way.
I also can't feel too bad for the overweight gamer. Merely being fat does not mean you can't find someone. Didn't the fattest man in the world just get married? And if our hypothetical gamer is so socially awkward that he drives the girls away, well, he has the option to change his ways. And at least he can masturbate in the privacy of his room. It's the lack of ability or privacy to self-pleasure that separates him from someone who genuinely needs this service, IMHO.
Finally, it seems that many of you object to the fact that it's a state-sponsored program. Maybe it would be ok if it was privately funded? Is the real objection here the American aversion to state services?
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| | Re: Sexual Relief for the Disabled
« Reply #35 on Feb 23, 2009, 8:43pm » | |
Point well taken, Devgrl. But maybe we should have a state sponsored sex program for everyone, disabled or not!! The aspects of a good sex life is mentally healthy, builds self-esteem and releases stress. Might cure a lot of probs out here!! lol Actually, I'm being sarcastic, but I do believe prostitution should be legal....those disabled dudes could maybe get a voucher, or 20% off coupon maybe. 
On the point of being 'desperate', plenty of AB guys act desperate as hell, giving us ALL a bad name. RIGHT??? I'm sure us chairdudes are considered more desperate than the average desperado, but being desperate is a state of mind - not how much u been gettin lately.
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lygermark
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| | Re: Sexual Relief for the Disabled
« Reply #36 on Feb 24, 2009, 10:30am » | |
I've dabbled in getting services for myself before and I will again in the future. People say that I have more of a social life than most.. I have had girlfriends in the past but right now I'm mainly looking to get laid. That program is a great idea in my opinion because we got services for everything except that and it is one of the most important thing...
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E
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| | Re: Sexual Relief for the Disabled
« Reply #37 on Feb 24, 2009, 2:19pm » | |
Feb 24, 2009, 10:30am, lygermark wrote:| I've dabbled in getting services for myself before and I will again in the future. People say that I have more of a social life than most.. I have had girlfriends in the past but right now I'm mainly looking to get laid. That program is a great idea in my opinion because we got services for everything except that and it is one of the most important thing... |
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I may be wrong, but I believe that any woman who reads that you've had "services" before immediately rules you out as a potential partner... forever.
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Hungry. Last night. No way.
I was gonna be left hungry. Then your daddy caught me sneakin' out your bed.
It's just a game I play. It's just I roll that way. Don't think, sweet baby, I'm messin' with your head.
I'm a smooth rider baby
You know I just keep movin' on...
— Dave Matthews Band
Smooth Rider |
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lygermark
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| | Re: Sexual Relief for the Disabled
« Reply #38 on Feb 24, 2009, 3:56pm » | |
that is sad then.. because you could get a girl drunk one night and get the same result... but that isn't as frowned than actually paying for it directly.
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jasononwheels
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| | Re: Sexual Relief for the Disabled
« Reply #39 on Feb 24, 2009, 6:21pm » | |
Maybe I'm old fashioned. Whatever happened to going out, putting your best foot forward, and using a bit of charm?
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| | Re: Sexual Relief for the Disabled
« Reply #40 on Feb 24, 2009, 6:29pm » | |
I can't even imagine this kinda program being proposed here in USA. HOLY LOVETOY!! People would hit the ceiling, and it would be very uncomfortable for me to even debate it in public. There's so many other important health issues over here, like getting young SCIs out of nursing homes, or home care PCAs, or housing or other services. I can just hear the proposal for sex for us quads, sheeesh.
I still think the whole program is patronizing, but I understand the need for sexual affection, or even closeness. The strip bars make a fortune every weekend with many dudes seeking just that. Hell, I did it years ago...but I wouldn't want the state to see me as such an 'undesirable' that they have to fund girls to make me feel accepted, loved, attractive, touchable. Nope, I'll stay alone first!! Now, if Devogirl wants to give me a lapdance for free, I'm not refusing!!!! lol Hell, I'll tip her...lol
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devogirl
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| | Re: Sexual Relief for the Disabled
« Reply #41 on Feb 24, 2009, 7:29pm » | |
Haha, thanks Tony, but Devogirl's favors are not for sale.
Although that makes me think, if there were such a program here, would devotees be allowed to become licensed sex therapists? Or would it be considered unethical?
Also, I was looking at Mike Philips' blog, and he's making me rethink my earlier stance. He can't move, sit up, talk, or even breathe on his own, but he did have an AB girlfriend for quite a while. It seems like they broke up recently, but he still seems to have a very active social life. Here's a photo he posted of him with his gf:
http://www.lithiumcreations.com/random-thought/2008/04/gorgeous/
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sidney
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| | Re: Sexual Relief for the Disabled
« Reply #42 on Feb 25, 2009, 12:32am » | |
Wow! That is one powerful picture... amazing...
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Claire
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| | Re: Sexual Relief for the Disabled
« Reply #43 on Feb 25, 2009, 6:49am » | |
I agree, that's a really amazing photograph. Thanks for posting that, devogirl.
Also I see you got his attention and he just joined here! Welcome, Michael. 
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E
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| | Re: Sexual Relief for the Disabled
« Reply #44 on Feb 25, 2009, 9:51am » | |
Feb 23, 2009, 7:11pm, genuinejoe76 wrote:
Feb 22, 2009, 9:56pm, E wrote:
Wheelers who act desperate and pathetic make the rest of us look bad. In fact, they make us look so bad, so pathetic, so infantile, that governments are prompted to create programs so that we might get laid. How much does a program like that turn women AWAY from seeing gimps as viable partners? Seriously. |
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So, in other words, a disabled individual who visits a sexual assistant to receive some level of sexual relief is defined as desperate and pathetic. Seriously? Is that what you're saying? If that is the case, are people who masturbate for sexual relief also desperate and pathetic? Are you going to reject someone as a potential love interest just because they masturbate for sexual relief? Seriously!
Society in general turns women away from seeing disabled individuals as viable partners. In fact, this type of program would help to open up a dialogue about this topic with the AB world. Only through this type of dialogue would you be able to start changing the preconceived notions of society. I doubt if many AB women would care either way if a disabled individual participated in this type of program because their preconceived notions tell them that a disabled man isn't a viable partners anyway.
P.S. You shouldn't be so quick to reject morbidly obese and dumb people. They just might end up being skinnier or smarter than you are. |
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Joe, I glanced over your post somehow. Didn't mean to neglect you. Sorry about that.
I'm not saying you're desperate, you are. Take a look:
Feb 22, 2009, 7:49pm, genuinejoe76 wrote:Let me get this straight... you're a Dev, but you don't want to get involved with someone who is desperate for sex? I'm just guessing, but you may be hard-pressed to find a wheeler who is not desperate. Those wheelers who say they are not desperate are either gettin' some on a regular basis or are lying.
Also, you have any no idea what being desperate is. To truly find out, you have to have a feeling in your entire body, have no prospects for sexual encounters, and be physically unable to pleasure yourself. To say that you would reject someone because they are desperate is a bit offensive because you do not know what it's like to live in their shoes. |
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I'd have never called you desperate if you didn't say you were. And maybe "pathetic" is a harsh word, but complaining about how desperate you are and how someone has no idea how bad it is sounds like a pity party guilt trip begging for sympathy and, quite honestly, that type of behavior is pathetic.
Feb 23, 2009, 7:11pm, genuinejoe76 wrote:| I doubt if many AB women would care either way if a disabled individual participated in this type of program because their preconceived notions tell them that a disabled man isn't a viable partners anyway. |
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I think this might be the heart of my issue. You're assuming most AB women don't see a gimp as a viable partner, so who cares? Doesn't that sound just a bit... pathetic? Why look nice? No one wants me, anyway. Why not get government sponsored sex? I'm never getting a girlfriend on my own. That's sad. And I don't think it's true. You are a viable partner. I'm not some ridiculous idealist, but in all honesty, I do think anyone with your clear intelligence can find someone with the proper attitude. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's hopeless. But I don't think so and my life and the lives of countless other cripples proves me right.
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Hungry. Last night. No way.
I was gonna be left hungry. Then your daddy caught me sneakin' out your bed.
It's just a game I play. It's just I roll that way. Don't think, sweet baby, I'm messin' with your head.
I'm a smooth rider baby
You know I just keep movin' on...
— Dave Matthews Band
Smooth Rider |
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