robbieatl
New Member
Posts: 11
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled
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Post by robbieatl on Oct 25, 2023 20:48:39 GMT -5
Good evening everyone!
I'm new here and thought I'd dive in the community with a rather blunt question.
For both PWDs and Devs: Is there a sexual or otherwise difference between someone in a wheelchair vs someone who severely limps?
As a person with a severe limp from a paralyzed leg, wearing a brace, I feel we in a way get much more attention than someone in a wheelchair. Since our disability is actually walking when we do it I feel a huge spotlight on me.
I would venture to guess depending on the Dev, 1 disability may be preferred over another.
Not sure if any of this makes sense. Please don't drag me through the mud too badly if I said anything wrong. And of course apologies if I did.
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knicole
Junior Member
Posts: 83 
Gender: Female
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Post by knicole on Oct 25, 2023 23:09:47 GMT -5
Blunt questions are the best questions imo.
Personally I like both, someone rolling and someone limping. The thing is though, for me at least, someone just having a limp wouldn't be exciting? interesting? attractive? (not sure what word I'm looking for) enough for me.
When someone uses a wheelchair there are often a lot of other obstacles they have to overcome, or other things they're dealing with due to their disability, and those are the things I think myself and most devs are into. For myself, I wouldn't be into someone who used a wheelchair for POTS or EDS or anything like that because their bodies essentially function in an average way, other than their joint issues or blood pressure issues. So conversely, if someone has a really severe limp, but otherwise their body functions in an average way, yes it would be sexy to see them walking/limping, but their overall disability wouldn't be "devvy" to me.
Not sure if any of that makes sense, haha
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Post by ayla on Oct 26, 2023 17:14:19 GMT -5
For me personally it’s the paralysis. That has to be involved somehow as I think it’s the main turn on. Now, how much is enough to get me going? And how much is overkill? That really varies and other aspects of my attraction to the person can impact it (chemistry, how he relates to his disability, personality, general good looks). Generally anything L1-C5 is a safe bet for me, though there are always exceptions. I’ve been known to fancy guys with one paralyzed limb (I’m thinking of someone in particular with a paralyzed arm). And I’ve been known to go for guys with an injury higher than C5. Even amputees (without paralysis) on rare occasions! It’s not so black and white because none of us chose this, it’s just a label to describe what is. If we actually picked the traits we like, it might make a little more sense 😂
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Post by Dani on Oct 26, 2023 17:40:19 GMT -5
I am mostly a paraplegia/quadriplegia devotee but generally am interested in disabilities affecting walking or lack thereof, and I am definitely a leg brace devotee. That being said, all other boxes, such as personality and a general attraction to the person, have to be there for me. I do prefer acquired disabilities affecting the legs. I feel no dev triggers with arm or hand disabilities, so for me, it's definitely a leg thing.
It's not that often I see anything regarding leg braces, but I have seen some paralyzed guys who use them, and if I find those guys attractive, yes, I am very much into it.
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robbieatl
New Member
Posts: 11
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled
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Post by robbieatl on Oct 27, 2023 9:53:10 GMT -5
Awesome responses everyone. Thank you. I was t sure how it would come across.
Kinda "funny". I have a leg brace, KAFO, one leg is completely paralyzed and it's shorter than the other and I have horrible balance. Too bad I can't put that on my Match.com profile lol
I didn't know it at the time but I was hooking up with this person one time and she kept picking up my limp leg and would just sort of run it on her body and face. Hard to explain. I thought, this is different but cool. I never asked her what her attraction was because I thought if I asked her she would think what is she doing and then not hangout anymore - I know stupid ha.
Sucks having the spotlight but you have to make the most of it :-)
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Post by devogirl on Oct 28, 2023 1:16:30 GMT -5
I was hooking up with this person one time and she kept picking up my limp leg and would just sort of run it on her body and face.
What the actual fuck. This sounds like a porny male fantasy of a dev, not like any real dev I have known. A dev who is closeted or not self-aware, someone who can't or won't tell you she is a dev, is far more likely to run away or hide her attraction for fear of being found out.
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robbieatl
New Member
Posts: 11
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled
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Post by robbieatl on Oct 28, 2023 13:54:39 GMT -5
Maybe I helped her fulfill a fantasy haha but I doubt it cause it's not like she ever mentioned anything about it. Met her online, after talking told her about the leg and she said the typical "I don't judge but I won't know if I'm comfortable with it till I meet you". I've mostly met women through online, lame I know, so this part of the convos was expected for me. Smh.
Anyway, point being I don't think it was a dev thing, I think it was just her being drunk/high (college was fun ha). Or who knows, maybe she's on this site also. Ha.
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knicole
Junior Member
Posts: 83
Gender: Female
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Post by knicole on Oct 28, 2023 23:12:13 GMT -5
I was hooking up with this person one time and she kept picking up my limp leg and would just sort of run it on her body and face.
What the actual fuck. This sounds like a porny male fantasy of a dev, not like any real dev I have known. A dev who is closeted or not self-aware, someone who can't or won't tell you she is a dev, is far more likely to run away or hide her attraction for fear of being found out.
My thoughts exactly! wtf? |
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Post by ichbin on Oct 29, 2023 4:59:42 GMT -5
Me personally I like both
Someone limping will always catch my attention and it will be devvy attention...
Someone paralyzed in a wheelchair is even more... devvingly beautiful to me
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Post by blueskye101 on Oct 30, 2023 20:00:06 GMT -5
Personally both but I have a very wide range of disabilities that I’m attracted to and it soooo depends on personality and attitude etc as others have mentioned.
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not THAT violet
Full Member
Please, no unsolicited “sup?” PMs :)
Posts: 133
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Married/Domestic partnership
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Post by not THAT violet on Oct 31, 2023 16:25:36 GMT -5
This is not something most of the lady devs tend to do, because we are WAY more polite and have no such need for making crass demands like SHOW UR CRIPPLED LEG of people on the internet we don’t even KNOW.
However, your disability is a bit more unique, so I think I speak for at least a few others when I ask: may we see a picture of your leg and brace, please?
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Violet
(not)
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robbieatl
New Member
Posts: 11
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled
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Post by robbieatl on Nov 4, 2023 20:12:33 GMT -5
This is not something most of the lady devs tend to do, because we are WAY more polite and have no such need for making crass demands like SHOW UR CRIPPLED LEG of people on the internet we don’t even KNOW. However, your disability is a bit more unique, so I think I speak for at least a few others when I ask: may we see a picture of your leg and brace, please? Thank you for your consideration. Sincerely, Violet (not) Sorry for the delayed response. I don't seem to get notifications of posts. Anyway, yes, I'll DM you with a pic or two tomorrow. Not sure why, and maybe it's just me but I think couple of the responses are a bit aggressive in their response to what I shared. It's like "we are attracted to disabled ppl, sexy even, but we dont do that weird stuff" lol. Nice layer of irony lol :-) |
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Post by Braced4Impact on Nov 5, 2023 8:25:40 GMT -5
Hi Robbieatl, as a dude who walks with a limp/braces myself, I know your frustration and where you're coming from. While I'm very grateful that I am still able to walk, with the assistance of AFO leg braces, and a tilting limp, it does often lead to more intrusive questions. I think the general public at least understands wheelchairs. It's a category they can neatly file and figure out; that person has a wheelchair, they're disabled, understood. I think limps are harder for people to understand, especially odd or pronounced ones. "Oh, how did you injure your leg?" I get a lot, and I have to explain it was my spine from spina bifida, not the leg itself. People think a limp means you must've twisted your ankle or broken your leg or took a tumble or whatever. Plus, I've often found being someone with a limp amongst the dev community you're often "not disabled enough" for some devotees. (Sorry if that rubs people the wrong way, but I've had some devs use pretty much that exact language.) So you often feel like a pariah in general society for being too disabled and an outcast in the dev world as not being disabled enough. It can be a tough go in those regards.
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not THAT violet
Full Member
Please, no unsolicited “sup?” PMs :)
Posts: 133
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Married/Domestic partnership
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Post by not THAT violet on Nov 6, 2023 1:10:20 GMT -5
I think the general public at least understands wheelchairs. It's a category they can neatly file and figure out; that person has a wheelchair, they're disabled, understood. . . . So you often feel like a pariah in general society for being too disabled and an outcast in the dev world as not being disabled enough. It can be a tough go in those regards. Yeah, I’ve heard this can be hard for people with injuries such as (“very,” if there is such a thing) incomplete SCIs. A guy I chatted with is technically a C6 quad and can walk unaided (although he uses a cane if he gets tired), but his sensation is sketchy here and there and various functions (plumbing, etc.) are affected. Even just ambulatory wheelchair users - “OMG, faker!” 🙄 Framing is a big deal in communication. We want to be able to have a key unlocking a single set of norms. Gender, for instance: we’re not used to saying, “Okay, in most situations, you can call me ‘him’ or “them’ or whatever; and when I’m dressed femme you can call me ‘her,’ but I really prefer the pronoun ‘judy.’”* Meanwhile, you want to be understood for who you are, but sometimes it’s quicker (if annoying and, yes, incorrect) to just let people go with assumptions, right? *as does the artist Taylor Mac. Judy is amazing. |
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Post by Braced4Impact on Nov 6, 2023 1:17:30 GMT -5
I think the general public at least understands wheelchairs. It's a category they can neatly file and figure out; that person has a wheelchair, they're disabled, understood. . . . So you often feel like a pariah in general society for being too disabled and an outcast in the dev world as not being disabled enough. It can be a tough go in those regards. Yeah, I’ve heard this can be hard for people with injuries such as (“very,” if there is such a thing) incomplete SCIs. A guy I chatted with is technically a C6 quad and can walk unaided (although he uses a cane if he gets tired), but his sensation is sketchy here and there and various functions (plumbing, etc.) are affected. Even just ambulatory wheelchair users - “OMG, faker!” 🙄 Framing is a big deal in communication. We want to be able to have a key unlocking a single set of norms. Gender, for instance: we’re not used to saying, “Okay, in most situations, you can call me ‘him’ or “them’ or whatever; and when I’m dressed femme you can call me ‘her,’ but I really prefer the pronoun ‘judy.’”* Meanwhile, you want to be understood for who you are, but sometimes it’s quicker (if annoying and, yes, incorrect) to just let people go with assumptions, right? *as does the artist Taylor Mac. Judy is amazing. Yeah, I've kinda just gotten over people in general and let them assume whatever they want about me. 99.9% of them aren't worth my time anyway  |
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