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Post by faith on Nov 18, 2008 18:38:46 GMT -5
Any suggestions on how to approach a wheeler when they are with another person?
Today I ran into a drug store and I saw an attractive quad wheeler looking at greeting cards. Of course I made my way down that aisle (certain that I needed a greeting card for something). We made eye contact and I smiled but he was not alone. I think he was with his assistant- she was much younger, looked like she might be dressed for that job and was showing him a few cards. I didn't get the impression they were a couple- neither had a ring and they just didn't act that way.
I didn't know what to say because she was with him. If he would have been alone I would have felt more comfortable flirting, but it would have been weird with her there.
Any suggestions if I see him again? Something more than a flirtatious smile but yet not so obvious that it would make her uncomfortable?
I did exit the store soon after that and made note of his van in front of the store (I assume it was his). I have seen it around my town so I think he lives in the area.
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Post by E on Nov 18, 2008 20:06:54 GMT -5
I'm out with young females on a regular basis to a variety of places and people often assume one of said females is my aide. One friend notoriously gets comments about "her job" or "how nice it is" that she helps me for work. We find this quite funny.
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Post by BA on Nov 18, 2008 20:47:37 GMT -5
I'd find that pretty presumptuous. Pray, don't tell me the 'one friend' who gets pinned as your aide just happens to be dark skinned.
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Post by matisse on Nov 18, 2008 20:55:27 GMT -5
I'm out with young females on a regular basis to a variety of places and people often assume one of said females is my aide. One friend notoriously gets comments about "her job" or "how nice it is" that she helps me for work. We find this quite funny. I guess my version is "are those your kids" when I am out with my boys on my own. Fortunately that doesn't happen often. |
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Post by Ouch on Nov 18, 2008 22:30:04 GMT -5
faith, I'm no expert myself; especially when approaching wheelers for potential dates, lol! I have a few ideas, though... ...if you ever find yourself in a similar situation (or bump into this particular fellow again), just go gunning, pull the bloody trigger and go...because if you keep doubting yourself you're just not going to do it...and then end up killing yourself, regretting it, and asking us why you didn't do it... ...move in, ask them both (so you're not 'bumping her out', and gathering useful information as well): "Are you both looking for something?"; then, I agree with the icebreaker: "What are ya' lookin' for?" ...likely they'll be used to people approaching them asking general-purpose questions, and she'll/they'll explain she's an aide... ...then seal the deal...you could say: 'So, if you're out and about alone, perhaps you'd like some company? Do you have a number I could reach you at (which most people can't say 'no' to  ); I'd love to go and [insert fun activity here].'...of course you may want to do recon to discern what would be such an appropriate activity (if you want to do something beyond the typical 'grab a coffee'. Men can be dumb...a smile (especially as recieved by a potentially cynical wheeler) could just be seen as a condescending: "Good job, you're out and living life! Yay!!!", go for the kill directly, you're more apt to reel in a catch. Of course this is all merely opinion, and last time I checked I wasn't a ladykiller so much...take at your own risk. |
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Post by faith on Nov 18, 2008 22:47:28 GMT -5
Thanks all... I will keep it all in mind if I run into him again.  E- you are correct. I shouldn't assume anything. She looked like she might be a health care worker of some kind. She was wearing on of those scrub tops- this one had bright funny faces - I've seen them in all different designs even puppies and kitties at the vets office. But she could have been on her way to or from work. Suppose I am just trying to justify in my mind that maybe they are not a couple! In any case I will say SOMETHING next time. |
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Post by roger888 on Nov 19, 2008 2:28:20 GMT -5
faith, I'm no expert myself; especially when approaching wheelers for potential dates, lol! I have a few ideas, though... ...if you ever find yourself in a similar situation (or bump into this particular fellow again), just go gunning, pull the bloody trigger and go...because if you keep doubting yourself you're just not going to do it...and then end up killing yourself, regretting it, and asking us why you didn't do it... Windrider has it exactly right here ;D.He/She who hesitates....& I forget the rest of the quotation,but you probably know what comes next.Worst thing you can do is spend the rest of your life regreting opportunities where you did nothing at all.Think of this situation from the wheelers point of view too.He might have noticed you & was thinking how he could make a play with a friend in tow.Works both ways. |
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Post by Triassic on Nov 19, 2008 5:09:56 GMT -5
these sorts of 'missed connections' are just a huge, ongoing, frustrating problem for so many; the root of the problem is how do you indicate 'i might be interested in you' to a complete stranger in a way that is unambiguous but non-stalkerish, in public, with maybe others around, while having only a brief-perhaps VERY brief-window of opportunity in which to act? i can't help but think that there MUST be a tech solution to this whole thing; something like a little ipod type device that someone could wear that could somehow be 'pinged' by a nearby cellphone, and a text message left; basically just some way to text a stranger who is, say, in line of sight and within 20 feet... there are problems, sure, but if the right system could be devised the inventor would be the next new billionaire.
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Post by E on Nov 19, 2008 8:43:47 GMT -5
I'd find that pretty presumptuous. Pray, don't tell me the 'one friend' who gets pinned as your aide just happens to be dark skinned. Ding ding ding! We have a winner!  |
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Post by Pony on Nov 19, 2008 9:28:06 GMT -5
My luck, I'd text, or ding, the wrong person...maybe the dude stocking supplies!!!
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Post by Ouch on Nov 19, 2008 10:46:20 GMT -5
these sorts of 'missed connections' are just a huge, ongoing, frustrating problem for so many; the root of the problem is how do you indicate 'i might be interested in you' to a complete stranger in a way that is unambiguous but non-stalkerish, in public, with maybe others around, while having only a brief-perhaps VERY brief-window of opportunity in which to act? i can't help but think that there MUST be a tech solution to this whole thing; something like a little ipod type device that someone could wear that could somehow be 'pinged' by a nearby cellphone, and a text message left; basically just some way to text a stranger who is, say, in line of sight and within 20 feet... there are problems, sure, but if the right system could be devised the inventor would be the next new billionaire. Well, Tri, really that system doesn't need any additional hardware - mobile phones can accomplish that. Software (and a public willingness) would have to be created to allow a function (though it's not really a stretch - myspace and facebook have created people into rather 'public entities'). I could see an innovative nightclub having a small downloadable app that you could get on your phone to put it into 'public mode' or 'chatter mode', or 'flirt mode', where your number is broadcasted out to everyone - so everyone could just check out a directory of numbers in the nightclub (hell, add their pictures too, if they want), and they can peruse and pick and choose who they want to encounter by looking at the directory and sending a text message to that person in the nightclub. ...personally, I think the ol' fashioned way of human to human contact (when it is possible) to engage in hookin' up is the best way to go about it; I can forsee a future though, where the former method becomes more prevalent and then, dominant, woe (though, funny enough it's been the 'electronic method' that has worked out the best for me over the 'personal method', go figure)! |
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Post by Triassic on Nov 19, 2008 16:09:03 GMT -5
way, waaay back in 1983 when i used to actually go out to clubs and all...there was this club in orlando-a big schlocky meat market-that had phones on every table. every table had a 3 digit number so you could call up a likely looking prospect from your table. not sure how well it worked as i never went there.
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Post by Ouch on Nov 19, 2008 21:35:40 GMT -5
Well in a way there is kinda a tech device where you can 'text' a person near you. Awhile ago (maybe two or three years now that I am thinking about it...) I was at the movies with one of my guy friends and he has one of those handheld playstation things... idk what it's called exactly... PSP?? Hmm.. well, someone sitting about two rows in front of us had his out and was playing with it and my friend said "hey I should take mine out and talk to him!" (He didn't though) I guess some sort of thing where they could both connect if you're within a certain distance... So, I guess if you're a gamer and see another gamer girl you could both start gaming with each other in the store  The PSP could act as a mobile phone, as well as access the Internet, so you could IM or talk with voice to another PSP user...but nothing more particularly revolutionary than what we already have. ...and there are no such thing as gamer girls...just merely legends . |
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Post by Triassic on Nov 20, 2008 8:29:46 GMT -5
no...there sure ARE gamer girls; and hot too. i used to know one.
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Post by Ouch on Nov 20, 2008 11:09:55 GMT -5
no...there sure ARE gamer girls; and hot too. i used to know one. Correction, my friend...there are not hot gamer girls interested in gamer guys (especially wheeler gamer guys...)... |
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); I'd love to go and [insert fun activity here].'...of course you may want to do recon to discern what would be such an appropriate activity (if you want to do something beyond the typical 'grab a coffee'.
