Post by ~Z28gal~ on Oct 30, 2011 19:23:27 GMT -5
Hey Judit -
I thought this was beautiful! Made me smile. I've gone back and forth on this question too - it's hard! In my experience, it's not telling them that your man is a wheeler that's scary - it's thinking that they might figure out that you're a dev! I felt that my devness was too much a part of my life to keep it from my family - watching what I said when I was talking about a new guy (how we met, where he lived, what we did together...) and worrying that they would somehow discover that I was a dev was exhausting. My parents and my sister all know, and it's a huge relief! I guess that advice applies more to girls that are still in the dating scene - it makes it so much easier for you that you are already married and don't have to worry about introducing more than one wheeler to the family!
For people other than family or really close friends, then I think Ruth's response is awesome.
I don't know if this would work or not, but my suggestion would be to mention it off hand in a way that makes it seem like it's no big deal at all, an after thought. Just an "oh, by the way" but keep it so breezy and relaxed that it makes her feel like she's the weird one for being surprised by it.
This is usually what I do - I don't make a point of telling them that my man is a wheeler, but I also don't bother watching what I say. It usually comes out pretty casually that way - I'll be telling a story about getting stuck in an alleyway because the only way out was up some stairs, and they'll say, "Ummm, why were the stairs an issue?" and I just say, "Oh, because he's in a wheelchair." It usually works out pretty well! I do still worry about what will happen if I ever have to introduce them to another wheeler... but I decided that I'll cross that bridge when/if I get there, and that in the mean time, it's going to add stress to an otherwise wonderful relationship, and it's not worth worrying about now.
I have gotten a few "Oh, what a good person you are!" type comments, and it catches me off guard every time, because you're right, we are the lucky ones.