ej
Full Member
Posts: 218
Gender: Female
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by ej on May 24, 2013 23:03:02 GMT -5
Don't leave us hanging, scook!
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still
New Member
Posts: 45
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by still on May 25, 2013 0:55:58 GMT -5
Ha... We had a good time though it didn't last much longer. She wasn't a dev, just an unusually open minded person. In the end, I think the combination of my limitations and my hesitance towards her ended it.
The last time I saw her I was a complete idiot. We met at my place and she drove my accessible van (very sweet) to an art show then sushi then a drag show. It was great. She wore this shiny/lace blue dress, I had on a bow tie. We drew some attention to say the least- the queens loved us. We got home fairly late. The locking mechanism for the chair got stuck and so she had to fumble with it for a minute, affording us time for some affection... I asked her inside, she agreed, and then I was in this bizarre situation again. What was I supposed to do? None of my aides were there as they were all at parties of their own. I couldn't have asked her to pick me up... we we just getting to know each other and for me, that would be a huge deal. So, I just kind of brushed her hand, she responded, and again, all I could do was verbalize. I asked her, very bluntly, to lay on my bed, she did, we kissed for a while... and then I completely froze up. There was this moment where I was looking directly into her eyes a bit too intensely for a bit too long and she read me completely. I was just confused and incredulous that this was happening at all. I said some things I now regret, honest but possibly little too raw. We spoke a few more times after that but it faded pretty quickly. I still think about her fairly often as she was the closest I've come to a relationship.
I'm really glad to have met her and am actually thankful it wasn't any more emotional or lasting than it was. She proved some assumptions I had held wrong and really freed me to be more honest with people. Now, whenever I'm with someone and I think it's leading somewhere I just ask, really directly, rather than pine away endlessly like I used to.
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Post by Ath on May 25, 2013 2:58:52 GMT -5
... She proved some assumptions I had held wrong and really freed me to be more honest with people. Now, whenever I'm with someone and I think it's leading somewhere I just ask, really directly, rather than pine away endlessly like I used to. ...When I was young single and free to travel I was that woman... sometimes by accident sometimes agreed upon -I LOVED it. One of the most positive things about being a dev is giving that "gift".
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still
New Member
Posts: 45
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by still on May 25, 2013 10:02:12 GMT -5
Yes, definitely. That seems to be a common thread. The desire to give in the way you describe is by far the best evidence against those outsiders who think of devotee-ism as a "mere" fetish.* It is a very human desire. This isn't to suggest I'm a completed project by any means. I'm on this site for selfish reasons... I still hold many negative assumptions for someone to delight in proving wrong. *though no fetish, besides those that seek to inflict harm, can be judged morally
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Post by janewheeler on May 25, 2013 13:05:08 GMT -5
This is lovely. Thanks for sharing it!
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Post by Corey on May 25, 2013 21:24:39 GMT -5
What was I supposed to do? None of my aides were there as they were all at parties of their own. I couldn't have asked her to pick me up... we we just getting to know each other and for me, that would be a huge deal. Haha yea that would have been awkward, maybe even impossible. Do you have a lift? Asking a girl to use a Hoyer lift for the first time is a little awkward but strangely knowing I dont need to rely on my aides for this step has given me a lot of confidence. I use to worry about stuff like this.
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Post by happyface2013 on Aug 7, 2014 13:51:51 GMT -5
Cooks, you should have pleasured her for a while (finger & tongue if possible), then asked her to use whatever lift you have if you can verbal verbally do so. Just saying this for next time the opportunity arises.
It can be very difficult to deal with spontaneous situations with a severe disability.
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Post by hail on Aug 7, 2014 19:12:15 GMT -5
This is a great thread!
My first dating experience came three summers ago when I was volunteering at a summer camp for children with disabilities. I really hit it off with one of the other volunteers. Interestingly I got the courage to start talking to her when I learned that she had once dated another guy with MD. She taught me that there are open minded women out there that will give me a chance. I shared my first kiss with her and will never forget it. It unfortunately only ever lasted the summer but it was magic. Sounds like she might be a devotee and doesn't even know it yet, who knows. I think it's sad that people often said to me that she likely had a disability fetish, as if that makes it any less real or unnatural.
This summer fling was far far better than any of my other sexual experiences with sex workers, of which there have been many. At least I feel very prepared for my future partners now knowing what I can do and what my limits are.
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Post by Emma on Aug 8, 2014 0:00:55 GMT -5
I think it's sad that people often said to me that she likely had a disability fetish, as if that makes it any less real or unnatural. I like this line so much! I know you are relatively new to the site and not sure how new you are to devotees but its nice to see a new guy say something like this. So many guys come here and say the opposite.
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Post by hail on Aug 8, 2014 0:08:01 GMT -5
I think it's sad that people often said to me that she likely had a disability fetish, as if that makes it any less real or unnatural. I like this line so much! I know you are relatively new to the site and not sure how new you are to devotees but its nice to see a new guy say something like this. So many guys come here and say the opposite. Well thank you. I'm quite new to devotees but I feel like I've got a good handle one what they're all about.
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Post by PretzelTwist on Jul 8, 2016 21:40:06 GMT -5
Wow. Just wow. This is intense. Chock-full of heaviness...like I just went through a whole slew of emotions reading this. I can only imagine how it felt being in the moment. Very heartfelt and, for lack of a better word, nice.
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Gregg
New Member
Posts: 11
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by Gregg on Mar 10, 2018 21:42:23 GMT -5
Gimpster, Those who know and love you must be so very proud. You have a gift for writing in a manner that reaches inside the reader and puts them beside you in the story. It's impossible to be a casual observer gazing through a window at what you experience. Being so new to PD, I have only read two threads--both posted by you. Reading through the comments shows you to be an inspiration, to both wheelers and devs, on every conceivable level.
When I had my accident, I was in a brand new relationship. I had only been in Colorado for 11 months, dating her for only several weeks and she was there when I errantly dove off the wrong end of a boat. She was IN the hospital every moment she could spare. For some reason, I could not shake the feeling that I was limiting her potential, her future, her dreams. My singular focus rendered me blind to the realization that I was imposing those limitations upon her. Thinking I was doing the honorable thing merely robbed her of choices that were hers--not mine. I went through the motions for a while. When I was discharged from rehab 8 months post injury day, I went to live with her while awaiting housing of my own. That was when the awkwardness of intimacy reared its seemingly ugly head. As positive and tenacious as my attitude was, I felt overwhelmingly inadequate.
I was painfully aware of her desire to have children. Even more so of my desire to give them to her. But I could not see how that would ever happen. It was was then that I made my second poor judgement since finding her. I made the choice to put me out of her misery. A choice I regret to this moment even though we are still good friends. I thought in setting her free she would return if it was meant to be. How many times I had heard that phrase. No matter how long I sat at my window hoping, that return would never come.
In the interim, I met a physical therapist while on a disabled ski trip to Winterpark, Colorado. Her interest in me was a breath of fresh air. We fell in love and I asked her to marry me. Her yes was music to my ears. One evening while looking at wedding dresses, I got one of those intuitive moments we hope are anything but real. Locked in a distant gaze where all sights and sounds disappear, she touched my shoulder snapping me back into the bridal shop. She asked so lovingly what was wrong. I simply stated I didn't know but I knew something would stand in our way. She reassured me I was wrong. I smiled but I was unconvinced. Arriving at her at her place an hour later, she used my chair as a dolly to take a microwave she purchased to her apartment. When we had pulled into the parking lot, I noticed a man pacing as he smoked a cigarette some distance away. She loaded up the microwave and disappeared into the darkness. I glanced to where the man had been and he was gone. The moments ticked by. Ten of those whizzed by and I worried. Then 30 went by and I was alarmed. To my delight, she reappeared but walked to the passenger side window instead of my side to let me out. She said "we have a problem." My response left her white as a ghost. "Jim is here isn't he?" You see, Jim was her ex boyfriend from Houston, Texas. She had written him of her engagement to me. I'm guessing he was less than pleased. Her answer removed any guessing. How did you know she asked. I told you at the bridal shop was all I could say. Here he was all the way from Houston. She kindly asked me to allow her to talk to him. She didn't need my permission so I asked to call me when he was gone. She never even offered me a hug as she loaded my chair back into my truck and once again disappeared into the darkness. I never saw that beautiful face again.
From that point forward, I gave up all hope of finding love. I embarked on a self destructive journey of carnal knowledge of an erectionless future. I didn't know if she saw him as better than me or more capable than me. Frankly I didn't care.
Fast forwarding to now, I no longer doubt my ability to pleasure a woman. I'm confident in telling one that is the case. But I shy away from love. I now face the struggle that my age will certainly prevent me from finding it. Living in a state where a premium is placed on your ability to hike, bike, walk up a fourteener and "please be taller than me", I have less than stellar hopes I won't die alone.
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Post by mona on Mar 11, 2018 6:10:14 GMT -5
Gregg, thanks for digging up this thread. It takes my breath away.
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Gregg
New Member
Posts: 11
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by Gregg on Mar 11, 2018 12:33:34 GMT -5
Gregg , thanks for digging up this thread. It takes my breath away. mona, you're welcome. It's resurrection was quite unintended. I am in my infancy as a member here. To gain a feel for the board, I started reading and this thread was the first I came across. I too was in awe of the stories. I had to comment. Lol I'm still learning the mechanics and it never crossed my mind to look at the date or the elapsed time frame. Though its relevance is timeless.
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Post by mona on Mar 11, 2018 13:32:46 GMT -5
Though its relevance is timeless. It is!
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