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Post by BA on Mar 11, 2013 20:27:48 GMT -5
So, I figured that since it was put out there that I would officially open this thread. I think it would be great to have a no hold's barred open thread where the guys can ask anything they want and get some honest and open responses from us. We have attempted this thread before but it has gotten de-railed and as a result some of us kind shut down and didn't want to talk anymore about our stuff. This is the kind of thread where some of us may want to put some things 'out there' that might be revealing and/or sensitive. It would really be appreciated if the thread stays on topic. If it starts to drift I think anyone should feel free to post a reminder. It is my sincere hope that with this kind of topic that people refrain from sarcasm and jokes. This can be tough stuff for many of us to talk about and your respect is so important. As for me, I'm open to any question you have.  |
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Post by lavly on Mar 11, 2013 20:58:17 GMT -5
do you want to do the something as we are doing on the other thread? like 5 responses ? before we go to the next question? but you know what i think 5 is a lot ... how about we say 3 answers, to every question and if the devs get to the thread late then they can go back and answer the older questions.
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Post by BA on Mar 11, 2013 21:00:41 GMT -5
3 sounds good. My biggest fear is that nobody is going to ask anything and then I'll feel like a big ol' jerk.
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Post by lavly on Mar 11, 2013 21:05:57 GMT -5
lol worse comes to worse the devs can ask each other questions |
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Post by A££Y "Cuddles" Magoo on Mar 12, 2013 1:21:19 GMT -5
What if all the questions were in bold? Then it would be easier to track of them. Also, I think everyone should quote the question they are answering, as there maybe more responses to some questions than others. what do u think?
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Post by lavly on Mar 12, 2013 2:02:02 GMT -5
I like the quoting idea |
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Post by matisse on Mar 12, 2013 11:15:40 GMT -5
If you could permanently get rid of your dev-ness, would you?
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Post by Valkyrja on Mar 12, 2013 13:36:14 GMT -5
I did't, Matisse. I've had this feelings since I can remember; I am pretty sure that being a dev is a part of myself, a part of who I am today. It was a rough road but, once I discovered who and what I was, everything began to drop into the right places.
(That's just abut me)
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Post by Kid A on Mar 12, 2013 13:59:33 GMT -5
If you could permanently get rid of your dev-ness, would you? Before I knew there was a word for how I felt, the answer to that question would have been a resounding, "YES!" However, after finding this community and learning more about it and myself, I truly have not only accepted, but embraced it. That said, I'm not sure how I would've felt if I hadn't found love here as well. I may have just been a bit slower to accept it. |
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Post by ladyliz on Mar 12, 2013 14:19:23 GMT -5
If you could permanently get rid of your dev-ness, would you? Not a chance. Everyone has get weird stuff about them and if we all changed it then we'd all be "normal"...and well, those are the true scary ones.  In all seriousness, I don't mind it at all. I don't even see the issue. So? I prefer something a little different...so do lots of others. And there is always worse. Always. I also like to think of it as positive wonderful thing. We like something most people are put off by...we love those who might find themselves unlovable. It truly touches me that my brother might find someone like me one day (he's blind). So to answer the question, fuck no. Not a fucking chance. |
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Post by ~Z28gal~ on Mar 12, 2013 16:13:03 GMT -5
If you could permanently get rid of your dev-ness, would you? If it had developed later in my life, yes. It makes life complicated, in too many dimensions. Note that I am not saying that being with a wheeler makes things complicated (although it does) - it's everything beyond that that just... sucks sometimes. As some others have mentioned, I can remember being "devvy" in preschool, and it's a really pervasive part of my life. So... I would be committing suicide to a certain extent if I got rid of my devness now. |
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Post by Emma on Mar 12, 2013 16:57:54 GMT -5
If you could permanently get rid of your dev-ness, would you? No way, never. It's so much a part of who I am I'd be lost in so many ways if I wasn't a dev. |
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Post by mike on Mar 12, 2013 20:50:03 GMT -5
OK, you're out with mr. Right, and he is disabled in a way that appeals to you. Would you want his disability to be more, or less visible?
Everyone is different, so we shouldn't expect the same answer from everyone. If you are attracted to different things, does the answer depend upon the specific disability?
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Post by Enid on Mar 12, 2013 21:00:38 GMT -5
I'm afraid I don't understand the question completely. "Visible" in which way? To whom?
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Post by AlrightyAphrodite on Mar 12, 2013 22:04:41 GMT -5
Someone feel free to send the Internet Squad after me for being the 3rd plus answer, but I'm going to respond to both questions. First: if I could get rid of my devness, like Men In Black mind-eraser style, I think I might actually do it. I'm not ashamed of being a dev and I don't feel guilt about it, as has been said in other threads. I do just think that the logistics of finding a disabled partner are so much harder than they are for girls who dig on AB guys. The pool is larger, traveling is easier, etc. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy as I am and I generally find the trade offs to be well worth it. If I didn't, I wouldn't cultivate the attraction as I do. I obviously can't, but if I could change it, I would probably go for biologists or something... As to the second, Mike, feel free to correct me if this is not the interpretation you were looking for. But, if I have it right, at this point in my life, I actually do feel most attracted to a disability with a degree of visibility to it. I suppose I used to have a more challenging relationship with being stared at or being the center of attention while out with a guy, and kind of feel defensive or uncomfortable about it. I think as I have been more willing to publicly accept my devness, it has triggered a degree of latent exhibitionism in me. I guess I enjoy the attention, and if people are going to stare, I enjoy challenging their expectations and giving them something to stare at Once while I was out with a friend with MD, I was asked (in that sweet, syrupy voice, you all know it) if I was his sister. Let me say, while I didn't correct her verbally, I believe she got the point... |
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In all seriousness, I don't mind it at all. I don't even see the issue. So? I prefer something a little different...so do lots of others. And there is always worse. Always. I also like to think of it as positive wonderful thing. We like something most people are put off by...we love those who might find themselves unlovable. It truly touches me that my brother might find someone like me one day (he's blind). So to answer the question, fuck no. Not a fucking chance. 
