Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2015 11:43:54 GMT -5
Okay, here's my final draft. I actually have gotten some decent replies from Craig's List. 
1. Rock star parking! Seriously, this is a big one.
2. I give wheelchair rides. I'm quite comfy and walking is overrated.
3. People let me cut in lines. I'm not sure why they do but it beats sitting outside in the cold.
4. Playing the "Cripple Card" is the best excuse for getting out of shit you don't want to do. Who's going to argue that I don't feel well? This superpower also applies to my +1.
5. People give me free shit. Again, I don't quite get their reasoning but you'll be covered under this policy as well. Free shit is good.
6. I'm the best comedy fodder ever. Ever been out with a drunk, crippled guy that makes up stories about how he got hurt? No? I highly recommend it.
7. I'm like having a built-in lawn chair. Everywhere we go, you'll have a place to sit. Think about it.
8. I use a power chair. Do you have any idea how much this thing can carry? Think shopping bags, picnic supplies, survival gear?
9. I'm really difficult to kidnap. You might think this is only a perk for me but you'll never have to pay a ransom. Bail, on the other hand... I can't make any promises.
10. In the event of a zombie apocalypse or bear attack, I'm easy to outrun. (I can't promise that I won't later eat your brains, but that's the risk you take when dating a pre-zombie.)
1. Rock star parking! Seriously, this is a big one.
2. I give wheelchair rides. I'm quite comfy and walking is overrated.
3. People let me cut in lines. I'm not sure why they do but it beats sitting outside in the cold.
4. Playing the "Cripple Card" is the best excuse for getting out of shit you don't want to do. Who's going to argue that I don't feel well? This superpower also applies to my +1.
5. People give me free shit. Again, I don't quite get their reasoning but you'll be covered under this policy as well. Free shit is good.
6. I'm the best comedy fodder ever. Ever been out with a drunk, crippled guy that makes up stories about how he got hurt? No? I highly recommend it.
7. I'm like having a built-in lawn chair. Everywhere we go, you'll have a place to sit. Think about it.
8. I use a power chair. Do you have any idea how much this thing can carry? Think shopping bags, picnic supplies, survival gear?
9. I'm really difficult to kidnap. You might think this is only a perk for me but you'll never have to pay a ransom. Bail, on the other hand... I can't make any promises.
10. In the event of a zombie apocalypse or bear attack, I'm easy to outrun. (I can't promise that I won't later eat your brains, but that's the risk you take when dating a pre-zombie.)
