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Post by Nia on Aug 29, 2017 13:19:45 GMT -5
Omg I thought that I was the only one seeing and experiencing devy things with AB guys my AB boyfriend is super devy to me. First of all it's so easy for me to imagine him somehow disabled, when he sleeps or while sitting. This is both new and strange to me because I've never experienced something like that with no other BF before him. Also, to answer the question from the thread- I find super devy that he has a relatively big scar from his appendix surgery and also he has some strange condition with his left knee (he has a small part of the bone that's moving inside the knee freely causing severe pain) that's making him limp. Also sometimes when it gets worse he has trouble walking. I find both those things extremely devy and that's what's probably differentiating him from all my other BFs
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Devvy ABs
Sept 18, 2017 7:58:48 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by elbs on Sept 18, 2017 7:58:48 GMT -5
Not exactly a trait, but what fandom refers to as 'whump' sets off devvy feelings in me.
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Post by strawberrybubblegum on Sept 18, 2017 8:28:33 GMT -5
I've been meaning to post on this thread forever but for some reason I didn't...
My first boyfriend was devy to me as he had had a broken leg in a cast shortly before we met. He still had the crutches and cast at home when we were together, which I loved. Also, his leg still hurt sometimes. I remember when we had sex with him standing up, he would notice his old injury and that would send me off to heaven.
Also, my "First Love" (not the same guy) was definitely devy to me. I didn't realize it back then, but I do now in retrospect. He wasn't physically devy to me, though. I adored his body, but it wasn't exactly devy. What I found devy was definitely only on an emotional level. He was pretty darn wounded and that was always super appealing to me. I always wanted to dig deeper with him and "get him". I also longed for him to trust me and open up to me about his issues, which he eventually did a bit. I really had to wait for that and be very patient. Because he was wounded he was also emotionally unavailable, though, which made our whole relationship a big mess (five years on and off), but that's a whole other story.
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Post by strawberrybubblegum on Oct 9, 2018 13:07:25 GMT -5
Reading my last post here I have to correct myself and add something.
Over the years I have realized that my devness has something to do with (as Mona once put it so perfectly) “the aesthetic of the difference”. To me this is a huge part of my devness. And so I made the connection to this “First Love” (and also now-new-boyfriend, for that matter) I wrote about. I find him EXTREMELY attractive. Always have. I started noticing him back in the 5th grade - that’s how strong my attraction to him is. At the same time I also always knew that he’s conventionally not that good looking. None of my friends or family ever thought he was handsome or understood what I see in him. He has some attributes that aren’t exactly the “beauty standard” (for example big nose and ears, crooked teeth, very skinny). So I think that I find him devy in some way or that my strong attraction to him is at least partly because of this.
Also, now that we’ve reconnected after some years of radio silence he actually does have something that really struck my dev nerve. He had this accident a while back where his nerves in his hands/fingers got temporarily damaged so he couldn’t feel them. When he told me that story I was in dev heaven. He’s completely recovered now (which I’m really glad about, don’t get me wrong!), but he also has these scars now and I love scars, so that’s great. 😅
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2018 14:30:46 GMT -5
I'm going to reread this thread...
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2018 14:48:17 GMT -5
Wow, it's funny, I actually didn't realize I had participated in this thread back then and just reread and came across my post and it's still the same really.
When I just read Strawberry's resurrection post I thought to myself what it was about my husband that could have been devy for me and it was still the part about that friend date we had, ending up at a McDonalds and the usually quiet guy basically spilling his guts to me about his life before we met. I really think it was one of those things on his part saying "Take it or leave it but that's me". And he didn't have much to give to me...didn't even own a car at the time we met. But we both had nothing really... I was going to write about this but here I find I had already exactly written this stuff before. So for me unchanged...the guy who has had it rough but got it together and is just a good person with a good heart is devy to me in an able bodied guy.
I know for me the dev thing is more psychological and not so much physical. It's the mind that gets me and not primarily the body. In the case of a disabled guy of my preference it's a combination of both things, his mind before and after the injury and then his body. And if the mind gets me hooked, then the disabled body is a big plus. If the guy is the hottest para it means nothing if his mind is not interesting or if he is shallow and full of himself.
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