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Post by lavly on Jan 29, 2015 2:01:00 GMT -5
so i just wrote a lil about what i like about my dude in another thread and now i want to play.
i have been on a down dev cycule for awhile now and i can see that its changing ... im so so up for play like all the time. in a way its super enoying cos i have so much i need to be doing right now.
where are you guys at ? like to share ? or like to share what your reading or watching thats might be getting you going or doing the opposite?
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Post by hanabanana on Jan 29, 2015 16:07:37 GMT -5
I made a list the other day to show my guy what I like... and that was definitely sploosh worthy
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Post by lavly on Jan 29, 2015 22:42:41 GMT -5
so i have told a few devs that i think thats my bigest fear... that my devness will go away and to a point it did. i was on a dev low but on high with my dude. so i get what your talking about ... but for me its coming back ... and thank god ...
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Post by vegmama on Jan 29, 2015 23:54:05 GMT -5
I completely know what you ladies are talking about. The same happened to me when I started dating Will. But I didn't consider it as losing my devness or even a dev low. Just like @tc123 said, I figured it was because my devness was being satisfied. I went kinda quiet on the board, completely stopped reading (where I was reading like crazy before), etc. I was/am still turned on by disability...it's just mainly focused on his. I wouldn't say my dev level is as crazy as it was when I first found PD or before I met Will, but I've come around to posting more and have been thinking about searching for some reading materials. @lucyirons and lavly - You're turned on by your guy's disability, right? We're still devs...just focused devs Are these your first relationships with PWD's? This is my first. I wonder if that is a factor?
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Post by lavly on Jan 30, 2015 0:07:07 GMT -5
the weird thing for me is that i m turned on by him but maybe not in a dev way anymore. like all the highs i felt for his disability are kinda gone... he still does it for me like crazy but im not sure that its the chair that is doing it for me at this point ... maybe its just him?
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Post by vegmama on Jan 30, 2015 0:26:59 GMT -5
lavly - Hmmm. Have you been together for a while? Maybe it's both but you don't see it separately or you see the disability as just part of him? This reminds me of something lucretia said in another thread: "My devness is inextricably enmeshed in my relationship with him." I really liked that.
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Post by Maurine on Jan 30, 2015 6:08:37 GMT -5
I completely know what you ladies are talking about. The same happened to me when I started dating Will. But I didn't consider it as losing my devness or even a dev low. Just like @tc123 said, I figured it was because my devness was being satisfied. I went kinda quiet on the board, completely stopped reading (where I was reading like crazy before), etc. I was/am still turned on by disability...it's just mainly focused on his. I wouldn't say my dev level is as crazy as it was when I first found PD or before I met Will, but I've come around to posting more and have been thinking about searching for some reading materials. @lucyirons and lavly - You're turned on by your guy's disability, right? We're still devs...just focused devs Are these your first relationships with PWD's? This is my first. I wonder if that is a factor? I strongly agree. Unlike most, I don't really experience dev highs or lows. It feels more like a dev plateau that reaches back to my earliest memories at least. There are times when I'm highly occupied with something else, but I've never experienced a dev trigger not triggering my devness. Like some of you described, when I first met my bf, I was solely focused on him for a long time. However, I've experienced this focussing on one specific person for a while many times before, often on characters from my fantasy or fiction, although my focus was never so centred and exclusive as it was on my bf for the first one and a half years.
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1nfused
New Member
Posts: 31
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by 1nfused on Jan 30, 2015 16:12:32 GMT -5
the weird thing for me is that i m turned on by him but maybe not in a dev way anymore. like all the highs i felt for his disability are kinda gone... he still does it for me like crazy but im not sure that its the chair that is doing it for me at this point ... maybe its just him? That's perfectly natural. Think about it, whatver feature we find attractive it's not an end in itself, it really is only a perk - one we focus on far more when we're out of a relationship than we ever do when we're in one. This goes universally for pretty much everyone's preferences. Of course we're not going to spend the bulk of our relationship with a disabled person focused on their disability or cherishing it as much as we did initially - the same way a man might enjoy breasts and list breasts as a "must-have" feature in a woman they'd date, this doesn't mean they'll spend the rest of the relationship focused on them. Once he loves the woman, knows her, she could lose her breasts to cancer and it may not matter a scrap. Even if something is a "must-have" attribute (or percieved of as such at the beginning) that doesn't mean that priorities don't shift, that the things that determine initial attraction are things that will also provide continuous attraction - they usually don't (unless the person in question is massively superficial). At the end of the day it doesn't matter what we enjoy or where we come from that way, it's always lifestyle and character compatibilities that end up mattering before long, everything else might still be casually enjoyed, but these things do relegate themselves quite severely to the background after only a very short period of time.)
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mags0528
Junior Member
Posts: 59
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by mags0528 on Apr 19, 2015 11:54:16 GMT -5
I love reading these posts, it puts everything in perspective! I am really grateful because you devs are a few steps ahead of me. I am riding a crazy dev high right now. I am really wanting to have sex soooo baaaad....auuuuuuuugggggghhhhh
To clarify, I never really acted on my devness irl, just in fantasy looking things up online. I get really sexually frustrated sometimes, even though on the outside I have what appears to be a pretty fulfilling sexlife. Not to sound cheesy, but I feel like a fucking virgin all over again with the confusion and frustration...
On the flipside, when I'm "flicking the bean," to something intense and I orgasm, sometimes I immediatediately get turned off, like my high is fulfilled and I'm just done. Sometimes it's not enough and I get so angry frustrated! I'm glad to see ups and downs do happen, and attraction is complicated and highs/lows are "normal"! (What is normal, even heteronormative?)
I love the complexity of being attracted to the person as a whole and the disability...it's not easy, but totally fulfilling to be that vulnerable to each other in that way!! <3 <3 <3
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