Devs only- how big of a role does devness play in your life

[Maurine]

Good topic, TC, this could turn into an interesting conversation.

My devness plays an important role in my life and always has. If I weren't a dev and didn't have a strong (regular) sexual attraction to anyone or anything, I would assumably obsess more over my studies and other things I'm interested in. I don't neglect these things, but my devness consumes a lot of my time. I don't work in the medical field as there are loads of subjects that are more interesting to me, although I had considered it in my early teens.
I don't think that being a fantasy-only dev necessarily means that one's devness plays less of role in one's life. My devvy fantasies play a major role in my life, although I keep most of them to myself.

[eva]

A very important role as well. it's a part of me that I've always lived with. Time consuming, definitely (sometimes more, sometimes less), and it's not unpleasant.
I have always fantasized about my boyfriends being in a WC in the beginning of a relationship. My actual BF sometimes unknowingly flips my dev switch when he's sitting in one of those desk chairs with wheels. He has a way of positioning his arms on the armrests that's really attractive (a wheeler would touch the wheels that way) and makes me want to straddle him (which I sometimes do  . But I digress. What I'm trying to say is that my devness is really part of my daily life. 
As far as choices go, I really went out of my way to meet my ex-DA boyfriend, and I would've done it again had I had the opportunity. It could also have an influence in other areas in my life. Let's say I had to hire someone : between two people with similar work experience, I would chose the wheeler, of course. 

[kivic]

This IS a great poll!

I don't think I was aware of how much being a dev has influenced my life. Maybe it's because it's always been a part of who I am that it wasn't until I started to let go of my fear of "being found out" that I realized how big a role it has played in my development as a person.

I also think that maybe it's not just that it has influenced me but more that it IS just who I am, that my interests, my choice of career, choice of spouse, etc. IS not just about my sexual orientation, but that it is more about my core self which also contains my attractions. Idk, that sounds contradictory

So perhaps it's just that your attractions are just intertwined with your preference for salt and vinegar chips or beer or the colour green or sleek import cars or what size shoe you wear?

[Deleted]

It's always played a huge part in my life, even when I chose to ignore it. I think it's not only shaped my view on certain things, but it's also shaped my career, and now my life and my future. When I step back and look, I see how much it's influenced everything, but now I can see that it isn't actually everything. So I can honestly say now that it's not as big a role as it used to be.

[Deleted]

for me it comes in ups and downs, it's always a sexual / fantasy thing. sometimes I just can't get it out of my head.
great poll btw

[kayleexo]

When I first discovered the term "devotee" and found this community, I was on a crazy dev high...all my thoughts revolved around fantasies about disabled men, planning out in my head how I might be able to turn those fantasies into reality, googling and youtubing all sorts of devy things, etc. I think that high lasted for about 6 months, and now, I would say my dev side is still very much present but it's more of a hum in the background of my day-to-day life. I'm actually kind of relieved that my devness doesn't consume so much of my time/energy anymore...I think I would've gone legitimately nuts.

[Cake]

It depends on the dev-cycle, of course, but when I compare myself to the other replies in this thread, I would have to say it doesn't play a huge role in my life. I found it kind of difficult to choose from the poll options, because neither saying it's very important nor saying not important at all would hit the nail on the head. So I chose the "mainly sexual" option, cause that's what it is for me I think. Sure, being a dev influences some of my views, but beyond that? It's just what turns me on in a very particular way. In other words, without my devness, *I* would be different, but my life wouldn't, if that makes sense? I don't have a disabled partner, have never had one, don't work in a field even remotely related to disability, am not interested in disability sports, and so forth. The only area where my devness plays a big part is my fantasy world - at least that's how I think it is. And because the part of my personality that is linked to my devness is also the part that is linked to my anxiety and melancholy, it's not a part that I desire to make more room for in my life.

[lisa]

For the most time of my life, my devness was hiding in my subconsciousness. It has always been there, from early childhood on. When I moved out from my parents and started to think about my sexuality and my former relationships that had all been quite negative experiences I also started to give my devness more room. Couple of years later I joined PD and this has really changed my life. I wouldn't be who I am today without PD. My devness plays a major role in my life although if you would look at it from the outside you probably wouldn't be able to see a lot of it. I don't post a lot anymore because my focus has changed a bit for several reasons. First, I am no longer in a relationship with a member on here. But the more important reason is that after this relationship I feel as if I am in a much better position regarding my devness. I had the possibility to explore it to its depths, I know what turns me on and I more or less made a decision about on which level I want to include the devness in my everyday life. Being satisfied with the situation, having a partner who seems to be a great match for me and having people with who I can discuss devness and disability related stuff is enough for me for being happy. For the moment.

Nevertheless, everything that has happened before is still influencing my life, my decisions, my interests, my relationship to people who were involved. And I am sure there are devness triggering situations still waiting for me. And I'm looking forward to them! My devness isn't something I think about every hour of every day, but I am always aware that it is there in me and I don't try to keep it away from the surface anymore.

[strawberrybubblegum]

For me, as for a lot of you, it has always had ups and downs.

Before I realized it was a thing and came across the term dev and this forum it was ONLY on a sexual level. I would just fantasize or look up stuff online and then forget about it again until the next time.

Then, when I found this place and started chatting with PWDs I was on a huge dev high, something I've never experienced before. I would think about dev related stuff every day, all day.

Now that I've met a DA guy that I think I could really like and start something serious with, the dev high isn't as overwhelming anymore. It may be because I really like him for far more than just his disability or that he's a high quad and I'm definitely more attracted to paras (although I still find certain things about him devvy). Still, it's pretty exciting that my first dev experience is just around the corner as we'll be meeting in a few weeks.