motor
New Member
Posts: 26
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
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Post by motor on Mar 27, 2015 9:21:13 GMT -5
hey, I am new here so I thought I would start with telling a bit about myself. I live in Michigan, I was in a motorcycle accident about three years ago, now I am a T-7 para. I am 51 years old soon to be 52. I have only been in this chair for 3 years I am still learning the ins and outs of this life. I am married ( although my wife is really turned off by the paralysis ) she is getting tired of living with a cripple, " that chair is always in the way, it's so noisy, you have ANOTHER uti!" And don't get me started on the lack of a physical relationship. But anyway enough about that, I have 4 kids and 4 grand kids, they are the light of my world. I retired after 26 years with a major automotive parts company. I spend most of my time running errands and doing housework, yes I do drive, and quite well I might add. I enjoy working in the garage wrenching on anything with a motor, and I enjoy working in the yard, I have modified my lawn tractor with hand controls so I can mow the grass and pick up leaves. I also like to keep up on current news, I watch a lot of Fox News network,And car shows like fast and loud,and counting cars etc...I would love to find some female friends that could accept me the way I am. Maybe a little harmless flirting? But more importantly a female perspective on life and life with a pwd. If there are any devs out there that would like to know more, please ask. Nothing is off limits and I will be brutally honest. Thanks for reading my post.
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savannahgirl
Junior Member
Posts: 76
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Married/Domestic partnership
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Post by savannahgirl on Mar 27, 2015 10:56:24 GMT -5
First welcome to the board I think you'll enjoy the people on here. Second I've always hated the term "cripple." Reading your post you certainly don't sound crippled to me. I've known a lot of AB guys that don't do half of what you do. I don't think anyone on here is "crippled." Third, you're a good-looking guy and I'm sure many of the dev's on here will agree with that. You're in the right place for lady admirers.
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Post by jrm on Mar 27, 2015 13:10:21 GMT -5
Welcome to PD! I think you'll like it here.
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Post by JW on Mar 27, 2015 14:56:23 GMT -5
Welcome to PD, You have a very interesting story. I am sure you will enjoy your time on here.
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Post by matisse on Mar 27, 2015 15:17:58 GMT -5
Hmmmm, I have to say that if my wife said any of those things or made me feel bad in that way, I'd give her a big FUCK YOU and we'd be done: you think you can find someone else you'd be happier with? Go for it.
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Post by Dreamer5678 on Mar 27, 2015 16:39:21 GMT -5
Welcome
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Post by Kiran on Mar 27, 2015 16:40:17 GMT -5
Welcome!
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Post by lucretia on Mar 27, 2015 17:30:10 GMT -5
I'm also married to a wheeler and while shit happens and we do have our moments we have an agreement, which we discuss regularly, that we are not mean to each other on purpose.
We just had a great talk the other night about how we perceive criticism. We took a long time to find each other and we recognize while our relationship is not easy, we continually choose to be together.
I'm not saying get a divorce, but I'm WAY closer to Matisse's POV than not.
HOWEVER, I travel around to different chronic illness conferences and speak, and one thing I see too much of is learned helplessness. This places a HUGE burden on the other partner.
So without sitting down with both of you, I'm not quite where Matisse is just yet.
All that said, welcome.
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Post by lucretia on Mar 27, 2015 17:36:53 GMT -5
Also, if you want female perspective, start a thread with specific questions and most of us will be happy to answer.
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Post by matisse on Mar 27, 2015 18:22:14 GMT -5
I'm also married to a wheeler and while shit happens and we do have our moments we have an agreement, which we discuss regularly, that we are not mean to each other on purpose. We just had a great talk the other night about how we perceive criticism. We took a long time to find each other and we recognize while our relationship is not easy, we continually choose to be together. I'm not saying get a divorce, but I'm WAY closer to Matisse's POV than not. HOWEVER, I travel around to different chronic illness conferences and speak, and one thing I see too much of is learned helplessness. This places a HUGE burden on the other partner. So without sitting down with both of you, I'm not quite where Matisse is just yet. All that said, welcome. Yeah I guess I should have made the caveat that it's how I have felt for most of my adult life, but it wasn't always like that. As I've mentioned in other threads, there was a time early on in my transition to full cripple ;-) when the uncertainty of how I would manage led to an erosion in my confidence. And I let stuff slide that I wouldn't let slide now. Not direct stuff like described above, but more waffling type stuff. Women can smell weakness a mile away and that was her reaction to mine (emotional, not physical). Once I got things straight and it was clear I was not going to tolerate a lack of commitment, the waffling went away. I still get angry that I let any waffling at all occur, but I suppose things turned out fine and after all these years I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. So who knows what would have happened if I told her to fuck herself and just ended it without giving her a chance.
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Post by lucretia on Mar 27, 2015 18:57:10 GMT -5
First welcome to the board I think you'll enjoy the people on here. Second I've always hated the term "cripple." Reading your post you certainly don't sound crippled to me. I've known a lot of AB guys that don't do half of what you do. I don't think anyone on here is "crippled." Third, you're a good-looking guy and I'm sure many of the dev's on here will agree with that. You're in the right place for lady admirers. My hubby uses it all the time and I'm used to it.
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Post by rebel6842 on Mar 27, 2015 22:22:22 GMT -5
First of all, welcome... Next, I think you need to know that noone is SUGGESTING that you get a divorce. Only you can make that call-and the right/option is open to you should you choose to use it. But, you WILL find an extremely supportive group here, that if you need/want to flirt, vent, etc-the ladies here are all ears
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 28, 2015 0:28:01 GMT -5
Welcome to PD, how did you find out about this site/devs?
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Post by matisse on Mar 28, 2015 2:51:57 GMT -5
First of all, welcome... I think you need to know that noone is SUGGESTING that you get a divorce. No. Ok I didn't explicitly say it before, but I will say it now. GET A DIVORCE. If you are getting that shit 3 years in, its only going to get worse. Get out now. Most people, not one gender, both, can't handle the disability. Its not their fault, they just can't do it. 51, you have a decent shot if you are a nice guy and have benefits, and you go now. She is dragging you down. Let her go. Now. Women overlap, it's genetic, just like guys wanting to have fun with every hot girl. She is and has been looking for another guy. As soon as she finds one, she will dump you.
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Post by paulbe on Mar 28, 2015 3:17:51 GMT -5
Welcome.
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