|
|
Post by Maurine on May 26, 2015 13:27:30 GMT -5
I'm somewhere between "PWD Partner: Some, but I wish I felt more comfortable telling him more" and "PWD Partner: He knows almost everthing about my devness". I went for the former one.
I don't think he knows less than what I've told anyone else, personally or online. But still, there are two things I haven't explicitly shared with him yet. One of them wouldn't surprise him and in a way he knows. It's something I've only hinted at in front of fellow devs. The other thing I keep to myself isn't strictly part of my devness, but it's intertwined with it and very important to me. He knows of it, but no details (yet).
|
|
|
|
Post by kivic on May 26, 2015 14:51:14 GMT -5
Yes, same for me, between he knows some stuff but not everything. Also, I think it's hard no matter who you tell, AB or PWD. Would it be easier to tell at the beginning of a relationship or years into it?
|
|
|
|
Post by strawberrybubblegum on May 26, 2015 16:35:11 GMT -5
Like Inky, I'm not properly with someone right now and also it's the first PWD for me.
I told him from the start that I was a dev and he took it very well. At first we didn't talk about it a lot but it's something we talk about more and more. He's very accepting and I like sharing with him, but I also sometimes feel a little awkward when talking about it. Still, I try to be open about the dev stuff, as he is also very open with everything and he's also genuinely interested to learn more about me and my devness. I also feel more and more comfortable sharing. As we're still only getting to know each other, I chose "PWD Partner: Some, but I wish I felt more comfortable telling him more".
|
|
|
|
Post by eva on May 26, 2015 16:47:13 GMT -5
My AB partner doesn't know, at least, I don't think he does. When I'm reading or watching dev stuff on the computer, I just close the page if he comes by. I did forget once while I went to shower and left the PD Devotee Fiction homepage on, pretty explicit LOL Knowing him, I'm sure he read it. Still, I wouldn't talk about it with him, even if he asked I would lie. Naturally inclined not to tell, some of the stories I've read here about devs who tell their AB partner have definitely convinced me not to say anything.
On the other hand, I would definitely tell my boyfriend if he was disabled. Maybe not first thing, but very fast. And maybe not straight forward either. I would tell him I'm irresistibly attracted to his body, etc. but not mention that I'm a dev before he really knows me well. One drop at a time.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ximena on May 26, 2015 17:56:29 GMT -5
Until recently, I would have had to pick the second, rather than the first choice. I did tell my AB husband about my devness a couple years ago, and he was totally accepting. A little confused about it, but just in a, huh? kinda way. He couldn't understand why it was such a big deal (in the sense of why it was so hard for me to tell him) and I even let him read my commercial fiction. However, it has only been very recently that I shared In/Exhale with him, and talked to him about that, and that was really the final piece of the puzzle. That was really, really, hard for me, and I still regret it sometimes. Not that he's been mean or anything, but it's just such a deep part of me that it's hard. But overall I'm so glad I was finally able to talk to him and tell him all this. I'm naturally a very private person anyway, but I feel like my devness is such a huge part of me that keeping that back was just keeping too much of myself from him.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 27, 2015 1:13:49 GMT -5
I picked the first one and I am really glad about that, my AB husband booked my flight to the Dev Con in Vegas and he keeps up with the comments on the Story Blog on my story...he even just sorted all the pictures on my computer and was nice enough to leave all my hot wheeler pics or any of my dev pics...he also just watched "Waterdance" with me and, and, and...I am so glad I don't have to hide anything from him...
|
|
|
|
Post by kivic on May 27, 2015 10:49:11 GMT -5
Yes, same for me, between he knows some stuff but not everything. Also, I think it's hard no matter who you tell, AB or PWD. Would it be easier to tell at the beginning of a relationship or years into it? Well, I waited 15 years.... And I'd think it would be easier after being so settled into it. But nope. Ha! I waited 13 years to spill it, too! It was definitely a combination of fully understanding my own devness and being able to express it in terms that he could understand. So maybe more like coming to terms with it, seeing it equally as a part of my sexuality and just being okay with myself and my devness no matter what direction our relationship went after my confession. I think I'd be more forward in telling another partner about my devness earlier on, if it were to come to that. |
|
|
|
Post by Clair deLune on May 27, 2015 11:56:19 GMT -5
If I had a PWD partner, I'd be much more comfortable bringing it up.
My husband is AB, and he does know, but not because I told him, he just kinda... figured it out. He has left the door open many times for me to bring it up, and I don't, and I probably won't, ever. I'm not okay with discussing with my partner how something is always going to be "missing" from our sex life.
|
|
|
|
Post by lisa on Jun 10, 2015 13:28:17 GMT -5
I have an AB partner. He knew that I was a dev right from the beginning of our relationship. Nevertheless, I sometimes would want to tell him more than he already knows. He knows quite some things, especially since I am also doing stuff in my free time which would seem strange if he didn't know (watching movies with disabled characters, recently I went to a discussion about disability and sexuality, ...). And it's not because I don't feel comfortable telling him. It just doesn't come up that often and I don't want to be the one bringing it up all the time. I don't want to give him the feeling that he is less important/sexy/valuable to me than a disabled partner would be because that's really not the case. I'm not sure if he has these thoughts (probably not), but still, I don't want to give them room to grow.
|
|
|
|
Post by faith on Jun 11, 2015 4:07:20 GMT -5
I've never "told" him.... but he knows. In fact about 6 months ago I was telling him how hot he is and how I just can't keep my eyes off him and he said, "it's because your a devotee". I stopped what I was doing- looked right at him and said, "you never know. You just never know."
|
|
|
|
Post by strawberrybubblegum on Jun 11, 2015 4:40:05 GMT -5
I've never "told" him.... but he knows. In fact about 6 months ago I was telling him how hot he is and how I just can't keep my eyes off him and he said, "it's because your a devotee". I stopped what I was doing- looked right at him and said, "you never know. You just never know." Wow! Just wow. Only the fact that he knows about us devs and that he thinks/knows you're one... May I ask if you never intended on telling him or if you never feel the urge to do so? Because that would've been the perfect moment. |
|
|
|
Post by lisa on Jun 11, 2015 9:28:18 GMT -5
Oh, faith, do you know how he figured it out? Just by your general behaviour/character or is there anything in particular which led him that way? I would also be pretty afraid that my SO would find my dev books and stuff if he wouldn't know...
|
|
|
|
Post by paraxdreamer on Jun 22, 2015 5:50:31 GMT -5
My ex farther of my kids new everything!! He even used to fake para during sex ,he loved how turned on it maked me his feet were as soft as para feet because he walks abit at a funny angle so all his feet dont touch thr ground.
We were friends a long time before so i cant remember how we brought it up but he just saw it as one of my quarks it wasnt something imcould hide if we saw a wheeler while we were out id try not to look at the wheeler but it was hard lol, i wont tell the next partner i have if hes ab but im hoping to have a dis partner who i will be honest with.
|
|
|
|
Post by paraxdreamer on Jun 22, 2015 5:58:07 GMT -5
My AB partner doesn't know, at least, I don't think he does. When I'm reading or watching dev stuff on the computer, I just close the page if he comes by. I did forget once while I went to shower and left the PD Devotee Fiction homepage on, pretty explicit LOL Knowing him, I'm sure he read it. Still, I wouldn't talk about it with him, even if he asked I would lie. Naturally inclined not to tell, some of the stories I've read here about devs who tell their AB partner have definitely convinced me not to say anything. On the other hand, I would definitely tell my boyfriend if he was disabled. Maybe not first thing, but very fast. And maybe not straight forward either. I would tell him I'm irresistibly attracted to his body, etc. but not mention that I'm a dev before he really knows me well. One drop at a time. For me talking in the momment when we were about to have sex helped.. id say don't move your legs i loved to see his legs natural fluid movement from my movement he aftwewards asked why and some convo starred there, nothing to deep but id mention bits every now and again, but if you dont need any dev related stuff in that ab relationship i can see why you wouldnt mention it! |
|
|
|
Post by eva on Jun 22, 2015 7:57:26 GMT -5
My recent ex had very thin legs and that helped. This time, he's an ex-athlete, so doesn't help for my fantasies. I'm very often on top though, so that's cool  OTOH, like I said in the other thread about AB sex, faking doesn't do it for me. My first love was a para, so no fantasies can ever match that... I know what it's really like. I'd love it if I could get turned on by make-believe though |
|
OTOH, like I said in the other thread about AB sex, faking doesn't do it for me. My first love was a para, so no fantasies can ever match that... I know what it's really like. I'd love it if I could get turned on by make-believe though