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Post by Deleted on Aug 27, 2015 11:19:12 GMT -5
I was out with a few friends last weekend and the topic of sexual function came up. Those here that know me, know that I'm not shy and that ridiculous analogies are kind of my jam. I needed an explanation that wasn't too graphic but still give an accurate picture so I told her that my [insert penis euphemism here] was not unlike a vintage British sports car. It may not always start and there are usually some mechanical problems but when you do get it running, it's a total blast to drive. I'm not one of those guys that has a name for my good bits but I think the name "Aston Martin" is quite fitting. It's not too big and ostentatious but it handles well and will never really go out of style. Do we have any car collectors here?  |
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Post by Tek on Aug 27, 2015 11:45:35 GMT -5
Mines like a antique. Sittin under covers and collecting dust Surely you polish it once in a while! |
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Post by hartmannwrites on Aug 27, 2015 14:00:19 GMT -5
Do we have any car collectors here? Hmm. Vintage cars aren't really my jam. But... A '64 DB5? *drools* |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 27, 2015 14:09:54 GMT -5
Do we have any car collectors here? Hmm. Vintage cars aren't really my jam. But... A '64 DB5? *drools* I'm more like a DB9 1/2 Just kidding.  or  , depending on who you ask. |
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Post by hartmannwrites on Aug 27, 2015 14:22:48 GMT -5
One-77. Pearl white. Red leather interior. Thanks, Santa!  |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 27, 2015 14:42:14 GMT -5
No analogies about it only getting moving when you use the manual stick-shift as the automatic version doesn't really work for you anymore? Oh, the possibilities are endless. But as you know, I'm a gentleman. |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 27, 2015 15:03:37 GMT -5
They call me truck dick. The man with an 18-wheeler in his pants.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 27, 2015 15:09:41 GMT -5
They call me truck dick. The man with an 18-wheeler in his pants. Are you saying a special license is needed to drive? |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 27, 2015 15:36:49 GMT -5
Are you saying a special license is needed to drive? No, he's only happy when he has an overweight, gum chewing guy called Chuck controlling his semi. That made me giggle out loud! The truck dick rolls down the highway geeked out on meth for 48 hours, before passing out from exhaustion and dying in a fiery wreck. Isn't that how sex usually goes? |
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Post by wonk on Aug 28, 2015 7:18:38 GMT -5
That made me giggle out loud! The truck dick rolls down the highway geeked out on meth for 48 hours, before passing out from exhaustion and dying in a fiery wreck. Isn't that how sex usually goes? Um...no... I usually fumble around for 20 minutes revving the engine, getting hotter and hotter and more frustrated, before deciding that I'm never going to park that vehicle in the right place, giving up and abandoning it to go shopping instead. There is more than 1 available parking spot! |
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Post by gshotta on Sept 1, 2015 10:08:32 GMT -5
Lol this is a funny thread,but what about the other way reminds me of the song " you can't say c**t in Canada " u must no that one wonk.
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Post by wheelsfordays on Sept 1, 2015 10:16:21 GMT -5
One-77. Pearl white. Red leather interior. Thanks, Santa! On it. |
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Post by hartmannwrites on Sept 1, 2015 11:42:59 GMT -5
One-77. Pearl white. Red leather interior. Thanks, Santa! On it. *gasp* Santa's real!! Ooh. May I also get a handsome para for Christmas? Just a little stocking stuffer. Nothing fancy. |
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Post by kivic on Sept 1, 2015 18:26:22 GMT -5
Lol this is a funny thread,but what about the other way reminds me of the song " you can't say c**t in Canada " u must no that one wonk. Because it's considered pretty f**king rude. Beaver ftw! |
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Post by Inigo Montoya on Sept 1, 2015 19:32:29 GMT -5
Um...no... I usually fumble around for 20 minutes revving the engine, getting hotter and hotter and more frustrated, before deciding that I'm never going to park that vehicle in the right place, giving up and abandoning it to go shopping instead. There is more than 1 available parking spot! No! You can't park there. It's at the wrong end of a one way street. |
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or 
, depending on who you ask. 
