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Post by pam on Feb 11, 2019 8:17:29 GMT -5
I have a lot going on with a very sick mother at the moment. I am so overloaded in thought and actual physical work that I have not had any devvy dreams and it’s so frustrating. I am actually yearning for them as a comfort mechanism or coping strategy-whatever you call them...but my brain won’t go there while I am in this crisis situation regarding my mom 😔😔😢😩. Have any of you felt this way too? I am so missing the comfort of my quiet DEV dreams 🙁. My devy feelings went away when I was going through these type of things with my parents. They do come back though. |
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Post by Manda2212 on Feb 11, 2019 11:39:03 GMT -5
I have felt the lowest dev lull since becoming a mom. It has come back a bit at points but never back to its full glory. Dull indeed but also peaceful!
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Post by kivic on Feb 11, 2019 19:07:01 GMT -5
I have felt the lowest dev lull since becoming a mom. It has come back a bit at points but never back to its full glory. Dull indeed but also peaceful! I found my heightened dev mode came back when my youngest was around 4. I had a long, hard dry spell. Now I feel it waxes and wanes and is somewhat controlled by hormones/monthly cycle. |
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Post by devogirl on Feb 14, 2019 8:03:09 GMT -5
SouthernCalGal I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I know how you feel about missing the dev high--when I'm in the lowest dev low, it's like I can find no pleasure in anything. I'm so used to dev fantasies as a source of relaxation and pleasure I miss it when it doesn't work. But then when the high finally comes it's so exhausting and overwhelming. Surely there has to be a happy medium?
Low sex drive when you're stressed/depressed is normal. Take care of yourself and trust it will come back eventually.
Manda2212 My dev feelings went away almost entirely when my kids were babies. I also found it came back super strong when the kids turned four. |
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Post by SouthernCalGal on Mar 9, 2019 23:46:36 GMT -5
myrrh, it’s different for me-I feel it is so much of who I am integrally as a person-that my DEV feelings are my “normal” and are comforting in times of chaos. Hopefully, that makes some sense. Having just gone through a very difficult period, my DEV feelings have finally reimerged and it is grounding and comforting to me! It is something I can’t help and I really don’t see them going away!!!!
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Post by pam on Mar 9, 2019 23:55:03 GMT -5
myrrh, it’s different for me-I feel it is so much of who I am integrally as a person-that my DEV feelings are my “normal” and are comforting in times of chaos. Hopefully, that makes some sense. Having just gone through a very difficult period, my DEV feelings have finally reimerged and it is grounding and comforting to me! It is something I can’t help and I really don’t see them going away!!!! I think my dev feelings are "normal" too. Not that they aren't frustrating sometimes because I can't really act on them, but they are comforting and relaxing at the same time. I also dont think they will ever go away. They gave survived years of marriage to an AB and 3 kids and are still here! I wonder if I'm going to be 80 one day and still have dev feelings? |
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Post by Amee on Apr 1, 2019 15:19:33 GMT -5
Ever just kind of hope the low will keep going and your devness will just be... gone? I've been on a low for a while, and I know it's just a symptom of other factors in my life, but a significant part of me hopes that it can just sort of be a sneaky "cure." I feel exactly the same! My dev feelings have pretty much flatlined about two weeks after I joined here. For a few days I had kind of hoped that maybe this was a result of talking to so many PWDs, who pmed me - both talking about it to other people (which I had never done before) and kind of also realizing that finding a PWD I would be compatible with long-term is so unlikely, it might as well be impossible. But I realize now, that it coincided with a very stressfull time for me as well, so it's probably just that. But I do still hope that it could just go away one day. It would probably be a little sad as well. Moderate dev highs can be great and obviously, it's a part of me that I would lose in a way. But when dev highs get too intense, it's just exhausting. It's like a craving I know I can never satisfy. It would be an immense relief to get rid of that... |
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Post by pam on Apr 1, 2019 18:27:19 GMT -5
Ever just kind of hope the low will keep going and your devness will just be... gone? I've been on a low for a while, and I know it's just a symptom of other factors in my life, but a significant part of me hopes that it can just sort of be a sneaky "cure." I feel exactly the same! My dev feelings have pretty much flatlined about two weeks after I joined here. For a few days I had kind of hoped that maybe this was a result of talking to so many PWDs, who pmed me - both talking about it to other people (which I had never done before) and kind of also realizing that finding a PWD I would be compatible with long-term is so unlikely, it might as well be impossible. But I realize now, that it coincided with a very stressfull time for me as well, so it's probably just that. But I do still hope that it could just go away one day. It would probably be a little sad as well. Moderate dev highs can be great and obviously, it's a part of me that I would lose in a way. But when dev highs get too intense, it's just exhausting. It's like a craving I know I can never satisfy. It would be an immense relief to get rid of that... Amee I know what you mean when you say it's a craving that you can't satisfy. I feel that way also. I keep telling myself that my fantasies will just have to suffice, but I occasionally get depressed. Then it passes for a while. I dont want to completely lose my dev feelings, because my fantasies are very relaxing and often help me go to sleep. I just wish the depressing days would stop. Maybe one day they will. |
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Post by strawberrybubblegum on Nov 8, 2019 1:49:21 GMT -5
I’ve been on a dev low for the longest time now. I believe it even started back when I was still dating my PWD ex, which is over a year ago now.
After that I dated an AB and when we broke up, I went on Tinder, very well knowing (and not caring) that I would most probably only (or 99.9% of the time) find ABs there. I’ve been seeing someone from Tinder for about three months now. He’s AB as well.
And I don’t even really miss my devness. I still come here every day, but I don’t really care about the dis/dev topics anyway. I come here for the community mostly, like a lot of us. I don’t even post about my wheeler spottings anymore, I don’t even really care when I see a wheeler lately. The other day I saw a young wheeler in the supermarket and I didn’t even feel like the dev sign above my head popped up. I looked at him, probably one too many times, and when he caught me glancing, I didn’t even care. WTF?
Also, I have a lot of thoughts about starting a relationship with an AB and how my devness coming back (because I know it eventually will) will affect that. I remember how amazing it felt dev-wise with my wheeler ex, especially in the beginning, and I’m scared I’ll eventually need that again.
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Post by missparkle on Nov 8, 2019 4:01:28 GMT -5
I’ve been on a dev low for the longest time now. And I don’t even really miss my devness. I still come here every day, but I don’t really care about the dis/dev topics anyway. I come here for the community mostly, like a lot of us. I don’t even post about my wheeler spottings anymore, I don’t even really care when I see a wheeler lately. The other day I saw a young wheeler in the supermarket and I didn’t even feel like the dev sign above my head popped up. I looked at him, probably one too many times, and when he caught me glancing, I didn’t even care. WTF? I can very much relate to this, I felt absolutely the same recently. It came after brief affair with pwd and lasted for about year and half. I never had such a lull in my entire life, so long and so deep. As I already wrote in other thread, I felt huge relief, but I was also very curious, since it was something new for me, I've never experienced it in that range before. As you said, I was not even interested with pwd/dev babbling on the same subject over and over again, in circles, I found it awfully boring. To challenge my-dev-self, I even went on two dates with pwd locally, and although he seems like nice guy, pretty perfect "on the paper" and with my preferred disability, I felt absolutely no dev-thrill, I felt about the same as I would chatting with my grandmother! It made me even more curious, so I took a peak in here after looong time and it seemed pretty lively, I thought to jump-in again and participate in conversations cold-minded. That cold-mindedness didn't last for long. It must be for the sandwich!  |
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Post by lizzy on Nov 9, 2019 17:30:54 GMT -5
Welcome to my world!
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