katdob
New Member
Posts: 35
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
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Post by katdob on Dec 16, 2018 14:17:35 GMT -5
Would devs who are in relationships / married with AB have a fling with PWD to live out their fantasies or to control their dev desires?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2018 15:44:35 GMT -5
I would but my husband would know about it. He knows I am a dev, knows how that is for me and we opened our marriage because of it.
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Temptation
Dec 16, 2018 17:04:59 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by pam on Dec 16, 2018 17:04:59 GMT -5
Would be very tempting, but I dont think I could bring myself to cheat on my husband. I would feel too bad and too guilty.
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katdob
New Member
Posts: 35
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
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Temptation
Dec 16, 2018 19:32:07 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by katdob on Dec 16, 2018 19:32:07 GMT -5
I’m torn! I’d love to but it’s scsry st the same time.
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Temptation
Dec 16, 2018 20:24:31 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by pam on Dec 16, 2018 20:24:31 GMT -5
Yes, tempting but scary. It would be especially tempting if it was with someone you really like/care about. From what I remember, you aren't married, so it would be a little easier. You might even decide that you want a PWD as your partner.
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Post by kyliestarz on Dec 16, 2018 20:32:29 GMT -5
I don't thing fling is the right word for me, neither is cheated, but I did go on two secret dates with two PWDs - one a para and the other an unbelievable DAK. In both instances I got overwhelmed on the second date and abruptly ghosted them both, which is pretty incredible as both those injuries are what I'm most into and the idea of either is so surreal. And I'd fantasized about being in such a position for years...
But I've been with my AB SO for 7 years and we've built up a whole life, so the thought of risking it all, especially after I actually gone through with it and was sitting there on the date was just too much.
I couldn't throw everything away. Also, while we live in a very big city, I was so stressed about running into someone I knew. Also, both their personalities played a role in things not progressing to an affair or being intimate. They were looking for a relationships and didn't want to lead them on which further increased the heavyness. I told them I was single and didn't mention anything about being a devotee.
You add up all the stresses and they cancelled out any pleasure I could get out of it at the time. Though There are a few instances I still think about when I'm having devvy thoughts.
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jaymie
New Member
Married
Posts: 29
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Post by jaymie on Dec 16, 2018 21:56:49 GMT -5
Would just a fling or one night stand be enough would be my question? For some I would bet the fantasies consist of “relationship”situations and the evolution of a relationship.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2018 22:15:55 GMT -5
A fling would be my first goal, like a friends with benefits. That would have to be clear. I honestly feel my chances are very slim as the PWD has to tick all my boxes and also be okay with how I am and what I like sexually. My husband and I have had many discussions about this and one thing is clear for both of us, we would always be there for each other no matter what happens between us. I don't really want a relationship, I just want a play partner, so again, chances probably slim to none. I also can't move anywhere else, so more limitations. The guys who have ticked my boxes all live too far away. So I need to find someone here or just keep the fun online.
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Post by SouthernCalGal on Dec 16, 2018 22:25:50 GMT -5
Dani, you have an amazing situation!!
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Post by SouthernCalGal on Dec 16, 2018 22:27:12 GMT -5
katdob, UGH, that is such a loaded question!!!
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Post by SouthernCalGal on Dec 17, 2018 23:39:25 GMT -5
So katdob, I’ve been thinking about your question and my first response all day. This is very hard to think about and communicate. I will tell you this-my AB partner knows EVERYTHING about me EXCEPT “this.” Sometimes, I think I am already “cheating” because I am on this space, I have DEV dreams and always have - even before I met my SO. My mind drifts when I see a wheeler or when I am crushing on one. I feel guilty. I have never physically cheated but...what about mentally and emotionally? Haven’t most of us already done that?
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Post by TotalBias on Dec 18, 2018 0:13:09 GMT -5
No. I’ve tried being open in the past and it didn’t work out well for me. Even if my AB partner was ok with it, I wouldn’t want to. Same goes for if I was with a PWD. A threesome either way might be potentially nice though, but I’m pretty anti-hookup all the way around so these would have to be some pretty special circumstances.
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Post by pam on Dec 18, 2018 8:57:31 GMT -5
So katdob, I’ve been thinking about your question and my first response all day. This is very hard to think about and communicate. I will tell you this-my AB partner knows EVERYTHING about me EXCEPT “this.” Sometimes, I think I am already “cheating” because I am on this space, I have DEV dreams and always have - even before I met my SO. My mind drifts when I see a wheeler or when I am crushing on one. I feel guilty. I have never physically cheated but...what about mentally and emotionally? Haven’t most of us already done that? This is exactly what I think and feel.
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jaymie
New Member
Married
Posts: 29
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Post by jaymie on Dec 18, 2018 10:28:19 GMT -5
So I am married to a wheeler and I still fantasize about other disabled guys. I rarely find myself fantasizing about AB guys.
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Post by devogirl on Dec 18, 2018 20:28:40 GMT -5
I feel guilty. I have never physically cheated but...what about mentally and emotionally? Haven’t most of us already done that?
Don't feel guilty! There's no such thing as cheating mentally. It's only a problem if you are neglecting your partner, ignoring his needs or not being there for him. Everyone thinks about other people during sex--it's totally normal. Even the most vanilla people have their personal porno reel in their minds. If watching or reading something devvy, or seeing some hot guy turns you on and you channel that energy back into sex with your husband that you both enjoy, there's nothing wrong with that. And please don't tell yourself that posting here is a form of cheating. No! It's a form of self-care. Do you really think you could be a better partner if you denied and repressed your feelings, deleted your membership and did not allow yourself to participate? Eventually that self-denial turns into resentment, which is toxic to a relationship. Let go of the guilt and you will be a better partner.
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