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Post by Utahquad on Apr 10, 2019 18:56:27 GMT -5
I am generally friendly to everyone I meet. So my radar is always out, I'm just waiting to see one for myself. The rare and elusive SLC dev, one day…one day.
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Post by dave78 on May 31, 2019 22:51:21 GMT -5
And for you disabled bros out there, there's an easy mode for this: Take a good set of pictures, download Tinder and pay for the gold membership. You'll get to browse all the people that matched you, if you see someone interesting, you can match her back. If you've made your disability easy enough for people to notice, the chances are that the people who matched you will be fine enough with it. The algorithm works against us, and I don't like the idea of people running their business on people's loneliness and basic human needs, but it's what it is. Be nice, don't be cunts and don't try too hard. Edit: This works best in places with high population densities. If you live in a small village in Alaska, don't get your hopes up. I've been on Tinder for a while now and I've literally not once seen anyone with a visible disability on it. I do live within Tinder-distance of at least two large cities, so that shouldn't be the problem... I don't know if there are just very few PWDs on Tinder (which I would understand - Tinder sucks in a lot of ways), or if they're just not showing it. But yeah, for me, after a short while I just accepted that I'd have to go for AB guys. Never settle for a hamburger, when you could have a man in a wheelchair instead. I think that's how it goes. |
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Post by dave78 on May 31, 2019 23:31:49 GMT -5
Never settle for a hamburger, when you could have a man in a wheelchair instead. I think that's how it goes. That vegetarian thing is really weighing on your mind, huh? MY GOD YES! My point was somewhat solid though. A guy in a wheelchair (such as myself) has much better stories he could tell than some boring AB guy. |
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Post by sittingbull on Jun 9, 2019 5:33:55 GMT -5
And for you disabled bros out there, there's an easy mode for this: Take a good set of pictures, download Tinder and pay for the gold membership. You'll get to browse all the people that matched you, if you see someone interesting, you can match her back. If you've made your disability easy enough for people to notice, the chances are that the people who matched you will be fine enough with it. The algorithm works against us, and I don't like the idea of people running their business on people's loneliness and basic human needs, but it's what it is. Be nice, don't be cunts and don't try too hard. Edit: This works best in places with high population densities. If you live in a small village in Alaska, don't get your hopes up. I've been on Tinder for a while now and I've literally not once seen anyone with a visible disability on it. I do live within Tinder-distance of at least two large cities, so that shouldn't be the problem... I don't know if there are just very few PWDs on Tinder (which I would understand - Tinder sucks in a lot of ways), or if they're just not showing it. But yeah, for me, after a short while I just accepted that I'd have to go for AB guys. I've never been on Tinder and have to confess that I dont exactly know how it works, BUT for you I would create a profile to make you keeping up the hunt (; |
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expresso
Junior Member
NYC here -
Posts: 76
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by expresso on Oct 9, 2019 21:49:20 GMT -5
I would recommend buying them a beer, seems less painful than getting your foot run over haha BUT! If you're too shy to be as straightforward as beer-buying, feel free to wheel over my toes, haha
would you be in NYC by any chance - i will try to run them over  |
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Post by quadin91 on Oct 12, 2019 6:55:11 GMT -5
And for you disabled bros out there, there's an easy mode for this: Take a good set of pictures, download Tinder and pay for the gold membership. You'll get to browse all the people that matched you, if you see someone interesting, you can match her back. If you've made your disability easy enough for people to notice, the chances are that the people who matched you will be fine enough with it. The algorithm works against us, and I don't like the idea of people running their business on people's loneliness and basic human needs, but it's what it is. Be nice, don't be cunts and don't try too hard. Edit: This works best in places with high population densities. If you live in a small village in Alaska, don't get your hopes up. I've been on Tinder for a while now and I've literally not once seen anyone with a visible disability on it. I do live within Tinder-distance of at least two large cities, so that shouldn't be the problem... I don't know if there are just very few PWDs on Tinder (which I would understand - Tinder sucks in a lot of ways), or if they're just not showing it. But yeah, for me, after a short while I just accepted that I'd have to go for AB guys. I have put in the bottom of my profile I am looking for a DEV-eloping relationship still waiting to see what's going to happen |
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Post by linda on Oct 12, 2019 12:57:20 GMT -5
I've been on Tinder for a while now and I've literally not once seen anyone with a visible disability on it. I do live within Tinder-distance of at least two large cities, so that shouldn't be the problem... I don't know if there are just very few PWDs on Tinder (which I would understand - Tinder sucks in a lot of ways), or if they're just not showing it. But yeah, for me, after a short while I just accepted that I'd have to go for AB guys. I have put in the bottom of my profile I am looking for a DEV-eloping relationship still waiting to see what's going to happen I had put „PWD friendly“ in my profile when I was still searching. It was a German site and since I had written it in English, I am not sure how many people were familiar with the term. I had done it on purpose because I couldn’t think of a German term and I didn’t want to present myself as a dev too openly. But I am not sure how many devs are actually aware of the term. I haven’t known about it until I found PD even though I kind of knew all my life. Still I like DEV-eloping a lot since I always love playing with language. Good luck to you, quadin91. You look very sharp. I‘m sure the dev that finds you will be a lucky one. |
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Post by quadin91 on Oct 12, 2019 14:53:14 GMT -5
I have put in the bottom of my profile I am looking for a DEV-eloping relationship still waiting to see what's going to happen I had put „PWD friendly“ in my profile when I was still searching. It was a German site and since I had written it in English, I am not sure how many people were familiar with the term. I had done it on purpose because I couldn’t think of a German term and I didn’t want to present myself as a dev too openly. But I am not sure how many devs are actually aware of the term. I haven’t known about it until I found PD even though I kind of knew all my life. Still I like DEV-eloping a lot since I always love playing with language. Good luck to you, quadin91. You look very sharp. I‘m sure the dev that finds you will be a lucky one. I agree playing with words can be great fun. Thanks Linda! although I must admit it was for my sister's wedding that is not my usual attire. |
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Post by cilantro on Oct 12, 2019 15:05:36 GMT -5
Please don't deny your sharpness. |
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zackamp
Junior Member
Posts: 59
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by zackamp on Oct 16, 2019 16:19:42 GMT -5
I'm super friendly and outgoing. I'll literally grab a beer or coffe with ANYONE and have. However I can't possibly ask every able bodied person I see if they are a dev... But if a dev asked me... Coffee time. So dear devs, please just ask! If the pwd is not into it might mean a second of embarrassment for you (who cares), but if they are woooo hoooo. Please just ask!
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erikajulia
Full Member
Posts: 155
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by erikajulia on Oct 20, 2019 12:37:33 GMT -5
Or If you're feeling particularly dramatic, just dive in front of them. Or swoon, swooning's better.  That is such a nice idea! Seriously, how romantic would that be! That would be a total start for a book or a movie for devs. Haven’t thought of that yet, but thanks for the wonderful idea! I would try to swoon right onto his lap though instead of getting rolled over completely, don’t you think? Even though the latter would probably be the more dramatic scenario, but I would always chose romanticness (is there such word? I‘m not a native speaker...) over drama. But that‘s step two. First I need to find the place to meet that guy. Where are all the cute paras from Middle Germany? No one around here, I guess... I am just imagining... swooning would probably not work or all of us. I'd sink down in front of the hot blind guy - just to have his guide-dog carefully lead him around me - or have him poke his cane into my ribs... there's not much romance in this. Middle Germany has quite a lot of hot guys in wheelchairs, in my opinion. Only not enough blind guys walking the streets and crossing my path. ;-)
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 28, 2019 13:38:42 GMT -5
This is an interesting topic - what makes a dev approach a PwD and how does this differ from nondevs attraction to PwD?
In my experience, as a manual wheelchair user since the age of 13, women are most interested in talking to me when 1) they know me socially, or have heard of me through friends 2) we flirt at a party or over time and then eventually move towards sex. I’ve never had an experience of a “devotee” approaching me and stating or implying attraction to my disability specifically.
It seems hard to distinguish that - a direct attraction to visible disability - when so much of sex and flirtation and human connection generally exists in those flitting moments of contact (eye contact, touching someone gently and without aggression on the arm or hand or waist, sitting close beside someone, brushing a girls hair behind their ear) that are often more personal than anything else.
As a disabled guy people either assume I can’t fuck or that I don’t fuck and obviously the implication is that I’m (just like Lady Macbeth...) “unsexed” while also “hypersexual.” In other words: desperate for the thing I’m not assumed to be able to perform.
I find this means I have to show people my interest and sexuality first, whether by smiling or flirting or making eye contact or just putting the damn tinder profile up and seeing who messages me.
I’d be curious to know how other pwd communicate their sexuality, and how deva communicate their specific attraction. I apologize if I’ve mischaracterized devotee traits, I’ve been told it’s much more than sexual attraction, but I also think that sex should be openly embraced and talked about and have no qualms with kinks or fetishes generally.
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Post by feelsunshine on Oct 28, 2019 17:35:57 GMT -5
I’d be curious to know how other pwd communicate their sexuality, and how deva communicate their specific attraction. I apologize if I’ve mischaracterized devotee traits, I’ve been told it’s much more than sexual attraction, but I also think that sex should be openly embraced and talked about and have no qualms with kinks or fetishes generally. As for you mentioned tinder: I recently deleted the two dating app accounts I had on my phone. Except for one German disability dating site, I don’t have any accounts left. However in all of these, I basically said that I don’t mind ♿️ - the thing that has to work is mind/brain. On the disability dating site I state openly that I would love to find a paraplegic. It took me a while (talking about two years) to state it that openly. Before, I just had a note saying something like “I don’t have a physical disability but I wouldn’t mind my partner to have one. The important part that needs to work is brains and mind though”, which is basically still true but “looking for a para” definitely makes it more specific. |
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Post by SouthernCalGal on Oct 30, 2019 17:14:13 GMT -5
I tend to think that if a PWD is aware of devs and they catch my initial reaction, they will know.
The grocery store para I talk about on PD-I think he knows that I am into men who utilize chairs. I say this just because of several interactions we have had in the grocery store have appeared so deliberate on both ends. And, when he asked me to help him with something once-I almost passed out LOL 😝😂.
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Post by feelsunshine on Oct 31, 2019 12:26:40 GMT -5
I tend to think that if a PWD is aware of devs and they catch my initial reaction, they will know. The grocery store para I talk about on PD-I think he knows that I am into men who utilize chairs. I say this just because of several interactions we have had in the grocery store have appeared so deliberate on both ends. And, when he asked me to help him with something once-I almost passed out LOL 😝😂. I haven't been really online here in a few days and I realize that I'm catching up on a few interesting posts. SouthernCalGal, that's really something. I would probably pass out too if I was asked this question by a cute wheeler. I can only imagine.... And then, please let him have stuff in his cart like toast, frozen meals and beer instead of baby-food or anything that could make me assume he has wife and kids already. |
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