Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 22, 2019 15:26:59 GMT -5
welcome
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erikajulia
Full Member
Posts: 155
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by erikajulia on Jun 3, 2019 8:44:34 GMT -5
before today I had never heard of the term 'devotee' … and it absolutely blows my mind! I look forward to exploring the forums! *g* That's a nice approach.
I heard the term the first time while studying special education, in a class about "disability and sexuality". The term (and the term amelo, along with wanabees) was used with utmost contempt and disgust, and the few scientific articles that dealt with the topic were referring to devotees mainly (near to only) as obsessed fetishists who reduced the female pwds to simple sex-objects, and the male pwds to eiter that or to objects of distorted care. Literature stated the (mostly male) devotees either felt themselves weak and needed a weak partner to feel big and whole, or they were sadists, who felt arousal at first hurting, then comforting the partner, but being somehow twisted they skipped the first part and directly went to the comforting part. There were also references to (mostly male) devotees who matched the picture and were not interested in real long-term partnerships, but only in pictures or strange one-night-stands, collecting amputated women like butterflies on pins.
And I sat in that class next to a very cute and intelligent and funny (and older) co-student with severe visual impairment, and he chimed in with the tenor of those articles, and stated how very repulsed he would be if someone told him his being nearly blind was sexy in a way - and I made myself small and nearly ceased breathing, watched his enormously well-groomed fingers glide over his papers (and wondered how they might feel on my skin), adored his wide, un-stilted smile (and wished it was directed at me), his carefully measured movements (he always knew where he was and where he was going, I never witnessed him walking into something, whereas up to today I bump into the doorway at least once a week, and my vision is acute...), adored how he concentrated on the contributions of the other students, much more than the sighted students did (dreamed of this concentration being focused on me) - and felt dirty. Needless to say I never approached him. Well, he had a girlfriend at that time, so I would not have approached him (at least not that way) anyhow, but I did not dare it later, when he was solo, either.
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Post by mike on Jun 3, 2019 9:39:51 GMT -5
erikajulia, what you were told about the motivations of devs was just plain silly. Suppose someone told you that all blondes hated cauliflower? You would probably assume they were crazy, stupid or both. Humans are way too complex to simply ascribe some motivation to an attraction. We're all attracted to different things for different reasons, and it's simply not as simple as a choice you might make. In fairness there are so few self-proclaimed devs around that it makes a scientific study difficult, but you can make some assumptions from human nature. 1. Everybody is different. 2. Things you don't understand aren't inherently evil. 3. ASSUMING someone else's motivation is speculative at best. It would probably be safe to speculate that dating an ax-murderer is unsafe, but last I checked few devs are actually ax-murderers. My guess is that if you asked 10 devs why they found some things attractive, you would be lucky to only get 27 different answers, and most would be wrong. The fact is that few people understand why we are attracted to certain things, we simply either are or not, and even at that we change from day to day. Think of common attractors, like eye color. Would you fall in love with someone simply because they had your favorite eye color? That's pretty unlikely, no matter how much you like that particular eye color. But IF eye color alone was enough, although that might imply a simple personality, it wouldn't imply evil intent would it?
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Post by turbo234 on Jun 3, 2019 10:11:25 GMT -5
erikajulia , what you were told about the motivations of devs was just plain silly. Suppose someone told you that all blondes hated cauliflower? You would probably assume they were crazy, stupid or both. Humans are way too complex to simply ascribe some motivation to an attraction. We're all attracted to different things for different reasons, and it's simply not as simple as a choice you might make. In fairness there are so few self-proclaimed devs around that it makes a scientific study difficult, but you can make some assumptions from human nature. 1. Everybody is different. 2. Things you don't understand aren't inherently evil. 3. ASSUMING someone else's motivation is speculative at best. It would probably be safe to speculate that dating an ax-murderer is unsafe, but last I checked few devs are actually ax-murderers. My guess is that if you asked 10 devs why they found some things attractive, you would be lucky to only get 27 different answers, and most would be wrong. The fact is that few people understand why we are attracted to certain things, we simply either are or not, and even at that we change from day to day. Think of common attractors, like eye color. Would you fall in love with someone simply because they had your favorite eye color? That's pretty unlikely, no matter how much you like that particular eye color. But IF eye color alone was enough, although that might imply a simple personality, it wouldn't imply evil intent would it?
Totally agree mike but put a redhead in front of me and I find myself instantly falling for her
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erikajulia
Full Member
Posts: 155
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by erikajulia on Jun 3, 2019 10:58:36 GMT -5
erikajulia , what you were told about the motivations of devs was just plain silly. Suppose someone told you that all blondes hated cauliflower? You would probably assume they were crazy, stupid or both. Humans are way too complex to simply ascribe some motivation to an attraction. We're all attracted to different things for different reasons, and it's simply not as simple as a choice you might make. In fairness there are so few self-proclaimed devs around that it makes a scientific study difficult, but you can make some assumptions from human nature. 1. Everybody is different. 2. Things you don't understand aren't inherently evil. 3. ASSUMING someone else's motivation is speculative at best. It would probably be safe to speculate that dating an ax-murderer is unsafe, but last I checked few devs are actually ax-murderers. My guess is that if you asked 10 devs why they found some things attractive, you would be lucky to only get 27 different answers, and most would be wrong. The fact is that few people understand why we are attracted to certain things, we simply either are or not, and even at that we change from day to day. Think of common attractors, like eye color. Would you fall in love with someone simply because they had your favorite eye color? That's pretty unlikely, no matter how much you like that particular eye color. But IF eye color alone was enough, although that might imply a simple personality, it wouldn't imply evil intent would it? mike thank you! That is - more or less - what I thought then and still think, but at that time the "scientific literature" was different, and they had all the "bad examples" documented in gruesome details (sorry, the example is in German, but for those who still would want to have a look: www.handicap.de/?name=News&file=print&sid=19 ), and so "everybody else" - was horrified (and I was horrified by what the science defined as "standard Amelotatist" and would not have wanted to be put in that same category of mostly creepy lechers). So there was no outing possible then. And later... I made friends (and friends only) easily within the pwd at university, men and women alike, I was not afraid of "them being different" as so many others were. But I never ever told someone. A female friend of mine (she was only about one meter high) once spent quite some money in erotic photos of herself being taken - and showed them to me, if there was one suitable to give to the man she was in love with (I later became her maid of honor), and when I simply stated that I was more than a bit sorry I was not gay, and that these were fantastic photos (they were, the photographer was talented and had done a great job, and no, they were no porn!), she said that everybody else, including her parents, thought them weird and exhibitionist, and she had been devastated and nearly decided to burn them. She looked at me somehow sideways while I told her that she was wonderful the way she was, and that the photos were quite a piece of art... I nearly told her then, but did not find the guts. Another time was when she introduced her husband to be to us girls - and afterwards she listened to our mutual friends tell her why and how he "was a bad idea" - and then she turned to me - and I told her she needed not to hear about his severely short expectation of life from me again (that was long ago, I was quite young and at that point thought to build a relationship to someone deep enough to marry him, knowing that the time together wold be short, might (!) be something so hard that it should be considered carefully) - and then I asked the others if they had seen him smile, listened to what he said and how, his great sense of humor, his likes and dislikes in music, the way he maneuvered his chair and moved his beautiful hands... and when the others were gone some time later, I asked her if his hands (he was an artisan with wood) were as skilled and beautiful on her as on his materials... I think she understood my "orientation" quite well then, for she laughed and said: "Well, he is mine!". But I never ever put my interests in clear words in real life.
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