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Post by feelsunshine on Oct 22, 2019 8:31:23 GMT -5
. The most recent act of kindness from strangers had me in stitches on the floor...I was in Berlin on a business trip and he came with me. We took the manual chair which meant he had only limited mobility on his own. He was checking out a bakery/coffee shop around the corner from the hotel, decided it was too difficult to get in and decided to go somewhere else. He must have looked in the window too longingly, because the shop owner came running after him and gave him a bag full of bread rolls and pretzels, probably thinking the poor wheelchair users was homeless and hungry... That’s cute, creepy and nonsense all together crapped in one.. Good thing is you guys had free food and that even without any made-up story about the disability... (referring to the thread „lies“)
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bananaleaf
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Post by bananaleaf on Oct 22, 2019 9:26:04 GMT -5
My dad is blind (has been since birth) and we always laugh about people who violently try to help him. For example people who try to literally “get on the right path“. Like he’ll be on his way to work and someone will just pull him by his backpack and try to get him to walk on these dotted guidance parts on the ground.
I think I’m general people mean well but they are so unfamiliar with PWDs and so overwhelmed by the situation that they don’t really think if that person needs help in the first place 😅 But nobody has asked to pray for him so far, haha
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Post by Dr. BiPAP Sachin on Oct 22, 2019 10:17:42 GMT -5
Uhm... are you guys serious about headpat? I mean do seriously people pat you on the head .... like one would do it to a child or something? I'm so sorry to hear that, that just shows how stupid people are. I had no idea. That's a gesture that would have never come up to my mind. Well lets say in a situation where you would put your hand on somebody's shoulder for encouragement or something, I would never think of taking the head instead. For sexual interaction or cuddling that's different, I like to touch the head, but this just as a side note, we were not talking about that LOL. Yes, we are serious. I wouldn't have a problem if my parents or potential gf patted me affectionately on the head, but if it were any other stranger (including those claiming to be "religious") then all hell would break loose.
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Post by Amee on Oct 22, 2019 10:46:41 GMT -5
I'm somewhat on the fence about this topic To me personally, saying that to random strangers feels extremely intrusive and assumptive. We pass countless strangers every day and deciding on something as superficial as a disability that someone is in need of prayer more than all the other strangers you pass, just seems silly and presumptuous. That said, my grandmother is a person, who talks to strangers on the street all the time. She sometimes smiles at people in a weird, uncomfortable, blatant way for a really long time and often says things that can be considered somewhat inappropriate. If she was a very religious person, I'm sure she would tell people that she would pray for them... And she's an absolutely lovely and well-meaning human being. She's just a somehwat weird old lady, who has been living alone for a little too long. So I could imagine that there are some people, who really mean well when they say that and don't realize how rude/inappropriate they're being. There may also be some PWDs, who might not mind such an offer/interaction. As for dealing with a situation like that... I always find it really nice (and in a guy attractive), when people deal with situations like that graciously, with a little bit of kindness and patience. But depending on the situation and the way it is said (and your own mood), I also understand that sometimes "fuck right off" is the way to go
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 22, 2019 11:28:48 GMT -5
I'm somewhat on the fence about this topic To me personally, saying that to random strangers feels extremely intrusive and assumptive. We pass countless strangers every day and deciding on something as superficial as a disability that someone is in need of prayer more than all the other strangers you pass, just seems silly and presumptuous. As for dealing with a situation like that... I always find it really nice (and in a guy attractive), when people deal with situations like that graciously, with a little bit of kindness and patience. But depending on the situation and the way it is said (and your own mood), I also understand that sometimes "fuck right off" is the way to go I have to so agree with those two paragraphs AmeeFirst one about only using disabled folks for prayer or well wishing when there are so many people in this world who need kindness and assistance. People we meet every day who are not well or down on luck could use some assistance or just simply kindness toward them. Second one you really hit the spot for me as well about finding it attractive when a guy is kind. That also ties into the "lies" thread I think and it is one of the things that somehow affected my opinion on that topic. I find it very attractive if a guy is kind and patient and I guess the "lies" thread seemed to display not so much of those traits and that's what rubbed me the wrong way a bit. I really think a lot about why I feel the way I feel about something, trying to analyze myself and this is one of those things I wasn't aware of until you wrote it here, the kindness and patience a guy would display when answering or replying to a question that is otherwise annoying to them.
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loreley
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Post by loreley on Oct 22, 2019 12:06:56 GMT -5
I'm somewhat on the fence about this topic To me personally, saying that to random strangers feels extremely intrusive and assumptive. We pass countless strangers every day and deciding on something as superficial as a disability that someone is in need of prayer more than all the other strangers you pass, just seems silly and presumptuous. As for dealing with a situation like that... I always find it really nice (and in a guy attractive), when people deal with situations like that graciously, with a little bit of kindness and patience. But depending on the situation and the way it is said (and your own mood), I also understand that sometimes "fuck right off" is the way to go I have to so agree with those two paragraphs Amee First one about only using disabled folks for prayer or well wishing when there are so many people in this world who need kindness and assistance. People we meet every day who are not well or down on luck could use some assistance or just simply kindness toward them. Second one you really hit the spot for me as well about finding it attractive when a guy is kind. That also ties into the "lies" thread I think and it is one of the things that somehow affected my opinion on that topic. I find it very attractive if a guy is kind and patient and I guess the "lies" thread seemed to display not so much of those traits and that's what rubbed me the wrong way a bit. I really think a lot about why I feel the way I feel about something, trying to analyze myself and this is one of those things I wasn't aware of until you wrote it here, the kindness and patience a guy would display when answering or replying to a question that is otherwise annoying to them. Amee and Dani, I can so relate to what you two have said! I think one of the traits that immediately attracted me to my partner was the grace and gentle kindness he displayed even in rather awkward situations. He has progressive MS and due to his work has a wide network of friends and colleagues, several of whom only see him occasionally and so some were truly shocked when they saw him in a wheelchair for the first time and made rather upsetting comments.
He is so easy-going and accepting of his disability and makes it so easy for everyone meeting him, saying that people are just uncomfortable and clumsy,but mean well and should be treated with respect. We often joke about some awkward situations in retrospection (people pitying him, people wishing me lots of strength etc.) and after the incident with the bread roll bag he was given, he suggested I put him on the street corner with a cup and pick him up after work and see how much he has collected.
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Post by Nate on Oct 22, 2019 12:13:55 GMT -5
The most recent act of kindness from strangers had me in stitches on the floor...I was in Berlin on a business trip and he came with me. We took the manual chair which meant he had only limited mobility on his own. He was checking out a bakery/coffee shop around the corner from the hotel, decided it was too difficult to get in and decided to go somewhere else. He must have looked in the window too longingly, because the shop owner came running after him and gave him a bag full of bread rolls and pretzels, probably thinking the poor wheelchair users was homeless and hungry... I should try peering longingly into a Gamestop; maybe I'll get a free copy of Sekiro.
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Post by Nate on Oct 22, 2019 12:23:38 GMT -5
To me personally, saying that to random strangers feels extremely intrusive and assumptive. We pass countless strangers every day and deciding on something as superficial as a disability that someone is in need of prayer more than all the other strangers you pass, just seems silly and presumptuous. I would beg to differ.
I always count my strangers. This morning, from the time I left for a doctor's appointment to when I got home, I passed 347 unfamiliar or otherwise odd people.
Y'all seem to think I've got a lot going on up here. <taps forehead>
Well, now you know.
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blindLeap
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Post by blindLeap on Oct 23, 2019 2:50:41 GMT -5
heh bananaleaf that story is so very relatable. I get grabbed by the arm or shoulder or whatever other bodypart or attachment is in reach and either steered somewhere, halted in my tracks or any other of goals I will never understand the logic behind. I have a name for people who try too hard to help people who never asked for it, I refer to these as Karma Hunters who still need to get their good deed for the day in. That might offend some sensibilities, sorry about that :-) It's a term my mind came up with one day and it sort of stuck with me :-)
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zackamp
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Post by zackamp on Oct 24, 2019 15:34:16 GMT -5
So the last time... I got cornered in a Superstore parking lot, time before that the same... Finished getting groceries and was putting them into my car minding my own business. It wasn't busy so it scarred the shit out of me when two guys were suddenly IN my personal bubble... it felt like they had snuck up on me. It didn't make me much more comfortable when they said they were going to pray for me, but not being mugged is ALWAYS a positive. They prayed that I would walk again, which I found odd because I wasn't using a wheelchair and had been walking using my prosthetics. When they were done I explained that I could already walk and that I could also run, bike, ski and hike, I asked them if they ran, biked, skied or hiked (suggesting that my life was perhaps more adventurous and active than their lives were, by the look of them, and that I was quite pleased with things just the way they were) they were perhaps feeling a bit silly at this point by looks on their face so I took mercy upon them and said that since I could already do all the things they had already prayed for if they wouldn't mind praying for my legs and arm to grow back. This request unfortunately made them visibly uncomfortable but they did oblige me, albeit begrudgingly, and with some degree of awkwardness. I thanked them and asked what church they went to so I could come thank them when my limbs had grown back. They couldn't leave fast enough... If you're going to corner me in a parking lot with this shit... game on...
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Post by LaMara on Oct 24, 2019 16:08:17 GMT -5
So the last time... I got cornered in a Superstore parking lot, time before that the same... Finished getting groceries and was putting them into my car minding my own business. It wasn't busy so it scarred the shit out of me when two guys were suddenly IN my personal bubble... it felt like they had snuck up on me. It didn't make me much more comfortable when they said they were going to pray for me, but not being mugged is ALWAYS a positive. They prayed that I would walk again, which I found odd because I wasn't using a wheelchair and had been walking using my prosthetics. When they were done I explained that I could already walk and that I could also run, bike, ski and hike, I asked them if they ran, biked, skied or hiked (suggesting that my life was perhaps more adventurous and active than their lives were, by the look of them, and that I was quite pleased with things just the way they were) they were perhaps feeling a bit silly at this point by looks on their face so I took mercy upon them and said that since I could already do all the things they had already prayed for if they wouldn't mind praying for my legs and arm to grow back. This request unfortunately made them visibly uncomfortable but they did oblige me, albeit begrudgingly, and with some degree of awkwardness. I thanked them and asked what church they went to so I could come thank them when my limbs had grown back. They couldn't leave fast enough... If you're going to corner me in a parking lot with this shit... game on... I’m trying to figure out the logic of praying for someone “to walk again” as they are walking right in that moment and all I could come up with is, they don’t give a flipping s**t about you, your health, your happiness. You’re just an instrument to make them feel good about their own piety. The first disabled stranger they see is gonna be good enough for them. If they were just dumb but good hearted it would be kinda cute, but sneaking up on someone like that is creepy and the intentions questionable. I hope one day someone pepper sprays them.
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zackamp
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Post by zackamp on Oct 24, 2019 17:06:19 GMT -5
So the last time... I got cornered in a Superstore parking lot, time before that the same... Finished getting groceries and was putting them into my car minding my own business. It wasn't busy so it scarred the shit out of me when two guys were suddenly IN my personal bubble... it felt like they had snuck up on me. It didn't make me much more comfortable when they said they were going to pray for me, but not being mugged is ALWAYS a positive. They prayed that I would walk again, which I found odd because I wasn't using a wheelchair and had been walking using my prosthetics. When they were done I explained that I could already walk and that I could also run, bike, ski and hike, I asked them if they ran, biked, skied or hiked (suggesting that my life was perhaps more adventurous and active than their lives were, by the look of them, and that I was quite pleased with things just the way they were) they were perhaps feeling a bit silly at this point by looks on their face so I took mercy upon them and said that since I could already do all the things they had already prayed for if they wouldn't mind praying for my legs and arm to grow back. This request unfortunately made them visibly uncomfortable but they did oblige me, albeit begrudgingly, and with some degree of awkwardness. I thanked them and asked what church they went to so I could come thank them when my limbs had grown back. They couldn't leave fast enough... If you're going to corner me in a parking lot with this shit... game on... I’m trying to figure out the logic of praying for someone “to walk again” as they are walking right in that moment and all I could come up with is, they don’t give a flipping s**t about you, your health, your happiness. You’re just an instrument to make them feel good about their own piety. The first disabled stranger they see is gonna be good enough for them. If they were just dumb but good hearted it would be kinda cute, but sneaking up on someone like that is creepy and the intentions questionable. I hope one day someone pepper sprays them. Couldn't agree more LaMaria. I didn't pepper spray them (if I had pepper spray...) but I think I confused and humiliated them... Hopefully this will make them think twice about the next PWD they encounter (doubtful). And for the record I'm not even anti-religious. I have a great deal of respect for people who mind their own damn business religious or otherwise.
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blindLeap
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Post by blindLeap on Oct 25, 2019 4:12:28 GMT -5
If someone is not even polite enough to ask, but just states they are going to pray for me, I am going to not be nice and tell them that they are going to be getting out of my way, or else I am going to be rather vexed wit h them. Asking is one thing, just shoving forward without a by your leave and I become a whole lot less friendly.
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tylerthehut
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Post by tylerthehut on Dec 7, 2019 23:07:15 GMT -5
It does not bother me at all. Generally, regardless of what words come out of someone's mouth, I take it at simply what I think their intentions were. Let's say someone makes some stupid joke like "I see you brought your own seat to the baseball game" definitely a pretty stupid question but it may have been difficult for that person to even muster up enough courage to talk to someone who is different than they are. I generally think people are just trying their best to be nice and that is enough for me.
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Post by FlyingBert on Dec 8, 2019 21:10:18 GMT -5
Just say: "I'm Jesus".
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