Are disabled people more approachable?

[Deleted]

This is more of an open question to everyone, but here goes.

I literally can't go anywhere without some randomer smiling and saying hello to me. It's usually older people, but yeah. I'm assuming it's the kind of "good deed for the day/christian thing" to do.

Teenage me hated it. Now me is just like "eh whatever" it's sometimes a minor annoyance when I'm in a hurry and don't have time. I get slightly irked when I have headphones in and people interrupt the incredible intro of "Beneath the deep green sea" just to say hello.

My friends have commented on the phenomenon, so it can't just be me?

Are PWD just easy to approach?

[robbb]

For me, and I suspect for most devs, no. I often wish I could approach a cute PWD guy in the hope that he may be gay and interested but I get all tongue tied, self conscious and weak at the knees.

R.

[Deleted]

I honestly think you should be more confident

[missparkle]

It is an interesting question.

I believe that in most cases ab people are clumsy and really don't know how to behave around pwd, so there are two extremes. "Ignore, don't stare" and "Be exaggeratedly polite".

I personally wouldn't consider it more approachable, but my wheeler friend had similar thought recently, saying ab people, only if they want, can always find excuse to approach pwd.

[Deleted]

Yeah. I guess it's a more casual approach. I used to try look really miserable as a teen. It didn't work though.

I guess at the end of the day people are curious. I always get asked why I walk the way I do whenever I meet someone new.

[Amee]

Dec 6, 2019 18:34:45 GMT -5 missparkle said:

I believe that in most cases ab people are clumsy and really don't know how to behave around pwd, so there are two extremes. "Ignore, don't stare" and "Be exaggeratedly polite".

I personally wouldn't consider it more approachable [...]

Agreed! It's even harder, when you're a dev and scared to be "found out" by looking at them in any suspicious way - like too interested or too friendly. I've spent half my life, trying to steer away from those two extremes and finding some "normal" middle.
Recently, I've noticed that I manage to care much less and just smile brightly at them, if I feel like it  Unless I have a bad hair day... then I'll hide my face in shame.
Oh, and I'd probably never randomly talk to someone Still way too shy for that...

[Deleted]

I learnt the art of small talk working in retail... I'd serve someone cute once and then longingly wish they'd come through my checkout the next week.

The reality was I'd end up serving this lady who really struggled with walking and weight bearing. I'm "the only one" who could pack her bags. She cried the day I left....

Small talk is an art. But a "Hello" or "Good morning" is easy for most, and that's what I have to deal with. I've tested certain things like:

Looking busy on my phone

Looking in a hurry

Resting bitch face

And staring at the floor

Doesn't help

[raindrop]

Just wondering why you don’t want people to say hello to you?
I really don’t understand why it’s an issue.

[wheelyreal]

I think for the most part we are no more, nor less, approachable than anyone else.
personally I'm very approachable, but that's because i'm handsome and my bright smile can be harvested for solar energy.

[Deleted]

What I notice is that people tend to remember me because I might be the only person in a wheelchair that they encounter in a day. I’m complete shit with names so I always feel like an ass because they’ll greet me by name and I have no idea what theirs is. They’re like the 100th AB dude I’ve encountered that day and don’t stand out (there’s a pun in there that I'm too lazy to flesh out).

[Braced4Impact]

I have...what is the male-equivalent of "resting bitch face?" Anyway, I have that, so people don't approach me much. Which is fine by me, lol.

[quietriot]

If interacting with strangers, I don't know if there's a big difference other than people talking to companions that I'm out with more than me. If it's my regular grocery store/coffee shop/etc...I feel that people talk to me pretty easily. I have a friend who shops with me a lot at a store where everone recognizes us, and she reports that when she goes alone, no one says a word to her.

[Sir Paul]

I wish more people (besides older ladies) would do this to me! I'm all for random chit chat with strangers. It's easy to spot the people that want to say something, but are too hesitant to pull the trigger. Kinda bums me out. I always say something to the curious kids though. 9 out of 10 times they seem relieved and it dawns on them that I'm a regular person that just looks different. I love that!

[wheelzoffortune]

I never really thought about this, but perhaps you are right.

People love telling me their problems for some reason. I'm not sure if that has to do with the chair or what.

[pam]

Dec 6, 2019 18:34:45 GMT -5 missparkle said:

It is an interesting question.

I believe that in most cases ab people are clumsy and really don't know how to behave around pwd, so there are two extremes. "Ignore, don't stare" and "Be exaggeratedly polite" br]
I
.

My whole life I have gone with the "ignore, dont stare" option. Since I've joined PD I have learned that this is not the best option, but when you have social anxiety sometimes you just cant help it. I have gotten to the point where I can smile though, if not say anything.