brinzerdecalli
Full Member
I hope to encounter some interesting and uniquely minded people.
Posts: 217
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by brinzerdecalli on Dec 17, 2019 15:11:04 GMT -5
I agree to large degree, linda but please note I am on the demi spectrum, which just means I really don't understand the "any hole will do" mindset many men seem to share and I get shamed for that all too often. haha I'm not crazy smart, just come off that way sometimes [and often even pretentious] because I tend to write in a more flowery and creative way, but I do have trouble dating people with a whole other tendency when it comes to dynamics of expression. If my attempts to flirt just goes over someone's head, it just isn't that fun, but really, average college level intelligence is all it takes to relate to someone, and IRL I am a bit easier to understand. haha
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Post by indelible on Dec 17, 2019 15:26:42 GMT -5
I agree to large degree, linda but please note I am on the demi spectrum, which just means I really don't understand the "any hole will do" mindset many men seem to share and I get shamed for that all too often. haha I'm not crazy smart, just come off that way sometimes [and often even pretentious] because I tend to write in a more flowery and creative way, but I do have trouble dating people with a whole other tendency when it comes to dynamics of expression. If my attempts to flirt just goes over someone's head, it just isn't that fun, but really, average college level intelligence is all it takes to relate to someone, and IRL I am a bit easier to understand. haha I believe the correct term is “any port in a storm”. 😜
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manicpixiememegirl
Full Member
Posts: 112
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by manicpixiememegirl on Dec 17, 2019 15:38:17 GMT -5
I agree to large degree, linda but please note I am on the demi spectrum, which just means I really don't understand the "any hole will do" mindset many men seem to share and I get shamed for that all too often. haha I'm not crazy smart, just come off that way sometimes [and often even pretentious] because I tend to write in a more flowery and creative way, but I do have trouble dating people with a whole other tendency when it comes to dynamics of expression. If my attempts to flirt just goes over someone's head, it just isn't that fun, but really, average college level intelligence is all it takes to relate to someone, and IRL I am a bit easier to understand. haha I believe the correct term is “any port in a storm”. 😜 I always heard it was "any hole is a goal"
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Post by SouthernCalGal on Dec 17, 2019 15:43:40 GMT -5
missparkle , my daughter was very similar to your niece when she was young - very, very much the same. I've written about it in the Devs Only section. I was convinced she was a dev in the making but now that she is older, I am unsure. However, I would pick up on so many behaviors that she exhibited and as she got older, she would even spot a wheeler before me. By the time I would catch on, I'd look over at her and she would have a certain reaction that I knew was dev-like. Also, she can spot a deaf person miles away if sign language is being utilized. Come to think about it, she recently mentioned she wanted to look into sign language classes. She had a fascination at 4 and 5 with the movie the depicted the life of Helen Keller. She would watch it over and over again. Definitely, she showed a preoccupation with disability. Dev? The jury is still out. I've broached the subject with her a bit. I asked her if she would ever date a person with a disability and she casually said, "yes, of course." Time will tell.
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Post by Amee on Dec 17, 2019 15:54:50 GMT -5
Haha missparkle , I had to google all those terms as well Here's what I found to spare others the trouble: sapiosexual = finding intelligence sexually attractive or arousing demisexual = person, who does not experience sexual attraction to another person unless or until they have formed an emotional connection with that person BBW = big beautiful woman BHM = big handsome man You're welcome! Amee , you’re fantastic! I‘ve seen sooo many people referring to themselves as sapiosexual! I think it’s ridiculous and nothing but an invention of people who like to appear as especially smart, even relating their sexuality to intelligence. I don’t think there is one person in the world who finds dumbness especially appealing. Not in a sexual way, nor in any other. It’s just normal that you want to be with someone who is at least at your own level. Haha, linda yes, I've always been extremely suspicious of that term, too! I've seen people on Tinder describe themselves as sapiosexual, which was particularly ironic to me I wouldn't bet my life on it that some extreme cases of people just being sexually attracted to intellect don't exist (which might warrant some kind of label), but I'm also pretty sure the vast majority of people who use that term are just being pretentious. And you're fantastic too, but you already know that!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 17, 2019 16:09:08 GMT -5
I believe the correct term is “any port in a storm”. 😜 I always heard it was "any hole is a goal" Or as they say in the Navy, “There is no wrong hole.” That’s not mine, that’s from George Carlin. 😊
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Post by myrrh on Dec 18, 2019 2:41:57 GMT -5
I agree to large degree, linda but please note I am on the demi spectrum, which just means I really don't understand the "any hole will do" mindset many men seem to share and I get shamed for that all too often. haha I'm not crazy smart, just come off that way sometimes [and often even pretentious] because I tend to write in a more flowery and creative way, but I do have trouble dating people with a whole other tendency when it comes to dynamics of expression. If my attempts to flirt just goes over someone's head, it just isn't that fun, but really, average college level intelligence is all it takes to relate to someone, and IRL I am a bit easier to understand. haha If "any hole will do" is a prevalent mindset among the men you associate with, maybe the issue is that you're hanging out with guys who don't have two brain cells to rub together. That would also solve the mystery of your flowery prose not sticking the landing. On a more serious note, I haven't found this shallow mindset to be the case at all, except maybe among guys with neck tattoos and a drug habit. Perpetuating the idea that men are shallow and not looking for emotional connection is unfounded, and is also extremely unhelpful to both men and women. I'll spare y'all the long rant, because the harm of gender stereotypes is my third favorite thing to rant about (see the Mexican/Brazilian/Scottish dev thread for Subject Numero Dos,) but consider this the high-fructose condensed version: desiring emotional, intellectual, and physical compatibility is not only reasonable, it's also normal for both women and men. My experience as an adult of dating age in a large American metro has taught me that flippant hookup culture is restricted to shitty TV shows, and the 2% of the population that grew up with Friends as their only role model. We can trip over ourselves to accurately label/catalog all of our little quirks, but I find that sort of thing incredibly navel-gazing to the point of being a hindrance to personal growth. It's just not productive to over-define things, because then language becomes a barrier rather than a facilitator... Not too different from what we're seeing it in this thread with trying to debate how much dev would a devo dev, if a devotee could dev wood.
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