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Post by ayla on Jan 25, 2023 14:28:48 GMT -5
As a dev, do you find yourself "drawn to imperfections" in other areas of your life? I do. I tend to prefer the vase with the chip or the hand-painted item with a smudge over the factory-perfect counterparts. The unusual mixed breed dog over the purebred standard. The patched and repaired jacket or bag. As a kid I always wanted to take home the broken toys from the store or charity shop (my parents even used this to help me become more assertive, by telling me if I wanted it I could ask the sales clerk for a discount). I like graffiti, I like kintsugi pottery, I like antiques and old houses that "have character." I like broken-in boots and distressed jeans. Heck I even started liking my car better after it got a few dings! When something has no apparent flaws I find it somewhat boring. I don't know if this is just my personal taste or if it's related to being a dev. Do you feel the same? Maybe even some of the pwd here have developed a taste for the "flawed" too?
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lyon11
New Member
Posts: 35 
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by lyon11 on Jan 27, 2023 11:43:37 GMT -5
I think it's just personal taste, I also like antiques and old houses, I usually go slower where I know there are, to be able to admire them. As for the car, I prefer it without flaws and with the least amount of bumps, perhaps because it gives me the security of being able to leave without fear of staying on the road.
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Post by lilyinblossom on Jan 27, 2023 13:58:38 GMT -5
No, for me it has been quite the opposite. I don't consider myself a perfectionist when it to comes to being hard on myself or get upset when things don't happen as expected but I've always have an appreciation for everything that works properly.
When you talked about broken toys, as a kid I would only play with broken toys if they were perfect before and got broken by me after playing a lot. Until now I have a taste for the new and for things I'll be the first to open the package and wear.
Handmade art/ stuff are only special when made by someone special. I have some old stuff (forniture, jewelry, books, etc.) which belonged to my grandma and I keep that as a way to keep her memory with me. However I don't usually have a taste for old and customized things.
Ironically, I am a dev. I attribute my devness to my curiosity to understand why things don't work the way it should do. When I grew up and started being romantically attracted to men, my curiosity triggered a thought about why disabled guys cannot be desirable or why they have women only admiring their minds and not their physical appearance. So a proccess started: firstly I normalized things, then my attraction began and since then my attraction gets higher and higher over time.
But it's restricted to my love life. I don't experience this openess to find beauty in imperfection in general.
It can really be related to your devness.
Our devness can be experiecied and expressed in different ways.
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Post by Braced4Impact on Jan 27, 2023 14:18:23 GMT -5
As a dev, do you find yourself "drawn to imperfections" in other areas of your life? I do. I tend to prefer the vase with the chip or the hand-painted item with a smudge over the factory-perfect counterparts. The unusual mixed breed dog over the purebred standard. The patched and repaired jacket or bag. As a kid I always wanted to take home the broken toys from the store or charity shop (my parents even used this to help me become more assertive, by telling me if I wanted it I could ask the sales clerk for a discount). I like graffiti, I like kintsugi pottery, I like antiques and old houses that "have character." I like broken-in boots and distressed jeans. Heck I even started liking my car better after it got a few dings! When something has no apparent flaws I find it somewhat boring. I don't know if this is just my personal taste or if it's related to being a dev. Do you feel the same? Maybe even some of the pwd here have developed a taste for the "flawed" too? There's a Japanese art called kintsugi where pottery is broken and mended with gold, as the imperfections, like life, add more beauty and intrigue to the vase and the person. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kintsugi
Also a song that covers this in a way.
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Post by lisa on Jan 28, 2023 3:20:29 GMT -5
I have been asking myself this question from time to time, especially because I often use the explanation of being attracted to unusual bodies when somebody asks about my devness. But I think it really stops at bodies here. I have no problem at all with imperfect elements in life, but I'm not actively seeking them out, I'd say (except maybe that I enjoy natural stuff much more than artificial, but that might be a different thing).
But what I've noticed is that apart from the specific devness triggers, I also enjoy other body imperfections very much that wouldn't usually be part of my dev list. And sometimes this is quite surprising for me too. For example unusual scars ("normal" ones don't really do anything), or body parts that have an unusual shape.
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Post by blueskye101 on Jan 28, 2023 20:44:45 GMT -5
As a dev, do you find yourself "drawn to imperfections" in other areas of your life? I do. I tend to prefer the vase with the chip or the hand-painted item with a smudge over the factory-perfect counterparts. The unusual mixed breed dog over the purebred standard. The patched and repaired jacket or bag. As a kid I always wanted to take home the broken toys from the store or charity shop (my parents even used this to help me become more assertive, by telling me if I wanted it I could ask the sales clerk for a discount). I like graffiti, I like kintsugi pottery, I like antiques and old houses that "have character." I like broken-in boots and distressed jeans. Heck I even started liking my car better after it got a few dings! When something has no apparent flaws I find it somewhat boring. I don't know if this is just my personal taste or if it's related to being a dev. Do you feel the same? Maybe even some of the pwd here have developed a taste for the "flawed" too? Very much the same here but have no idea if related to my devness. I enjoy the history of antiques, old houses, architecture. Love the idea of kintsugi pottery. Collect 30’s 40’s pottery for years. Love the quality and the imperfections |
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choicetomake
New Member
Posts: 6
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
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Post by choicetomake on Feb 13, 2023 14:21:04 GMT -5
This may be a weird one, but music. I have always enjoyed live music and I think it's because of the imperfections. The human element. I love recordings with lower production refinements because I want to hear the little nuances. Bands that maybe played a part too fast, or a voice break, or hitting the wrong string on a guitar all add to the passion and romance of music for me. It's hard to explain.
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Post by Braced4Impact on Feb 13, 2023 14:40:40 GMT -5
This may be a weird one, but music. I have always enjoyed live music and I think it's because of the imperfections. The human element. I love recordings with lower production refinements because I want to hear the little nuances. Bands that maybe played a part too fast, or a voice break, or hitting the wrong string on a guitar all add to the passion and romance of music for me. It's hard to explain. Good point. I think that's why I'm not as big of a fan of a lot of modern music today. Too polished. Too computerized. |
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Post by ayla on Feb 14, 2023 12:51:40 GMT -5
 Imperfections show how we’ve engaged with life. Our bodies aren’t factory standard and pristine. |
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Post by Dani on Feb 14, 2023 17:45:53 GMT -5
Yeah, I can totally relate to the original post. I like things with character and somehow with a history or a story. When you wrote about the houses ayla I can so relate. I find cookie-cutter housing horrible for example. I get claustrophobia just looking at those developments. And yes, my stuff and house is put together of lots of things that are not perfect and I don't care about material perfectionism. I have a mix of all different things, I don't like the sterility or lack of character of places or things. I'm usually not a fan of mainstream stuff/things... |
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Post by sungod on Feb 16, 2023 12:02:21 GMT -5
Imperfections show how we’ve engaged with life. Our bodies aren’t factory standard and pristine. This makes me feel like I got maximum utility from my body during life. I left nothing on the table. |
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Post by ayla on Feb 16, 2023 14:14:53 GMT -5
sungod, I'd say that's the goal! Well done :)
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Post by Armus on Feb 16, 2023 19:06:16 GMT -5
my left tibia is all bent to shit from 34 years of breaking it over and over, and an ex of mine (not a dev) once compared it to the scene in the matrix where neo bends the spoon. from then on she always called it my "melty spoon leg". i stopped obsessing over how hammerfucked my body is a long time ago, but that was very cute and i liked it a lot.
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Figur
New Member
"I've led a life full of shame."
Posts: 13
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by Figur on Feb 17, 2023 10:57:29 GMT -5
As a kid I always wanted to take home the broken toys from the store or charity shop I'm sure it wasn't your intentition but this felt like a personal attack. Good to know I'm a broken toy and this is a charity case 🤣 |
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Post by ayla on Feb 17, 2023 11:18:53 GMT -5
As a kid I always wanted to take home the broken toys from the store or charity shop I'm sure it wasn't your intentition but this felt like a personal attack. Good to know I'm a broken toy and this is a charity case 🤣 That's interesting that you automatically assumed I wanted to take those broken toys home because I felt bad for them, or was taking pity on them. No, my whole point is that those were the ones I preferred over the brand new ones at the store or the mint condition ones at the charity shop. |
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