ben
New Member
Posts: 3
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled
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Post by ben on Mar 30, 2024 22:56:32 GMT -5
B is probably the most accurate for me. I try not to see my disability as a negative. I was born with it so it is all I have ever known. It can be a lot to deal with, yes. But I do not like it when people feel sad for me. Recognizing that aspects of my life are hard because of my disability, on the other hand, I always thought that was kind, but please don't feel sad.
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denna
New Member
Posts: 14
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
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Post by denna on Apr 2, 2024 15:15:51 GMT -5
I've had three stages. Before I knew much about disability I would feel pity or sad about PWDs partially because I witnessed how other people reacted to them which was so different from how I felt toward them.
Then I learned more about disability from reading articles and listening to podcasts by disability activists who mostly write from the perspective that disability is not a bad thing and not something to feel sorry about. This feeling continued when I casually dated some PWDs.
It wasn't until becoming in a serious relationship with a PWD that it makes me sad again. It depends a lot on the person, but it can be really hard mentally and physically to have so many daily difficulties, frequent pain, and much of your life that is unknown and out of your control. I also didn't realize how many secondary health issues there are with some disabilities. Sometimes it can seem daunting to have to deal with all the added inconvenience of the disability and to know it's never going to change. Most days might be good days and there are lots of rewarding experiences and more often than not the disability isn't an issue, but it is certainly not an easy life in any way, and I never fully appreciated that until essentially living next to it.
So yeah, it makes me sad sometimes, sometimes very sad, but it never makes me think it's not worth it. There are good aspects to life with a disability or with a disabled person. It can also be nicer to feel alternately happy and sad than to feel nothing. An easy life isn't necessarily a fulfilling one.
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Post by dutchdev on Apr 3, 2024 2:41:16 GMT -5
I think the difference is understandable, justified and directed compassion and acknowledgment that some parts of live are hard (er) for PWD versus seeing a random PWD in the street and just feeling sad for his live. The first is no different than acknowledging parts of the live of a single mom is hard or someone working minimum wage or someone experiencing racism or .... The later is implying their existence is sad.
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Sadness
Apr 6, 2024 15:11:33 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Amee on Apr 6, 2024 15:11:33 GMT -5
I've had three stages. Before I knew much about disability I would feel pity or sad about PWDs partially because I witnessed how other people reacted to them which was so different from how I felt toward them. Then I learned more about disability from reading articles and listening to podcasts by disability activists who mostly write from the perspective that disability is not a bad thing and not something to feel sorry about. This feeling continued when I casually dated some PWDs. It wasn't until becoming in a serious relationship with a PWD that it makes me sad again. It depends a lot on the person, but it can be really hard mentally and physically to have so many daily difficulties, frequent pain, and much of your life that is unknown and out of your control. I also didn't realize how many secondary health issues there are with some disabilities. Sometimes it can seem daunting to have to deal with all the added inconvenience of the disability and to know it's never going to change. Most days might be good days and there are lots of rewarding experiences and more often than not the disability isn't an issue, but it is certainly not an easy life in any way, and I never fully appreciated that until essentially living next to it. So yeah, it makes me sad sometimes, sometimes very sad, but it never makes me think it's not worth it. There are good aspects to life with a disability or with a disabled person. It can also be nicer to feel alternately happy and sad than to feel nothing. An easy life isn't necessarily a fulfilling one. Your second and third stage are 100% how I felt and am feeling. Not sure if I skipped the first one or just can't remember it.
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