jakeonwheels
Junior Member
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Posts: 81
Gender: Trans
Dev Status: Disabled
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by jakeonwheels on May 11, 2024 22:00:05 GMT -5
I can’t speak to your experience but I can say how you come across to me. It isn’t welling in self pity, you sound tired and annoyed for just reasons while seeming to combat the very issues as best as you can. I don’t think most devs consider this place celebrating disability or in any way denying the very real issues you face. I think we just celebrate body positivity, variety and the fact that being attracted to that variety is okay. My only hope is you can get out of the rut or talk to a psychologist about it, because unfortunately we can not change the world around us (as easily) but we can control our response to it. Thanks. I am for sure not trying to wallow, I just feel a little lost as to what to do next. I've just had a really tough couple of years that was like injury, recovery, injury, hospitalization and GF broke up with me bc my medial stuff was too much for her. I don't want to be a wallower but things were just really hard and painful, and I know that the healthy thing is to deal with and process those feelings, but it's really hard. Especially as a few other fellas have pointed out it can feel emasculating. And while I don't prescribe to most gender roles being the man and the one who does stuff for the woman is somethin I can't quite shake. I'll let men bring me grapes in bed all day long but I feel guilty when it comes to women I guess. I want to get over that because I don't want my interactions with people to be tainted bc of my baggage. I am working hard on it in therapy and. making progress but sometimes It juts feels like the "when will ice better" feeling is so STRON. and I don't even know what better means for me. it's very confhsing. But I just try my best. :/
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scarletfire
New Member
Posts: 22
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
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Post by scarletfire on May 16, 2024 23:17:21 GMT -5
Thank you for posting your thoughts. It's helpful for understanding. What is being "whole new worlded?"
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aiden
New Member
Posts: 46
Dev Status: Disabled
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Post by aiden on May 17, 2024 2:21:04 GMT -5
My main access to outside has always been through sweethearts but I see now that that's not sustainable bc I just end up being "Whole New Worlded" by them and the isolated again when the relationship ends. I think he's referencing Aladdin and the song "A Whole New World" - his main access of getting out of the house and going places was through ex's helping him... aka taking him on "magic carpet rides" jakeonwheels pls correct me if im wrong dude lol
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jakeonwheels
Junior Member
![*](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/stars/star.png)
Posts: 81
Gender: Trans
Dev Status: Disabled
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by jakeonwheels on May 17, 2024 13:01:25 GMT -5
Nailed it!
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goldemsr
New Member
Looking forward to making connections! :)
Posts: 39
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by goldemsr on Jun 12, 2024 16:06:53 GMT -5
Do you guys ever feel these things? I know everyone in every community has the ability to feel these things but when I talk about it with other people they don't really get it, like the disability specific part of it. Like, I have friends but I can't do what they do, I can't be part of their all day parties and go dancing and stuff with them. But I'm always invited to boardgames night and DND so I feel like I should feel included and happy that I have friends but sometimes it just makes me even more depressed. Especially when I need help from them. I'm like, hosting things at my house bc mine's the one with the ramps and all of my equipment there and it's just easier for everyone to come to me but then they're helping me and doing my dishes, and it makes me feel loved but it also makes me feel like shit. It's hard to leave the house bc, I just don't know where to go. Like where is wheelchair accessible. Where the sidewalks are not torn up by roots that I can't get over. I'm a really social person but bc of disability, and inability to work I don't get to have social interactions ALL day. And everyone comes home and they're tired and I get it but I'm sad about it. My main access to outside has always been through sweethearts but I see now that that's not sustainable bc I just end up being "Whole New Worlded" by them and the isolated again when the relationship ends. SO I'm trying to build community, friends, a support network that will take me places with them, but I can always see people weighing is Jake's access needs and presence worth the work. It feels shitty. I hate needing help. I hate feeling so unbalanced and sad and angry and depressed right now. And so much of it has directly to do with being disabled. Maybe it's antithetical to be like: hey guys I feel depressed and sad and angry about the thing we're supposed to celebrating and enjoying here, but I just don't. I want to but I don't. I know exactly, what you're saying, man! Seeing your loved ones tired hits hard.
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