Bondage

[Dee Dee]

Jan 9, 2010 17:49:52 GMT -5 lucretia said:

panty hose work, but the cheap nylon ones CAN be painful... I had an ex who used silk neckties... they worked nicely.

That´s because nylon is basically just plastic - no, let´s go for silk instead - hmm, I once knew someone, who had a whole drawer full of silk ties ... I suddenly see that in a whole new light ... ;D.

... and thanks to DevoGirl for always being so rational (when the rest of us go totally silly) and for always being ready to give pieces of advice .

[Neffie]

Actually I found a site that does hotel kits specifically for clandestine encounters. Two velcro handcuffs on a bit of elastic you can loop under any bed in a hotel. Someone out there's thinking of me.

Also looking into it there are swings and belts. I don't know how many of you have been with wheelers but these seem like they would be brilliant obviously depending on the level of injury.
www.lovehoney.co.uk is an amazing resource. It offers so much.

I find a lot of this so exciting because like you said so much of it is about talking and I never had that with a guy before so all of this stuff is suddenly thrown open and it's unreal.

[Neffie]

Planning, talking...its all great but I have to say the actual execution of all this stuff is going to be awesome.
On another point...again, don't know if you know but I've been looking into tantric stuff. A bit new age for me to be honest but apparently they have some fantastic tantric head massages that could work really well for Quads.
I don't know but I think that's the beauty of trying something new. Tantric stuff is all about the experience: candles, tunes, incense but mainly just breathing....the way they see it is that your sexual energy is cooped up in you and when you release it it's a waste.
So the idea is to keep that inside you for as long as possible. So essentially you get taken to the brink and left there whilst all the time your partner is sharing it with you.

One of the main practices of tantric sex is when you face one another and as he breathes out you breathe in and vice versa....it's meant to bond you and as you can understand no limbs are required for this...just breathing (not sure how that would work with a vent but I'm sure it could)
The point is to have eye contact and to share a breath....it's something that can be done without sexual gymnastics...

[Neffie]

there's one therapist that does it (where else?) in the Netherlands and she's worked out a technique on a Quad patient with head and neck massage.

There's very few articles out there to be honest about the benefits but when you look at the main sites it doesn't take a genius to adapt the moves to suit a para and it's the closest I ever came to finding a definitive way to pleasure a paraplegic.

Seriously most websites just say "talk to the guy" or "let him pleasure you" or worst case scenario they start going on about pills and injections. Fair enough but I don't want any man to have a plunger put in his urethra for me...I'll make do thanks!

Anyway I found this article on tantric sex and it rocks...ok it's not for the impatient and could take a long time but the thought is that with the right partner you can achieve a full body orgasm. That goes for the paras/quads too.

This Dutch woman seems to think that if you play enough enya and stare at them enough then anything is possible and who am I to argue?

[BA]

From bondage to tantra - Is that like from "ow" to "om"? I do seriously have a book on tantric sex and if I recall I got a bit cross-eyed reading it. Something to the effect of putting his lingam near my yoni.....

[Neffie]

women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationships/article6912760.ece

nsrc.sfsu.edu/article/users_guide_paralyzed_penis_sex_after_spinal_cord_injury


The first article is just mainstream but gives you an idea into what we're talking about.

The second one is one of the best I have found online and the comment board is brilliant. I think most sort of say the same and that girls should just give up the ghost. I don't ashere to that theory. I think paras and quads can feel pleasure in the parts of the body that they can feel.
I don't think I'm being naiive but with the right partner and enough Enya and hot baths anyone can get their rocks off

[Neffie]

ow to om indeed! I'll take it all!!

[Neffie]

Kudos to you all because let's face it any dev worth the name should explore every avenue and see what's out there.
I really think the research is lacking. Maybe I'm on my own in this but there is no advice out there.

[devogirl]

Jan 10, 2010 12:52:45 GMT -5 Neffie said:

Also looking into it there are swings and belts. I don't know how many of you have been with wheelers but these seem like they would be brilliant obviously depending on the level of injury.

I tried a swing with an incomplete quad, but it was mostly a waste. First, it was the kind with a bolt in the ceiling, it was a huge pain the ass to install the bolt. Second, it was impossible for him to get into it. We hung it just a few inches above the bed, but even so, there was no way either of us could get him up into it. So I used it but it didn't really do anything for either of us. In the end it was too much of a hassle so we stopped using it. It was a huge waste of money in the end.

[Neffie]

I looked everywhere on the emoticon grid and there wasn't a face that just looked deflated.

I'll try to keep an open mind when it comes to my own experiences but your feedback is great.
You had an incomplete Quad in a sex swing??
You got nothing?
Christ!
You're a stronger woman than me.

[devogirl]

Ha ha, no, we never could get him into the swing, that was the problem. I got into the swing myself a few times, with him lying flat on the bed, but it didn't really increase my mobility at all. I would say don't bother with the kind that attaches to the ceiling. There are other kinds that sit in a metal frame but I imagine those would also be hard to transfer into, because there's nothing stable for him to grab onto. Sorry to be a downer but the swing is not really ideal, unless you have two other people to help lift him into it, or he has a pretty high level of function.

Also FYI while I'm bursting your bubble and issuing warnings, be careful with risky transfers in general, especially if he's bigger than you or in a position that makes it hard to lift him. You don't want to have to call the fire dept to extract him from your bathtub. It's easy to get in a tub, but much harder to get out. I'm sure the guys reading this now are thinking "But I know my limits, I can take care of myself" and I'm sure that's true, but the sight of a naked beckoning dev can inspire some bad decisions. I never had to call 911 but we had some close calls.

[Neffie]

well you're obviously a gal who knows her stuff devogirl.
I gotta say the swing intrigues me but then I would be in it, not him.
sounds hilarious to be fair and it's a pipe dream at best. I think I'll settle for some furry handcuffs, an outfit and a few shots of teqila