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Post by ruthmadison on Jan 10, 2011 21:20:54 GMT -5
I don't know what they think... that's not the reason... but I just deleted my profile from there. I think I'm just gonna give. I don't have the energy and fortitude to throw at it and... f*ck it. I shall shred that particular dream card. I think going to those websites just makes me feel more hopeless and depressed. It starts feeling like such a needle in a haystack. I'll keep the profile up, but I don't intend to pay much attention to it. I always feel happier and more secure with myself when I'm not trying to track down one decent date prospect on a dating site. Those sites are so, so depressing. |
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Post by Emma on Jan 10, 2011 23:01:04 GMT -5
I'll keep the profile up, but I don't intend to pay much attention to it. I think it's a good idea to have a profile up just because who knows. |
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Post by devogirl on Jan 11, 2011 14:54:07 GMT -5
What is it with able-bodied men sending me messages? What on earth do they think they're going to get? There are some male devs who reply to every female on sites like that, assuming she's disabled. You could have a huge flashing sign on your profile saying "devotee, not disabled" but they would still ignore it. There is also a certain subset of men who will chase after anyone who crosses their path, regardless of how inappropriate. It's the same kind of smaller-head thinking that leads gay guys to hit on straight guys. If you have a pulse, they think there is a chance you might say yes. In the past, I would try to be nice and politely turn them down, or explain why they were wasting their time with me. But after many futile and annoying interactions, I realized that even if I was saying, "I'm sorry, I'm not interested in you" all they were thinking was "OMG! She's still talking to me! Maybe I have a chance!" The best thing to do is just hit delete, and try to ignore them. Thankfully, not all guys are like that. I've posted this here before, but for those of you who are new, this article breaks down how online dating works from the point of view of the service provider: blog.okcupid.com/index.php/why-you-should-never-pay-for-online-dating/ |
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Post by ruthmadison on Jan 11, 2011 15:49:10 GMT -5
What is it with able-bodied men sending me messages? What on earth do they think they're going to get? There are some male devs who reply to every female on sites like that, assuming she's disabled. You could have a huge flashing sign on your profile saying "devotee, not disabled" but they would still ignore it. There is also a certain subset of men who will chase after anyone who crosses their path, regardless of how inappropriate. It's the same kind of smaller-head thinking that leads gay guys to hit on straight guys. If you have a pulse, they think there is a chance you might say yes. In the past, I would try to be nice and politely turn them down, or explain why they were wasting their time with me. But after many futile and annoying interactions, I realized that even if I was saying, "I'm sorry, I'm not interested in you" all they were thinking was "OMG! She's still talking to me! Maybe I have a chance!" The best thing to do is just hit delete, and try to ignore them. Thankfully, not all guys are like that. I've posted this here before, but for those of you who are new, this article breaks down how online dating works from the point of view of the service provider: blog.okcupid.com/index.php/why-you-should-never-pay-for-online-dating/I've been ignoring them. Just delete it and roll my eyes! And make fun of them here  Oh jeez, I wish I had read that article a few months ago, I do have pay subscriptions at some sites |
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Post by ~Z28gal~ on Jan 14, 2011 12:56:02 GMT -5
Hey girls!
What are your thoughts on long distance? I'm stuck in Virginia for the next couple of years, and I'm doubtful I'll find Prince Charming on his metallic steed here soo... Hypothetically, I meet Mr. Awesome, who lives in a far away land. His job is more flexible than mine, but I know it would be harder for a wheeler to come to me. Has anyone had experience with this? Would I just be setting myself up for heartbreak if get into a long distance relationship?
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Post by ruthmadison on Jan 14, 2011 14:47:04 GMT -5
I've done it. I usually make the guys come to me for the first time. I guess that makes me feel more like the lady, being pursued. They stay at an accessible hotel. It hasn't been a problem.
Of course, then once you're serious it becomes an issue. How do you decide where to live, whose connections to their place are more important? I picked up and moved for a guy and when it didn't work out I felt extremely trapped, I knew no one except him in the whole state. It was scary.
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Post by Emma on Jan 14, 2011 15:27:32 GMT -5
I did long distance dating too, across the country. I too realized the chances of meeting the right guy locally were VERY slim especially being in the relatively inaccessible north east. Long distance dating is really tough but if he's the right guy it's worth it. You have hto be able to visit regularly or its not really like dating and more like an online relationship. We talked very early in our relationship that one of us would have to move if things worked out. I was ready for a move, he wasn't so I went to him when we were ready to live together which was 10 months into our relationship.
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Post by ~Z28gal~ on Jan 16, 2011 19:55:08 GMT -5
I would be glad to work out regular visits, it would just be really tough (aka almost impossible) for me to move within the next 5 years or so. I REALLY don't want to be alone or doing LD that whole time, so fingers crossed that I'll meet someone that would be willing to come to me....
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