|
|
Post by Valkyrja on Jan 6, 2011 18:50:26 GMT -5
Roller... were you part of the "2Girls"?... so, I must Say: I LOVED DESIRE!!!... LC is a OMG guy... I hated when they gave him his "bionic" new legs! LOL (I know it was an exo----)...
And "Desire"... OMG... WON DER FUL!!!
So, thanks for that story. I really loved it!!
"Infected" is a good one too and of DA too.
|
|
|
|
Post by ruthmadison on Jan 6, 2011 19:52:25 GMT -5
You are living my fantasy. Wouldn't it be great if we could pick a great guy who we have stuff in common with and mesh with really well and then after we've already established a relationship, he becomes disabled. Perfect world, if you ask me  Writing for me has always been about creating the story I wanted to read. When I was twelve or thirteen, I was scouring the library looking for books that were love stories with disabled men and I found one or two. I got so frustrated that I started writing them for myself, writing them for just me to read, writing them because I would have control over what happened and I wouldn't be writing any miracle cures! That guided my fate so much. I got a B.A. and an M.A. in fiction writing and I have a regular writer's group who help me get stories ready for submission to literary magazines. |
|
|
|
Post by Inigo Montoya on Jan 7, 2011 12:20:33 GMT -5
First of all, welcome back, rollerboylover. Been a while, huh?  You are living my fantasy. Wouldn't it be great if we could pick a great guy who we have stuff in common with and mesh with really well and then after we've already established a relationship, he becomes disabled. Perfect world, if you ask me Now, yes, it is the fantasy of most of us to live with the wheeler of our dreams... but I have to admit, Ruth, that this particular scenario doesn't appeal to me at all.  It's actually kind of a nightmare-ish idea for me, personally. I'm very, very glad that it all worked out well for rollerboylover, but... to be honest the idea that I'd hook up with a guy and then have him become disabled... kinda gets me in the gut and not in that good way. I hope that if I ever find the wheeler of my dreams (we'll ignore the lack of that likelihood for a sec) that he'll be able to know that my love for him is true and that it won't require having known him both before and after. But I swear, I don't think I could exist in that situation without guilt. |
|
|
|
Post by ruthmadison on Jan 7, 2011 13:45:57 GMT -5
First of all, welcome back, rollerboylover. Been a while, huh? You are living my fantasy. Wouldn't it be great if we could pick a great guy who we have stuff in common with and mesh with really well and then after we've already established a relationship, he becomes disabled. Perfect world, if you ask me Now, yes, it is the fantasy of most of us to live with the wheeler of our dreams... but I have to admit, Ruth, that this particular scenario doesn't appeal to me at all. It's actually kind of a nightmare-ish idea for me, personally. I'm very, very glad that it all worked out well for rollerboylover, but... to be honest the idea that I'd hook up with a guy and then have him become disabled... kinda gets me in the gut and not in that good way. I hope that if I ever find the wheeler of my dreams (we'll ignore the lack of that likelihood for a sec) that he'll be able to know that my love for him is true and that it won't require having known him both before and after. But I swear, I don't think I could exist in that situation without guilt. That's a good point, I would feel like I had somehow caused it to happen. I would also much rather meet someone who is already disabled and secure and confident in himself. I don't really want to go through the whole recovery and reforming of identity with someone. But sometimes I think, it would be easier if I could just pick someone easy and simple and close by and have him turn in to what I really want! It's a very silly idea, though, and not something I would ever do (since the only way to know ahead of time if someone was going to become disabled is if you do it to them yourself!) |
|
|
|
Post by BA on Jan 7, 2011 14:42:46 GMT -5
First of all, welcome back, rollerboylover. Been a while, huh? Now, yes, it is the fantasy of most of us to live with the wheeler of our dreams... but I have to admit, Ruth, that this particular scenario doesn't appeal to me at all. It's actually kind of a nightmare-ish idea for me, personally. I'm very, very glad that it all worked out well for rollerboylover, but... to be honest the idea that I'd hook up with a guy and then have him become disabled... kinda gets me in the gut and not in that good way. I hope that if I ever find the wheeler of my dreams (we'll ignore the lack of that likelihood for a sec) that he'll be able to know that my love for him is true and that it won't require having known him both before and after. But I swear, I don't think I could exist in that situation without guilt. (since the only way to know ahead of time if someone was going to become disabled is if you do it to them yourself!) I have an AB husband and I couldn't agree with your post more Inigo. I would be absolutely devastated to the point of self blame. Ruth, your last sentence here is freaking me out. I am very glad that you clarified your original post vis a vis the fantasy of an existing partner becoming disabled however, this last statement has me really jaw dropped upset. I can't entertain some of these thoughts or images. I hope I have completely misread that statement. |
|
|
|
Post by ruthmadison on Jan 7, 2011 14:43:44 GMT -5
(since the only way to know ahead of time if someone was going to become disabled is if you do it to them yourself!) I have an AB husband and I couldn't agree with your post more Inigo. I would be absolutely devastated to the point of self blame. Ruth, your last sentence here is freaking me out. I am very glad that you clarified your original post vis a vis the fantasy of an existing partner becoming disabled however, this last statement has me really jaw dropped upset. I can't entertain some of these thoughts or images. I hope I have completely misread that statement. I'm sorry, totally a joke. My humor can be a little dark at times. I apologize. |
|
|
|
Post by ruthmadison on Jan 7, 2011 14:58:45 GMT -5
That's a good point, I would feel like I had somehow caused it to happen. I would also much rather meet someone who is already disabled and secure and confident in himself. I don't really want to go through the whole recovery and reforming of identity with someone. But sometimes I think, it would be easier if I could just pick someone easy and simple and close by and have him turn in to what I really want! It's a very silly idea, though, and not something I would ever do (since the only way to know ahead of time if someone was going to become disabled is if you do it to them yourself!) LOL yes Inigo it has definitely been a while. Ok, so I just wrote Ruth in PM format a long winded note about this very subject before having checked out the threads. So considering the turn this topic has taken, I think it's important for everyone to read.... Although I am living your dream, and mine as well, I had to overcome a lot of self imposed guilt because I felt like I had caused my husband's disability by dreaming it, by being attracted to disabled men, especially paraplegic men. So it was imperative that I eventually come clean and tell him, especially knowing that we didn't keep secrets, except of course this really big one I had kept my entire life and often felt remorseful for not sharing it with him. I was being shown a pretty big sign that it was time to stop hiding. I was very scared of his reaction but also knew that he loved me and that I could trust him. Completely. To this day, I still have recurring bouts of doubt or guilt when he's a little down. I still have a tendency to take responsibility for his fate and blame myself, which obviously brings me down as well. Luckily when he notices I'm heading in that direction he lovingly reminds me that *I* didn't do this, that it was destiny that put me in his life so that he could accept himself this way. That if it hadn't been for me and my kink, he wouldn't be as happy as he is today. Anyway, let me add that he's ok with being disabled, it's the fact that finding employment is so difficult at times that causes him issues. So yes, obviously guilt is always a factor in our freakish lives.  Strangely, I've had guilt thinking that my thoughts have caused the accidents of complete strangers! It's very hard to deal with. I'm sorry if I was talking about it too lightly. What goes on in fantasy is not at all what goes on in real life and there are things that might pop into my head that I would never, never, never do. |
|
|
|
Post by Inigo Montoya on Jan 7, 2011 15:05:48 GMT -5
I guess this would be a good time to share my freak out the day after Christmas... BA helped me weather it... a guy I graduated high school with rolled his car Christmas night and is now a T11-12 injury. I was a bit of a mess that day... he's married and has 4 kids... I don't remember ever crushing on him when we were in high school (at least not much) but still it's very weird. He's already in rehab and I'm... scared? concerned? worried? for him and his family... they seem to be handling it all so well... looking forward, etc.
And I'm not sure how weird I feel about following it all on CaringBridge. I shared that I was doing that with someone else from here... one of the guys... and I'm not sure but I'm afraid it may make me seem a little like a ghoul. =/
Clarification... I'm not feeling guilty... just, idk, weird.
|
|
|
|
Post by ruthmadison on Jan 7, 2011 15:12:19 GMT -5
I guess this would be a good time to share my freak out the day after Christmas... BA helped me weather it... a guy I graduated high school with rolled his car Christmas night and is now a T11-12 injury. I was a bit of a mess that day... he's married and has 4 kids... I don't remember ever crushing on him when we were in high school (at least not much) but still it's very weird. He's already in rehab and I'm... scared? concerned? worried? for him and his family... they seem to be handling it all so well... looking forward, etc. And I'm not sure how weird I feel about following it all on CaringBridge. I shared that I was doing that with someone else from here... one of the guys... and I'm not sure but I'm afraid it may make me seem a little like a ghoul. =/ Clarification... I'm not feeling guilty... just, idk, weird. You know, your knowledge could be very helpful to him and his family. Many friends disappear when something like that happens because they just don't know how to approach the person or what to say. Your support could be really appreciated! If you have access to any resources that could help, I would share them and just try to be a friend, if it's possible. I know when you haven't been close to someone it's hard to suddenly start, but it could really help him and his family to see a brighter future. |
|
|
|
Post by BA on Jan 7, 2011 15:25:26 GMT -5
Thank you for clarifying Ruth. I am very angsty today.
Rollerboylover thank you for sharing those thoughts and feelings. Indeed you are both lucky to have eachother.
|
|
|
|
Post by ruthmadison on Jan 7, 2011 15:27:56 GMT -5
Thank you for clarifying Ruth. I am very angsty today. Rollerboylover thank you for sharing those thoughts and feelings. Indeed you are both lucky to have eachother. Feeling angsty sucks. Anything we can do to help? |
|
|
|
Post by devogirl on Jan 9, 2011 16:52:02 GMT -5
Ok, we got a little off topic, but that's fine. Rollerboylover, I remember you and I'm glad you have come back. Cake was the one who recommended the DA fanfic, mainly because she was certain it was written by a dev. How funny that it was you! We really are a very small community.
Anyway I am bumping this topic to give more of you a chance to vote. I just looked at my schedule, and realized the weekend of Jan 21-22-23 is the only time I can do a live chat. There seemed to be a preference for the weekend, unless I am mistaken. If I close the voting this Friday and we have the chat the following weekend, is that enough time to read the story? Is there a strong preference for the date/time of a live chat? Please speak up now if you want to participate, and please vote if you haven't already.
|
|
|
|
Post by ruthmadison on Jan 9, 2011 17:09:39 GMT -5
Ok, we got a little off topic, but that's fine. Rollerboylover, I remember you and I'm glad you have come back. Cake was the one who recommended the DA fanfic, mainly because she was certain it was written by a dev. How funny that it was you! We really are a very small community. Anyway I am bumping this topic to give more of you a chance to vote. I just looked at my schedule, and realized the weekend of Jan 21-22-23 is the only time I can do a live chat. There seemed to be a preference for the weekend, unless I am mistaken. If I close the voting this Friday and we have the chat the following weekend, is that enough time to read the story? Is there a strong preference for the date/time of a live chat? Please speak up now if you want to participate, and please vote if you haven't already. That weekend would be perfect for me! |
|
|
|
Post by Cake on Jan 9, 2011 17:31:56 GMT -5
Cake was the one who recommended the DA fanfic, mainly because she was certain it was written by a dev. How funny that it was you! We really are a very small community. Totally! I've known "Desire" for years and always wondered if the people who wrote it were open devs. Way cool you were involved in its development, RBL!! As for the live chat date, that weekend would work perfectly for me too. As for the hour, I find 8 p.m. EST the best, as previous chats have shown it's a doable time for all the continents, especially on a weekend. |
|
|
|
Post by Valkyrja on Jan 9, 2011 18:00:51 GMT -5
sat 22th it´s going to be impossible to me... it´s my partner´s birthday... so, if it is the 21st or the 23rd... that would be ok
|
|
It's actually kind of a nightmare-ish idea for me, personally. I'm very, very glad that it all worked out well for rollerboylover, but... to be honest the idea that I'd hook up with a guy and then have him become disabled... kinda gets me in the gut and not in that good way. I hope that if I ever find the wheeler of my dreams (we'll ignore the lack of that likelihood for a sec) that he'll be able to know that my love for him is true and that it won't require having known him both before and after. 
