Cyclical Devness

[Peony]

*Apologies if this has been covered/touched on/talked about/analysed to death before*

I am about to head for the hills this (long) weekend, but I've been ruminating over the last few weeks, and wondered if anyone else had the same thoughts:

Do any of y'all notice any repeatable cycles in your devness? It's weird, but for the last few years, I really notice that, while I love wheelers in general, I really truly love them in the last few months of the year....

I don't know if it's the 'silly season', the start of spring and summer (in the Southern Hemisphere, obviously), or some weird alignment in the heavens. But. I do know I am way more rabid about it all. Well...more likely to daydream, write about it, and generally enjoy it (quite different from my soul-searching and trying-to-understand-it phase).

Maybe I am just looking for patterns where there aren't any, but was just curious if anyone had similar experiences.

Hope you all enjoy your weekends when you get to them

[lavly]

ummm i dont think i have noticed that my self but you know what, im going to pay closer attention from now on and ill let you know if i have a seasonal thing going on too

[ruthmadison]

Many people have mentioned feeling waxes and wanes in devness. I definitely do. I go through periods of such intense obsession that I can barely function, and then I go through periods where it doesn't seem to matter at all and I wonder why I ever thought being with a disabled guy was so important.

I happen to be in a down turn now! When I'm here, it's hard for me to remember what the obsession to the point of illness feels like.

[BA]

Down turn here but I have also been sick, so that could be a huge contributing factor.

[devogirl]

Yes, absolutely! We have discussed this here, but don't feel bad, I had a hard time finding the thread and it looks like some of the posts were deleted, but anyway:

paradevo.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=devs&action=display&thread=1872

I definitely go through cycles, but there doesn't seem to be any pattern. Sometimes extreme stress will cause it to turn off, sometimes a good book or movie will switch me on, but not always.

Personally, I've been on a huge high for several weeks now. It's great because I feel really charged up and creative all the time, but it also makes it really hard to sleep and concentrate on other things.

[Cake]

Yes, it definitely cycles! I don't see any real regular pattern, but we discussed the different stages very thoroughly in another thread, the first one ever in Devs Only:

paradevo.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=devs&action=display&thread=1077

[Valkyrja]

Totally Cycles... I refer to them as "Cake´s Stages" LOL... (do u remember Cakie?)
For the couple month I´m in a high dev stage... but, like others said, I have no pattern.

[dentelle]

I have been on a DEV bender since June. I think it was brought on by the hysterectomy. I have never had such feelings until this year. Talk about a basket case. Right now it has eased off a lot, but I have short circuits and think of something and then for a bit I obsess over it. This is something completely different, that I've never experienced before this year. It feels good and bad at the same time. Writing a story used to stave off the feelings, but now it doesn't help and I can't concentrate long enough to write a sentence

And Ruth, it was to the point of sickness this summer. You know with that guy No wonder he ran I'm thinking. I told my friend and she agrees. This is not a good thing.

I thank goodness I have you guys that I can talk to about it.

[ruthmadison]

Oct 27, 2011 23:26:59 GMT -5 dentelle said:

I have been on a DEV bender since June. I think it was brought on by the hysterectomy. I have never had such feelings until this year. Talk about a basket case. Right now it has eased off a lot, but I have short circuits and think of something and then for a bit I obsess over it. This is something completely different, that I've never experienced before this year. It feels good and bad at the same time. Writing a story used to stave off the feelings, but now it doesn't help and I can't concentrate long enough to write a sentence

And Ruth, it was to the point of sickness this summer. You know with that guy No wonder he ran I'm thinking. I told my friend and she agrees. This is not a good thing.

I thank goodness I have you guys that I can talk to about it.

Yeah, the intensity of the desire can be way too much for the poor guys. lol. This is why talking with more than one guy at a time can help relax and balance you out, rather than putting all the pressure on one person.

[devogirl]

Thank you for reposting that thread, Cake! I knew we had discussed it more. Your descriptions of the phases are so insightful and accurate.

And yes, taking action is the best way to deal with the obsessive feelings. Just looking at pictures or videos online for me is fun at first, but then when I do it too long, I just feel exhausted and like I've wasted tons of time. Taking positive action, either through meeting people or creative work, is so much more energizing and makes you feel in control, not like it controls you.

[Peony]

Thanks for all your replies! And those links make for excellent reading, Cake and devogirl, thanks for dredging them! Sooooo true. I wish I was a bigger nerd, and could understand it all! That's so cool that all your emotions are amplified in the fall/autumn, Lucretia, although sometimes it must be a little scary! I am much more extroverted and energised in winter or if it's raining...

I kind of love the creativity those more intense cycles can bring...I *really* love writing, but can get really lazy with it. The same with my camera, too...sometimes you just need a little visual inspiration, eh?!

[Pisti]

I'm totally in my peaks right now...

[BA]

Oct 29, 2011 16:52:24 GMT -5 Pisti said:

I'm totally in my peaks right now...

@ Judit. When in your peaks with the appropriate man in your life it ismagnificent channeling of energy. Something I sorely, sorely miss and something I know some of us will never experience

[ruthmadison]

Oct 28, 2011 14:04:13 GMT -5 devogirl said:

Thank you for reposting that thread, Cake! I knew we had discussed it more. Your descriptions of the phases are so insightful and accurate.

And yes, taking action is the best way to deal with the obsessive feelings. Just looking at pictures or videos online for me is fun at first, but then when I do it too long, I just feel exhausted and like I've wasted tons of time. Taking positive action, either through meeting people or creative work, is so much more energizing and makes you feel in control, not like it controls you.

That's a great point. Getting to where you can feel in control of the obsession rather than it controlling you is a good goal.

I do like to use my dev energy in positive ways whenever I can, whether through writing or through volunteering for disability rights stuff.

[ruthmadison]

I'm in a serious low dev period at the moment. I'm having feelings for an able-bodied boy and I'm starting to wonder if I can act on that without high dev coming back and destroying it

Feeling extremely conflicted.

I made a new video about it and the gist is that I think I'm going to test out treating high dev as an addiction and fight it, trying to keep myself in low dev, which is more manageable and doesn't make me miserable.