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Post by Emma on Nov 19, 2011 14:02:44 GMT -5
Oh no Cake  I have told a boyfriend and afterwards realized I wanted to take it back. I know its a terrible feeling. |
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Post by devogirl on Nov 19, 2011 15:47:13 GMT -5
I'm sorry to hear that Cake I know it's painful now, but in the long run it's always better to tell than to keep it a secret. |
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Post by dolly on Nov 23, 2011 16:27:00 GMT -5
cake, you are in my thoughts. thanks for sharing your experience with us. i hope it all works out okay.
*hug*
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Post by Dee Dee on Nov 23, 2011 17:13:17 GMT -5
Cake, it sounds to me as if your boyfriend just needs some time to process what you told him. Look at it from the positive side: he doesn´t love you any less, he is okay with your devness, he had long talks with you about it. Things could be much, much worse. Also, if he somehow fears that you could potentially leave him for a disabled guy, then assure him that you are not going to do that (you probably have already  ). |
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Post by lavly on Nov 23, 2011 17:27:33 GMT -5
*hugs* Cake, I can only imagine how vulnerable you must be feeling right now. But we're here for you!! Telling can be a huge relief, but the rawness immediately after can be difficult to deal with, even if the response is entirely positive. +1 and hugs, Cake. I'm here for you.  +2 im hopping by the time you read this it will be back to normal. and im with dg on this ... even if its not back to normal its so much better in the long run if your open about it now. but i am sorry it work out like this |
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Post by Cake on Nov 23, 2011 18:15:14 GMT -5
Thank you so much for the support, everyone. It really helps, just knowing that there are a few people out there who understand. Things have gone back to normal, I guess. We haven't talked about it since, and I get the feeling he's not exactly keen on exploring the subject any further  But yes, things could be a lot worse. So for now I'll just try to understand that this may not be exactly easy for him either. I am grateful that he didn't leave me and still likes to have sex with me I guess stories like dani's just made me really hopeful that it could work out similarly with my partner. But for now I'm gonna have to kiss the wish goodbye of incorporating my devness actively into our sex life. I'm curious, though: Those of you have partners who support your devness and even are willing to pretend: Do your guys have some kind of "kink" themselves? Are there other exotic aspects in your sexual relationship that have been there before the dev issue came up? |
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Post by lavly on Nov 24, 2011 21:56:55 GMT -5
 cake |
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Post by Valkyrja on Nov 24, 2011 22:48:51 GMT -5
Cakie... I´m so sorry to know he bad part of that!
I didn´t read the thread before!... Really, honey... I´m so sorry. How is it going?
Kisses!
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Post by pixie minxy on Dec 1, 2011 18:45:10 GMT -5
I'm curious, though: Those of you have partners who support your devness and even are willing to pretend: Do your guys have some kind of "kink" themselves? Are there other exotic aspects in your sexual relationship that have been there before the dev issue came up? Hey there. Sorry to hear you going through a rough time. Hope it get's better. To answer your Q: It took a long time to tell my H about my "interest". But he took it well... Then not well... then well. Now he has fun with it. My H has no kink there at all. But get's "stimulated" through knowing I am. He has no problems pretending, and often jokes about it...normally in the wrong company.  lol He knows I like adventurous sex and supports my willingness to fall flat on my face-because most of the time he gets to sit down while I try to swing from the chandeliers. Jokes. I don't understand "exotic aspects" Q? Do you mean other kinks/fetishes? |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 2, 2011 18:49:30 GMT -5
Cake, I am a little late....
I am sorry your partner did get a bit freaked out after you told him.....it is a lot to process and I think it can be a scary thing for the guy because he does not know enough about it and he may think he can't fulfill your needs anymore or something....
But as you said, he did not break up impulsivley or even reacted mad and aggressive....I think it is a start he knows now and it is not something that can just happen over night I think. SOmetimes I have to remind my husband again when I am in my dev high or such and we haven't talked about it lately but I need to talk....
I also write him sometimes when I can't talk about it, then it is usually a start into a conversation later on.
Don't give up hope, I think you did the right thing telling him and he may come around and address the issue again. Maybe let a bit of time go by and then maybe give it another try at talking about it.
As for other kinks, I am into bondage myself and I like to to wear legbraces myself and we play around with that as well. I hint to my husband when I need my fix and he usually responds. He knows it is good because it will also be good for him eventually....As for him, he does not have any kinks or fetishes, just a regular guy, he is a butt guy but everything else he does for me and my pleasure but it is directly connected with him because eventually he will get something good out of it, either if he wears the braces or is on crutches pretending for me or the other way around....
I hope you can find your common ground with this.....wishing you all the best.
Don't give up hope!
Dani
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I have told a boyfriend and afterwards realized I wanted to take it back. I know its a terrible feeling.
).
cake
lol