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Post by Emma on Nov 13, 2011 1:41:55 GMT -5
Oh Lucretia, we are not the dark side!
The only thing that got me away from being an active dev after discovering it back in 2000 was dating an AB guy I was very into. I dated him for a little over a year and really hardly ever did any of my usual dev suff. I remember feeling guilty I was not keeping up with a yahoo group but hnestly didn't have the interest at the time. Thankfully I have never had a serious injury that conjured controversial dev thoughts. Being super into a non-disabled guy for a while is the only thing that turned it off for me.
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Post by Peony on Nov 13, 2011 2:37:06 GMT -5
Thank you for all your replies-so diverse and interesting!
Lavly, that's fascinating that yours is kind of reversed!
Lucretia, that is so cool that an ultimately positive change came out of your accident. I think you have to, otherwise it's just a total waste...but still, it can take a while to get to that point, especially when huge chunks of your life are affected, and for so long. I distinctly remember thinking through a fog of morphine and blood loss that nothing else in life could be worse/scarier than that, so f*ck worrying about stuff (within reason, of course)!
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Post by lavly on Nov 13, 2011 3:35:29 GMT -5
And about what you said, Lav... I was never a social kind so... no matter what stage I am in... I'm not very social! LOL lollllllllllllllllllllllllll <3 val |
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Post by lavly on Nov 13, 2011 4:34:16 GMT -5
The main thing that's different pre- and post-accident, dev-wise, Since my return, I've seen so many new people come on, and I'm aware that there are SO many lurkers reading and not posting, I feel a little bit of a responsibility to try to explain as much as I can for those that are too shy to ask. I feel very protective of other devs, too. I feel like taking guys down who use devs, who torment devs, or are just plain assholes to devs. /quote] hey lucretia .... thanks so much for sharing ... its so good to see someone else dev storie . as well as have them say what your thinking. i so feel the same about other dev lurkers. im so not ok with guys that do put devs down. if it happence to me thats ok ... but when it happence to a new dev or a young one i get hella mad. and you know what its taking me ages to say this and i dont think im quite there yet but im getting to see the world a lil more like lovely emma. maybe just maybe being a dev is not all dark and bad. ....  @ emma ( see emma im getting there ) how good is this thread Peony! |
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Post by Peony on Nov 13, 2011 7:49:25 GMT -5
Yeah, it's a pretty great thread, actually, despite there being some depressing aspects to it! I don't *think* it's voyeuristic of me, but I love knowing how people feel and think about those really big things in life, and sexuality and mortality are two of the biggest, in my book! I dunno...I just love all the depths that people can have, I guess.
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Post by Inigo Montoya on Nov 13, 2011 10:12:29 GMT -5
Oh Lucretia, we are not the dark side! Aw, man! I just made cookies! |
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Post by Valkyrja on Nov 13, 2011 13:30:43 GMT -5
what...?!?!?... Devness is Darth Vader!?... "You don't know the power of the dark side!"
JAJAJAJAJA...
And I think it was not depressing at all, it´s a way to know us better.
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Post by devogirl on Nov 13, 2011 15:32:51 GMT -5
Lucretia, thank you for sharing! I think there are a lot of lurkers here, and we do have a responsibility to let devs who are just coming out know it's ok.
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Post by Emma on Nov 13, 2011 21:29:10 GMT -5
L is your post gone or am I going crazy?
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Post by Inigo Montoya on Nov 13, 2011 21:37:27 GMT -5
Her post is gone.  |
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Post by Pisti on Nov 14, 2011 5:10:45 GMT -5
Shame - I'm again late to read a good post...
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Post by Pisti on Nov 14, 2011 5:23:19 GMT -5
As for the "dead cat" theme: I think for me the only thing that could calm it down was to see it fulfilled. And of course it meant also to be busy with my wheeler. He is very dependent, and beside caring for him I have a job which sometimes needs more than the usual 8 hours a day. So we had to adapt to a very tight schedule. I think it must be similar to caring for a child (we are only working on the child project, so I wouldn't know). But for exemple beeing injured didn't turn off my devness. Several years ago I fell off a tree and landed on my back. I was in lots of pain, drifting in and out of conciousness and shitless scares that some permanent damage has been done (well - the pain still returnes time to time), but when a nurse passed us pushing a young guy in a wheelchair the only thing I could think of was that it is a shame he is so young - he could be perfekt for me. He most probably wasn't even a wheeler, just too weak to walk around.  |
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Post by ruthmadison on Nov 14, 2011 7:51:50 GMT -5
Here I am! During pregnancy and in the first 2 years of life of my child, devness was totally suppressed. Can’t tell you how strong it was once it come back again …  Same here... kinda!... During the pregancy I was like a "cat in heat"... LOL... I was easily rage and absolutley in heat. And my devness was... WOW! high as never!! LOL But once my child born and for the next 2 years I was breast feeding her... (yes, 2 years by pediatric recomendation)... my devness and any sex desire was totally suppressed too. Yes, Cake and I talked sometimes about our "preference"... it took me a lot of time to say it out loud because I was always affraid of "hurting suceptibilities" LOL... I think you all know that I like low paras. But... Sorry, Ruth... I don´t like Fabio... nor walking neither on a wheelchair!... really... not hot at all for me! DG... I´ve discovered that, when my devness enter in a low cycle... I quit the "dev books" and I´m much more dark... I grab the vampire books again, or the obscures ones! LOL But what I did realize is that I´m not a "Youtube dev"... I dont enjoy it... only if we are talking about movies, but home made vids I dont like! Hehehe, I just use Fabio as an example because his name is supposed to mean perfect, gorgeous guy. shrug. What I mean is that I tend to go for the most handsome of wheelers, types of guys I would never ever pursue if they were not disabled. |
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Post by ruthmadison on Nov 14, 2011 7:53:49 GMT -5
Slightly off topic, but you know I've always thought that if I were ever to sustain an SCI, the first thing that would happen is that I would laugh.
Not that I wouldn't go through all the same difficulties and adjustments as anyone else, but I think my very first reaction would be super weird and different because the irony would be so hilarious.
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Post by Inigo Montoya on Nov 14, 2011 17:37:11 GMT -5
You're the bomb.  |
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@ emma ( see emma im getting there )
