SUICIDE- my last goodbye

[lmartin101]

I'm hurting too bad to continue. I just wanted to thank everybody who sent me messages of support. I can't carry on. This is the end of the road for me.

[MarineAmp]

I don't know what has caused you to get to this point, but I think you need to fight for your life. You only get one chance at this miracle called life. I know it isn't always easy, but it is worth it.

[dolly]

please take yourself to a hospital. strangers on a message board cannot give you the help you need, but professional help and support is available to you, if you ask. please seek it out immediately.

[papawheelie]

I really hope you don't give up. As a quad, there have been so many times when I wanted to end it and take the easy way out. Life is hard and, sometimes, it's not anywhere you hoped it would be. I know things suck but dying isn't the answer.

[janewheeler]

lmartin, I know how hard it can be. Please believe me. But I think you should reconsider this decision. There is absolutely no going back -- and there are still many things here in this world that can help you, delight you and comfort you.

Please, please call 1-800-273-TALK or chat here: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx

Here is a crisis center locator:
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/CrisisCenters/Locator.aspx

In the absence of anything else, please go to your nearest ER NOW.

I know you don't know me, but I care about you and know from the messages you've posted that you care about others, too.

You are worth saving.

[lmartin101]

I have been in the hospital it didnt help. I've tried everything I can. I've never been happy. I don't want to continue because this is who I am. I won't be happy. I hurt my ex so bad and ill never forgive myself. I just don't want to live. There's no point anymore

[janewheeler]

I am telling you right now, as someone who has depression and has been in and out of relationships and has done things that I thought were horrible... there is nothing that is worth taking your own life.

What did you do to your ex? I am here to listen. I know how it feels when you think there's nothing left. Please chat with me at [e-mail] (or just janewheeler17 on yahoo messenger). I want to know your story.

[brace4impact]

I implore you not to do something drastic. If you think you ex hurt before imagine if he lost you. You should listen to everyone here. You might have dark thoughts but you mean a lot to many; so pull yourself up and fight your demons

[cripple farmboy]

Hold your horses lady. You need to look at the bigger picture. You should be happy to have the privilege of living on Earth with all of us cool people who are here to support you. There are no mulligans in life. You only get one shot at this thing so why not make the best of it? Why miss out on life experiences? Enjoy them just like everyone else. Plus, think of the pain your family will go through.

[cripple farmboy]

On a lighter note. If you still plan on going through with it you have to go out like a rockstar. First thing you need to do is go out and get as many credit cards you can. Then just have a blast (no pun intended) until you run out of money. Round the world vacations. Go skydiving. You gotta check those things off your bucket list. Plus that gives you more time to rethink this whole situation.

[argosy]

Suicide is the most selfish thing any person can ever do. Do not do it. It will break your family, it will hurt your community, people you've never met will be deeply affected by it. Do you know how grateful you should be for life? It is a freak chance you are even on this planet and alive and well and you should think about the bigger picture before you do something as drastic and melodramatic as to take your own life. Judging by your birthday we are almost the same age and I know I definitely haven't been around long enough to make such a strong judgement call. Guilt and depression are the worst but they are easier to overcome than the damage you'd do to your body attempting suicide.

[BA]

Jun 8, 2012 21:36:40 GMT -5 lmartin101 said:

I'm feeling awesome about myself now. I should have said I suffered from severe depression. I have my bad days once in awhile now but over all I got the help I needed. Helping people is what makes me happy so thats what I'm doing

Suicide: A permanent solution to a temporary problem. You are 20 years old. Your have no idea the wonderful places your life will take you. Get yourself to the emergency room, get the meds tweaked, love yourself the best you can and work on healing. Look at your own words above to see what your potential is.

[janewheeler]

You have to remember that your inner self is not the person who wants to die. You feel this way because of a disease. It's the disease talking. There's a person inside you who is worth keeping alive.

It's very easy globalize and spiral into thinking that all of your problems are related to some flaw you think you have inside. But when you start with distorted thinking, the only place you can go is down. For me, it helps a lot to remember that everyone has problems (which I think you understood in wanting to help others). More importantly, your disease -- which is NOT you -- feeds on your despair. You can remember that it is natural to feel sad and upset about some of these things -- but nothing is worth killing yourself. If people can forgive murderers, they can certainly forgive you.

Relationships come and go. Depression comes and goes in small and large cycles. Suicide is, indeed, a permanent way to deal with things that come and go.

We care about you, lmartin. Please hold on. Please call or chat or email with someone.

[lmartin101]

I'm not going to the hospital because they don't do anything and I just get treated like shit. I asked for help four months ago and I still haven't got an appointment. Id rather kill myself then deal with this pain. Maybe my future won't be good so i wouldnt miss anything. I'm done

[brace4impact]

You're obviously trying to reach out for help, so maybe the hospital isn't the best option. Even talking to a professional is a good start. Everyone, and I mean everyone will go through pain in their lives. People will always lose a loved one in their lives, people will become sick, people will become injured as you can plainly see on this board. There's a saying the U.S. Marines have, Pain is weakness leaving the body. Pain will make you stronger, its what you do with the pain that will make you triumph. Don't give in so easily. Look at many of the wheelers here; they had lots of opportunities to call it quits, but didn't. I don't know you, I don't know what your going through, and I can never know exactly what you feel. I'll tell you a quick story, this might sound corny, but I was outside today and I saw a cloud and I stared at it, and I saw the edge, and I actually DID see a silver lining, and it made me think, maybe every cloud does have a silver lining. You can take the heartache and pain you feel and make something positive of it. There are people who have survived concentration camps to go on and become motivational speakers; I've met them. There are soldiers who have had their legs blown off by bombs, and they run charities to help others. There are convicts who help get gang members off the street. In the end, none of us on this board can make the choice for you, only you can. But you have to see that no matter what you've experienced, someone has experienced the same and possibly worse. So pull yourself up, stare at the storm cloud and spot that silver lining.