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Post by devogirl on Aug 26, 2014 21:47:38 GMT -5
Be strong Juno! It sounds from your latest post like you are doing all the right things, especially in going back to the therapist. Most people can't be rational in a breakup, and it sounds like that is what's happening with your guy. That mutual understanding you want might not come right away--some people need to blame the other person, get mad, throw a fit, etc. to really break things off. I know how much it hurts to feel like he is blaming you unjustly, but that might just be the only way he can make a break. Eventually he will realize that he's kidding himself about compromising on sex, but it might not be until long after the breakup.
Also Juno and Greenbean, from what you've posted here, it seems like your situations are quite different--the right thing for each of you will not be the same. No need to feel like a hypocrite.
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greenbean
Full Member
That's not me, just a chick with a pigeon poopin on her head.
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Post by greenbean on Aug 27, 2014 1:49:14 GMT -5
Be strong Juno! It sounds from your latest post like you are doing all the right things, especially in going back to the therapist. Most people can't be rational in a breakup, and it sounds like that is what's happening with your guy. That mutual understanding you want might not come right away--some people need to blame the other person, get mad, throw a fit, etc. to really break things off. I know how much it hurts to feel like he is blaming you unjustly, but that might just be the only way he can make a break. Eventually he will realize that he's kidding himself about compromising on sex, but it might not be until long after the breakup. Also Juno and Greenbean, from what you've posted here, it seems like your situations are quite different--the right thing for each of you will not be the same. No need to feel like a hypocrite. I meant more in terms of tackling the problem- i.e i never tell him exactly what I mean, I always put it off. Just the stuff she was saying about her dog and his perfect job ect. reminded me of some of the reasons I'm hesitant to be real with my guy
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Juno
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Relationship Status: It's complicated
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Post by Juno on Aug 28, 2014 23:28:14 GMT -5
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Juno
New Member
Posts: 38
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: It's complicated
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Post by Juno on Sept 11, 2014 22:35:10 GMT -5
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Juno
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Posts: 38
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: It's complicated
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Post by Juno on Oct 2, 2014 19:16:54 GMT -5
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Post by Emma on Oct 2, 2014 23:27:18 GMT -5
Distance and time are really tough but in some ways they are good. You have lots of time to think about if its what you want. You also get to keep your life before meshing it with someone new. I guess overall it just keeps things slow. The sexual frustration is tough but maybe you can find other outlets for that like video chat with your para, you tube or something like that. My husband dated (across the US) for almost a year before we lived in the same city and house. It was hard, but now that I look back at it I think of it as an amazing time in my life.
Also I don't know if you are looking for advice about your fiancee but if so I'd suggest sleeping in separate rooms. Sharing a bed is probably giving him hope.
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Juno
New Member
Posts: 38
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: It's complicated
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Post by Juno on Dec 9, 2014 17:54:05 GMT -5
Hi again. A while back I deleted all of my previous entries because I felt like everything had become overwhelmingly personal, and it felt strange to have so many intimate details of my life displayed here on PD (although I saved all my posts as screen caps for my own personal references). I was going through an incredibly difficult time, and this was my one anonymous outlet of relief. That being said, for anyone who was following along before and cares enough for an update, my AB fiancé and I have now separated and are moving into different housing this month. We've both signed new leases and have told our families about the engagement ending. We are still close, however, and thankfully there has been no nastiness throughout the separation.
Regardless, this was a long, painful process, but it still feels right. Thanks to everyone for your encouragement and words of advice along the way. I'm still happily talking to the same para and will see him again soon.
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Post by Inigo Montoya on Dec 10, 2014 21:02:10 GMT -5
I'm glad you've found some peace and are getting some resolution.
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Post by Dee Dee on Dec 11, 2014 21:29:28 GMT -5
Good to hear from you again, Juno!
It sounds like you are on the right path.
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