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Post by Ouch on Mar 5, 2007 9:23:35 GMT -5
All of the above for about a month...then...the latter (sad when you're floundering in a dev. community lol)...though the online acquaintences (mainly amongst the wheelers) have been a good pickup.
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Post by E on Mar 5, 2007 10:01:20 GMT -5
I don't think this board has ever been intended as a hook-up spot. You have to remember that when the board began there were no wheelers... and they weren't really looking for any to join. The original purpose was for devotees of disabled men to discuss the phenomenon and issues related to being a devotee. As a side-effect, this collection of female devotees in one place has caused an immigration of wheelers looking to meet devotees.
I don't think this immigration is a bad thing. I'm sure we add an additional depth to the conversations here. And, occasionally, relationships can form, but these are fringe benefits... not the core purpose.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2007 14:21:21 GMT -5
Hmm. I'll bite, even if I've been back in lurk mode for a while. My only real expectations for the board are actually to gather info (ahem, food for fantasy? Yeah, I admit it. ), have some laughs, and maybe meet new people I feel comfortable talking to about a part of my life that doesn't get much "screen time," so to speak. Though, I've personally found that my close friends just smile and shrug at the fact that I happen to like boys in wheelchairs. (And in one case, inform me that I'm evil for converting her. Heh.) A relationship would be nice, but I don't expect it. If it happens, it happens, but if not, I won't be angsting in a corner over it.
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Post by Triassic on Mar 5, 2007 15:38:58 GMT -5
Tell us about the 'conversion'.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2007 16:40:27 GMT -5
Tell us about the 'conversion'. Now that I've editted out my reflexive HTML? Sure. It's simple, really. I'm a geek. She's a geek. We roleplay a lot. I happen to like "imperfect" characters, in general. A book filled with runway models just... makes me want to gag. So we've been.. exploring possibilities. (Take that any way you want, who am I to shatter illusions?) She's had to admit, guys in wheelchairs are sexy. Though, she seems to be more partial to blind guys, at the moment. It's still a step towards the wheely dev side.
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Post by Pony on Mar 5, 2007 16:47:42 GMT -5
No expectations here!! i think when i first found this place i thought 'wow, chicks will be beating down my email-door', but that was fantasy at work. lol I do really dig most of the conversation from both wheeler and Devs, and it's diverse as hell, so it stays vibrant. I've also met some close friends on here, including female persuasion, that i respect, admire and attracted to.
I sincerely hope that us Chairdudes haven't run off devs by out numbering them and messing up the chemistry with out big mouths.
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Post by taylor on Mar 5, 2007 17:16:08 GMT -5
The only real expectation I have is really just having a safe place to talk about this. I like that there are so many cool wheelers here, but I am not actively looking for anything more than friendship. Give me a few months and that may change
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Post by BA on Mar 5, 2007 18:03:48 GMT -5
Ditto Taylor, a safe, fun, friendly place for open dialogue. This is the first place where I have met other female devs, forged some pretty cool friendships and talked openly to wheelers about my uniqueness. The best thing about it is my lack of expectations.
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Post by Lazy Jenny on Mar 5, 2007 18:09:39 GMT -5
I came here after the wheeler guys showed up. I liked the dialog that was going on.
I was also new to the day-to-day realities the guys live with and set about educating myself.
While I haven't made any friends on the board, I never expected to.
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Post by mrjefffurz on Mar 5, 2007 19:01:49 GMT -5
i came here cuz i was skeptical in re the existence of female devlettes...the loverly lady absinthe invited me to test that skepticism...in paradevo i found a group of fine, fun, interesting ppl,,,a place where i felt comfortable opening up about my sexuality w/o it being in a "hook up" context...i seriously doubt i'll ever meet any of the awesome lil gals here so that kinda makes it a pressureless place to practice my flirting, doncha know
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Post by shouldbestudying on Mar 5, 2007 20:58:58 GMT -5
I'm not really sure what my expectations were after being introduced to the site. However, as arrogant as it may sound, I never experienced difficulties with women prior to my accident.
It isn't easy going from having little to no problems attracting women to feeling like you have to "sell yourself" like some kind of used car salesman to women that you're interested in.
I'm just happy to know that there are individuals in society that see people like myself as more than objects of pity or (sometimes even worse) admiration.
So, to make a long post even longer.....I have no expectations. I just appreciate the fact that (for whatever reason) there are people out there who see guys like me as attractive and desirable.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2007 0:09:05 GMT -5
I try to avoid having expectations. I find it more productive to enter all situations open minded. I tend to have a 'just let it happen' type attitude. That being said, after frequenting this site for many months, I've come to expect the same as Taylor and AB: honest, open discussion on a subject otherwise nonexistent in my daily conversation. And thank the lord that this site exists to facilitate it.
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Post by brendanuk on Mar 6, 2007 4:41:51 GMT -5
I never joined with expectations. If you have expectations then then you can always get let down. I prefer to let things happen naturally. If they are gonna happen they will. If they don't then just enjoy the time I'm having.
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Post by devogirl on Mar 6, 2007 18:15:41 GMT -5
Yes, just to repeat what E said, this board was never intended as a dating site. The Paradevo website was started by Lee and yrs truly as a place where devotees of disabled men could indulge their desires in a friendly, nonjudgmental environment (Lee did all the HTML work). Several years later, Lee started the message board as an offshoot, to allow devs to discuss their thoughts. This is your board and we take a very hands-off attitude, so whatever you want to talk about is fine, and anyone can join. Some people have come here looking for a partner, but there are over 300 members, and to my knowledge the number of people who have met IRL and actually started up a relationship can be counted on one hand. Just from having observed the activity on the board over the years, it seems that the people who come here expecting to find a relationship right away get frustrated and leave fairly quickly, while those who are just here to chat or who have no particular expectations seem to stick around the longest. There are other internet sites for dating and for disabled dating. If you want to do that here, great, go ahead, but be aware that it might not work out. IMHO, the most important function this board serves is not to hook up devs and wheelers, but to allow devs to work through their issues and feelings. I think of it more as group therapy.
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Post by Cake on Mar 6, 2007 19:51:16 GMT -5
Amen.
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