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Post by laur on Jun 4, 2018 11:04:07 GMT -5
I've talked about it with a few of my close friends, but similar to others here, found that they just don't really get it. I've never had any negative reactions, but I don't really get into it too much because of that lack of real understanding and feeling like I have to explain any aspect of anything dev-related that I share with them. It kind of makes it less fun than just talking instead to other devs about this aspect of myself, even virtually. I do think I'd probably talk about it a bit more with my friends if I ended up in a relationship with a PWD though. Since I've only dated AB guys, it's been less relevant in day-to-day life.
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Post by TotalBias on Jun 4, 2018 15:35:38 GMT -5
my husband is a high DAK with short leg stumps I knew this day would come... what does DAK stand for?
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Post by Manda2212 on Jun 4, 2018 15:59:49 GMT -5
Double Above Knee (amputee)
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Post by LaMara on Jun 5, 2018 9:29:23 GMT -5
I told a few friends and until a few days ago only one of them had shown interest and sympathy in a totally non awkward way. But a week and a half ago, while hiking up a hill (of all places) the subject came out with one of my bffs. I had somewhat told her I’m a dev years ago but after that she never asked any details and I assumed she was too uncomfortable to talk about it. It comes out she assumed I was the one too uncomfortable to talk! She was absolutely accepting and positive and just wanted to know more and understand what it was about. We had such a nice open conversation! All of this while I was trying not to vomit a lung up the steep hill... I still don’t feel like I could gush about a hot pwd in front of any of my friends, but perhaps this will change now that I’m getting more comfortable with myself and that I know I have their support
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loreley
Full Member
Posts: 204
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by loreley on Jun 6, 2018 11:38:27 GMT -5
I have never told anyone,not even my closest friends. I am in a very happy and fulfilling relationship with a pwd and he doesn't know either, even though I know he would be cool with it. I think I would be afraid to lose that natural intimacy we have - if he made a dev-related comment about some movement/situation etc. that might turn me on,I think I might get very self-conscious and would feel somewhat inhibited just to watch him do things and him knowing that I like it - does that make any sense? I am generally not the type to talk about myself a lot and it would feel somehow weird to disclose something so intimate...
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2018 12:01:22 GMT -5
loreley I can kind of understand what you mean but how do think your bf would react if you told him? I know we have quite a few women here who are in relationships with PWD. May I ask what his disability is?
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loreley
Full Member
Posts: 204
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by loreley on Jun 6, 2018 12:15:40 GMT -5
Hi Dani, he has primary progessive MS. He can only walk a few steps with support, has problems with fine motor skills in his hands, has double vision and blurred speech. I think he would be absolutely all right with it and probably be curious and ask me lots of questions about it, but I fear that this would somehow make me so self-conscious about it that I would start controlling what I say, where I look, etc. I know that this is my problem rather than his. I am so used to hiding my attraction away since early childhood that it would feel just so strange to open up. Getting an account here has been a massive step for me, so maybe I'll take baby steps and see where I am after having participated here for a while.
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Post by mona on Jun 6, 2018 12:53:00 GMT -5
I have never told anyone,not even my closest friends. I am in a very happy and fulfilling relationship with a pwd and he doesn't know either, even though I know he would be cool with it. I think I would be afraid to lose that natural intimacy we have - if he made a dev-related comment about some movement/situation etc. that might turn me on,I think I might get very self-conscious and would feel somewhat inhibited just to watch him do things and him knowing that I like it - does that make any sense? I am generally not the type to talk about myself a lot and it would feel somehow weird to disclose something so intimate... Yes. It makes sense to me. I don't like to be labeled. If I like his movements why can't I just like them because they're beautiful to me and not because I'm a dev and devs like those things. You know what I mean? But this thread was about telling friends and not telling him... Sorry if I digress.
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Post by elbs on Jun 24, 2018 19:05:06 GMT -5
I was going to come out to my friend with CP today but I chickened out. I have mentioned devoteeism as a concept to her, and she finds it interesting, but I'm still too scared to tell her that I'm actually a dev myself.
Even among the people who know, I get awkward talking about what goes through my mind. Like when my brother put on a song that mentions one of my other fetishes when I was trying to get to sleep, I got really embarrassed telling him that I liked it in a very not relaxing kind of way.
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Post by LaMara on Jun 25, 2018 17:23:45 GMT -5
Last week I was having dinner with one of the few friends I told about being a dev, and for the very first time I had the courage to make a dev joke and she not only got it but laughed with me... omg I never thought it would happen outside PD, feels good to be accepted
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Post by TotalBias on Jun 27, 2018 6:07:00 GMT -5
Last week I was having dinner with one of the few friends I told about being a dev, and for the very first time I had the courage to make a dev joke and she not only got it but laughed with me... omg I never thought it would happen outside PD, feels good to be accepted I wanna hear the joke
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Post by LaMara on Jun 27, 2018 10:30:01 GMT -5
Last week I was having dinner with one of the few friends I told about being a dev, and for the very first time I had the courage to make a dev joke and she not only got it but laughed with me... omg I never thought it would happen outside PD, feels good to be accepted I wanna hear the joke It wasn’t particularly funny... She keeps hurting herself, her knee is f* up, her back is f* up, and now she hurt her elbow... I told her eventually if she’s not more careful she will end up losing a limb and I will have to date her
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lilyth
Junior Member
Posts: 74
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by lilyth on Jul 9, 2018 22:01:42 GMT -5
I'm late to this thread...but anyway... I gush to my boyfriend? About it? I guess? Am I the only one? I know many devs here are closeted or may be with a pwd and don't tell them about their devoteeism, but the guy I'm with now is almost more into it than I am, so I find myself talking to HIM about it. It's like, disability jokes all the time, sexual button pushing, innuendo, calling each other dev/wheeler. It's almost like I'm the only person HE can talk so openly about his disability with, too, so we just drown each other in it sometimes and it's incredibly freeing. I've never hidden my dev feelings from guys in the past and I have dated other pwds, but I kind of just never pushed it either. Nonetheless, if I couldn't gush to him, I would sadly have nobody else to do it with. I often wish I had dev friends, even one, who got what I was feeling and who I could gush to about my guy, and/or about dudes that I see out and about. Or even talk to about the day to day issues and life stuff he and I deal with. I'd do it here, but I'd kind of rather do it where the guys can't read it. That doesn't exist...does it? Also my best friend is very aware of my feelings, but she doesn't share the attraction at ALL, and likes to point out homeless guys who happen to be sitting in wheelchairs and ask me if I want to date them....at least it shows she's comfortable joking about it
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Post by Inkdevil on Jul 11, 2018 17:16:03 GMT -5
I gush to my boyfriend? About it? I guess? Am I the only one? I know many devs here are closeted or may be with a pwd and don't tell them about their devoteeism, but the guy I'm with now is almost more into it than I am, so I find myself talking to HIM about it. It's like, disability jokes all the time, sexual button pushing, innuendo, calling each other dev/wheeler. It's almost like I'm the only person HE can talk so openly about his disability with, too, so we just drown each other in it sometimes and it's incredibly freeing. Yes ^^^^ to all of this ^^^^ My boyfriend and I do the dev/wheeler thing, the bad disability jokes and discuss things that the ‘normals’ wouldn’t get. I’m 100% open about my dev side with him and it’s a definite enhancement and extra layer to our relationship that we both enjoy. I have told maybe 10 friends and family that I’m a dev and I’m glad I did, but I don’t and can’t gush about my likes with them. They just, don’t, get, it. The more I try to explain it, the more confused they look. My boyfriend totally understands and appreciates me liking his flat thighs, sleek chair and wheeler skills though, so I don’t really give a flying fuck if no-one else gets what my dev side is all about. It’s what he thinks that really matters.
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Post by laur on Jul 11, 2018 20:12:35 GMT -5
I have told maybe 10 friends and family that I’m a dev and I’m glad I did, but I don’t and can’t gush about my likes with them. They just, don’t, get, it. The more I try to explain it, the more confused they look. This drove me crazy in college. My closest friends know about my dev interests and are totally fine about it, but yeah, it wasn’t like I could really get too into describing my fantasy dudes and have them understand what devvy aspects I was into. It was so annoying because they all could and I got it for them. It was even worse in high school when I hadn’t yet found PD until the end and hadn’t even told any of my friends about being a dev. I only could gush to myself in a journal, lol.
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