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Post by Emma on Oct 25, 2019 23:45:03 GMT -5
Well..and he is gone, I was actually hoping he would say something at least but shows that he didn't care in the first place. At least we now know he was reading the posts!
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timm
New Member
Posts: 28
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Married/Domestic partnership
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Post by timm on Oct 26, 2019 7:20:57 GMT -5
Yes he does seem to be gone (either left or removed) as I went to look when he was last here. Actually I messaged him on kik yesterday that there were a couple of threads about him on Paradevo and he might want to reply. He hasn’t answered. The comments weren’t all negative and I think some explanation might have smoothed this over. For example, I know he has only very limited use of one arm as the result of an experimental surgery, so creating long messages may be difficult. Anyway, I would have suggested that approach had he gotten back to me. (As an attorney, you need to think of the best defense for your client. 😉 Just joking, I do not represent him.). For all his faults, a little part of me will miss his asking for pictures every day and wonder what happened to him. However, happy to be a part of this group.
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Post by feelsunshine on Oct 26, 2019 10:17:44 GMT -5
Yes he does seem to be gone (either left or removed) as I went to look when he was last here. Actually I messaged him on kik yesterday that there were a couple of threads about him on Paradevo and he might want to reply. He hasn’t answered. The comments weren’t all negative and I think some explanation might have smoothed this over. For example, I know he has only very limited use of one arm as the result of an experimental surgery, so creating long messages may be difficult. Anyway, I would have suggested that approach had he gotten back to me. (As an attorney, you need to think of the best defense for your client. 😉 Just joking, I do not represent him.). For all his faults, a little part of me will miss his asking for pictures every day and wonder what happened to him. However, happy to be a part of this group. See, you mentioned that he has limited arm function and has maybe trouble writing long messages. If people knew that, that would actually be a reason not to think that he was just creepy. But, well, we didn't know as he never took part in any discussions whatsoever. On the other hand, limited arm function should not be the reason for not taking part in discussions, as there are things like speech to text aids around. My feeling somehow tells me that he will be back some time... so don't be disappointed ;-)
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Post by AlrightyAphrodite on Oct 26, 2019 10:34:54 GMT -5
Yes he does seem to be gone (either left or removed) as I went to look when he was last here. Actually I messaged him on kik yesterday that there were a couple of threads about him on Paradevo and he might want to reply. He hasn’t answered. The comments weren’t all negative and I think some explanation might have smoothed this over. For example, I know he has only very limited use of one arm as the result of an experimental surgery, so creating long messages may be difficult. Anyway, I would have suggested that approach had he gotten back to me. (As an attorney, you need to think of the best defense for your client. 😉 Just joking, I do not represent him.). For all his faults, a little part of me will miss his asking for pictures every day and wonder what happened to him. However, happy to be a part of this group. See, you mentioned that he has limited arm function and has maybe trouble writing long messages. If people knew that, that would actually be a reason not to think that he was just creepy. But, well, we didn't know as he never took part in any discussions whatsoever. On the other hand, limited arm function should not be the reason for not taking part in discussions, as there are things like speech to text aids around. My feeling somehow tells me that he will be back some time... so don't be disappointed ;-) Gee, it's enough to make one think that instead of 1) assuming you know everything, when you clearly don't 2) assuming the worst and spewing a bunch of unnecessary judgement 3) driving people off the board because they don't use it like you do? You could possibly: 1) offer people the benefit of the doubt 2) stop deeply personalizing things that aren't about you at all 3) spend your energy contributing to the board in ways you support, and simply ignoring what you don't like. He clearly wasn't my type but maybe he was someone's. Maybe it was just nice to come to like the one place on the internet as a dev, or a person who likes devs, where that's cool and feel accepted. But, congrats board police... you have driven yet another member off of these boards and kneecapped who knows how many personal interactions because your vision of the board is very particular and you are very sensitive about it. Round of applause, your policing strategy is very effective. Are you satisfied with the quality of the board now? It's deeply ironic to me that in your desire to keep the board a welcoming place for "people like you” you drive away anyone at all who doesn't fit your mold?
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Post by Nate on Oct 26, 2019 10:52:41 GMT -5
See, you mentioned that he has limited arm function and has maybe trouble writing long messages. If people knew that, that would actually be a reason not to think that he was just creepy. But, well, we didn't know as he never took part in any discussions whatsoever. On the other hand, limited arm function should not be the reason for not taking part in discussions, as there are things like speech to text aids around. My feeling somehow tells me that he will be back some time... so don't be disappointed ;-) Gee, it's enough to make one think that instead of 1) assuming you know everything, when you clearly don't 2) assuming the worst and spewing a bunch of unnecessary judgement 3) driving people off the board because they don't use it like you do? You could possibly: 1) offer people the benefit of the doubt 2) stop deeply personalizing things that aren't about you at all 3) spend your energy contributing to the board in ways you support, and simply ignoring what you don't like. He clearly wasn't my type but maybe he was someone's. Maybe it was just nice to come to like the one place on the internet as a dev, or a person who likes devs, where that's cool and feel accepted. But, congrats board police... you have driven yet another member off of these boards and kneecapped who knows how many personal interactions because your vision of the board is very particular and you are very sensitive about it. Round of applause, your policing strategy is very effective. Are you satisfied with the quality of the board now? It's deeply ironic to me that in your desire to keep the board a welcoming place for "people like you” you drive away anyone at all who doesn't fit your mold? This.
I completely regret the part I played in driving the guy away, and I'm leaving my comments up as reminders of what not to do. I am sensitive to personal ad posts like hotwheeler's, but AlrightyAphrodite is absolutely right; it's not about me. I'm allowed to be offended and to block a person if I don't like what's being posted.
We all are.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2019 14:02:33 GMT -5
I wanted this to be over but I'm going to add on to this because of AlrightyAphrodite comment, no one is policing and no one is driving anyone away, this has been explained on my part in my other post over on the Generals section, the reason why I feel the way I feel. But just the fact that I'm bending over backwards to analyze and explain my feelings and actions whereas the source of this situation had nothing to say about it at all, makes me angry. Where the ones who actually think about this "person" and his approach get judged just the same as people are apparently judging. Just like he doesn't have to explain his approach, I actually also shouldn't have to explain but I did, because I freaking care about this place not being infiltrated by "trolls", "fake" or simply "selfish" people. I won't care anymore, I probably need to take a step back for a while. And no, limited arm function is no reason to not participate, we have people who use all kinds of assistive technology and participate ten times more than this anonymous person...it's okay, I am aware that anyone can use this board the way they want. So, apparently having invested hundreds of thoughts, feelings, and views on this board for a long time doesn't mean anything when it comes to questioning ONE repetitive anonymous "questionable" ad...
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Post by Dr. BiPAP Sachin on Oct 26, 2019 16:47:28 GMT -5
I wanted this to be over but I'm going to add on to this because of AlrightyAphrodite comment, no one is policing and no one is driving anyone away, this has been explained on my part in my other post over on the Generals section, the reason why I feel the way I feel. But just the fact that I'm bending over backwards to analyze and explain my feelings and actions whereas the source of this situation had nothing to say about it at all, makes me angry. Where the ones who actually think about this "person" and his approach get judged just the same as people are apparently judging. Just like he doesn't have to explain his approach, I actually also shouldn't have to explain but I did, because I freaking care about this place not being infiltrated by "trolls", "fake" or simply "selfish" people. I won't care anymore, I probably need to take a step back for a while. And no, limited arm function is no reason to not participate, we have people who use all kinds of assistive technology and participate ten times more than this anonymous person...it's okay, I am aware that anyone can use this board the way they want. So, apparently having invested hundreds of thoughts, feelings, and views on this board for a long time doesn't mean anything when it comes to questioning ONE repetitive anonymous "questionable" ad... BOOYAH!
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Post by Dr. BiPAP Sachin on Oct 26, 2019 16:57:29 GMT -5
Am I sensing a disturbance in the Dev-PWD "Force"? Time to summon a conflict resolution team, or maybe better yet, the Dev-PWD Jedi Council…
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2019 17:37:19 GMT -5
Surely the whole point of being adults should be that we can have opinions. We shouldnt really have to censor this. Im pretty sure that @hottwheeler wasnt "hounded" off the board. If you think he was treated harshly, why be so judgemental to Dani ? Do you want to push a real contributor off the board ?
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Post by Dr. BiPAP Sachin on Oct 26, 2019 17:54:18 GMT -5
Surely the whole point of being adults should be that we can have opinions. We shouldnt really have to censor this. Im pretty sure that @hottwheeler wasnt "hounded" off the board. If you think he was treated harshly, why be so judgemental to Dani ? Do you want to push a real contributor off the board ? Opinions are fine, judgmental bullshit just isn't! Everybody, take a deep breath and leave all misconceptions and judgments at the door. I shall do the same from now on.
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timm
New Member
Posts: 28
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Married/Domestic partnership
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Post by timm on Oct 26, 2019 20:16:34 GMT -5
Friends let’s take a deep breath. I haven’t been here long but ...
Dani, you are the best welcoming person and a great creative writer. Don’t feel bad.
Aphrodite, I think the ideas in the first part of your post are something for us all to keep in mind. Let’s not throw stones.
Hotwheeler, ok you’re gone and won’t see this but I know you weren’t a fake or a troll. I’ve reached out on kik and email to see if you’re ok but no response.
Maybe we should put this to bed, so to speak.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2019 22:28:56 GMT -5
-No dev guilt here -My kinky self and very sexual fetish related writing is found on another site where it is appropriate and common -I don't consider being a dev a kink -I also don't consider PD a kink site -I just don't like shallow people -I enjoy sex, I cleared that up in my other post
Thank you for everyone's input on this
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