Is your attraction to pwd sexual ?

[Deleted]

Hi everyone, I’ve seen on a lot of our posts and replies that we have varying responses to our attraction. Its made me wonder what sort of percentages of us are feeling a sexual response and if not what do we feel ?

[LaMara]

I know I will be a minority. I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately and as it happens I’m most definitely on the asexual spectrum.
Basically one can still have sexual fantasies, even kinks, feel arousal etc and be ace if they know they don’t want to engage in actual sex with another person irl.
That’s totally me!
I find some people, especially some male PWDs, aesthetically attractive and in very very few occasions I felt some sort of arousal watching a real life PWD but that didn’t make me think at all about having sex with them.
I think those few moments of arousal have been exceptions that might put me maybe in the grey-sexual bunch but the truth is, I like PWDs in many ways (emotionally, aesthetically, or out of pure intellectual curiosity) but I’m not sexually attracted to anyone.
The whole ace thing is still new to me but very fascinating and I feel like I finally know myself.
I don’t know if that means I don’t qualify as a dev, I hope nevertheless my interests are close enough to most devs’ interests that I can still feel welcome here. PD is very important to me!

[Deleted]

Feb 16, 2020 10:07:30 GMT -5 LaMara said:

I know I will be a minority. I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately and as it happens I’m most definitely on the asexual spectrum.
Basically one can still have sexual fantasies, even kinks, feel arousal etc and be ace if they know they don’t want to engage in actual sex with another person irl.
That’s totally me!
I find some people, especially some male PWDs, aesthetically attractive and in very very few occasions I felt some sort of arousal watching a real life PWD but that didn’t make me think at all about having sex with them.
I think those few moments of arousal have been exceptions that might put me maybe in the grey-sexual bunch but the truth is, I like PWDs in many ways (emotionally, aesthetically, or out of pure intellectual curiosity) but I’m not sexually attracted to anyone.
The whole ace thing is still new to me but very fascinating and I feel like I finally know myself.
I don’t know if that means I don’t qualify as a dev, I hope nevertheless my interests are close enough to most devs’ interests that I can still feel welcome here. PD is very important to me!

Thanks for your honest reply. I set up the poll,as my attraction varies. Sometimes it can be sexual but other times it’s just an interest.
i don’t see a pwd and automatically want to jump on them, far too many other things have to align for that to happen.
I’m really glad for you that you’ve been able to analyse your feelings and find a way to be happy and comfortable with yourself x

[pam]

I have to agree with @delight. Sometimes it feels sexual and sometimes not.

It's hard for me to answer accurately since I've never dated or been close friends with a PWD. I answered yes because if I had a relationship with a PWD then it would be sexual. But that's not the first thing I think if when I see an attractive PWD. I think of how it would be to get to know him and go out with him, etc.

I had a wonderful dream last night of the most handsome wheeler smiling at me and me smiling back. That's all that happened but it made me feel good all day!

[Deleted]

I really can't say "Yes" or "No", I guess I will stick with "Varies". I think my devness is ever changing and fluctuating though.

I had a post typed up earlier but deleted it because I felt I was rambling about why or why not my devness is sexual or not.

I think over the years I have become a bit weary with the "is it sexual or not" really. I have explained many times what being a dev means to me.

I still stick with my being a dev not being primarily sexual. I don't think of my favorite PWD or preferred disability when having sex. I literally get off on other stuff, non vanilla and I have great sex that way.

I am a dev, my kind of dev and I am not less or more a dev because it is not primarily sexual. For me it's a deeply rooted feeling, a variety of emotions that can steer me in so many directions. It can be fun, it can be sad, it can be painful and it can be arousing. It is deep inside of me and always has been.

I am continously evolving and learning about myself and how I am wired. Being a dev is just one component of my personality. And it being not primarily sexual has nothing to do with shame or guilt about it. I am pretty shameless and selfish when it comes to what I like sexually.

Being a dev is not the driving force in my sexuality, it's possibly part of it and may overlap with other sexual interests but it is not how and why I enjoy sex.

Well, and here I rambled again, sorry 🙄...I feel I I used the word "sex" a lot 🤪 ironically while explaining my non sexual devness 😄

[Deleted]

Thanks Dani thats a really great description of the way i feel too.

[Deleted]

100% yes