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Post by Hopper on Feb 23, 2020 16:40:39 GMT -5
Perhaps the isolation comes when we stay home, avoid contact or new situations and let our illness or disability become the main focus. Its tough though to force yourself out of the comfort zone. Can't agree more with this. My natural inclination is to withdraw and stay in. I like going out and doing things, but I will always favor my routine and the places I know are "low-drama", so to speak. But I'm trying to grow as a person and not be the hermit wheelchair guy that just stays in all the time and does the same things day in and day out. So I've started making a point to get out of my comfort zone on the weekends. It's been great so far, and I never regret trying something new. But I do wish I had companions to do more stuff with. The whole meeting new people out in the world thing still eludes me. But, baby steps .. err... baby rolls? I'll get there. Withdrawal is just too easy at the best of times, so I sympathise. Finally getting out of your comfort zone on your own is fantastic but as you said, these things are better with friends sometimes. Out of interest, how are you breaking out of the comfort zone? But good friends are hard to find. Opening with a joke seems to help, as long as we ourselves aren't the joke.
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Post by bojangler on Feb 23, 2020 18:43:36 GMT -5
Out of interest, how are you breaking out of the comfort zone? I’ve found that Meetup is a great way to find new weekend activities I wouldn’t have otherwise known about. Not sure how widely used it is elsewhere, but in the DC area there’s quite a lot on there.
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Post by Hopper on Feb 24, 2020 13:14:06 GMT -5
Out of interest, how are you breaking out of the comfort zone? I’ve found that Meetup is a great way to find new weekend activities I wouldn’t have otherwise known about. Not sure how widely used it is elsewhere, but in the DC area there’s quite a lot on there. Yeah, there's a few things in my area worth checking out it seems, thanks for the heads up.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2020 19:24:17 GMT -5
Out of interest, how are you breaking out of the comfort zone? I’ve found that Meetup is a great way to find new weekend activities I wouldn’t have otherwise known about. Not sure how widely used it is elsewhere, but in the DC area there’s quite a lot on there. Do any of you from the UK know if something similar exists here ? It would be a great idea if there was an app where you could meet people in your area, just as friends/companions to do things together. Whether it’s going for dinner or to the cinema, museums , days out etc. All the things that just aren’t fun to do alone.
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Post by ProudRealist on Feb 24, 2020 19:28:20 GMT -5
I read a reply to another thread which got me thinking about this question. For the pwd ( or devs that have experienced a serious or long term illness) do you think your disability has brought you closer to family and friends or isolated you ? I would definitely say closer... in fact, as the days go by my family ties seem to grow more, especially with my siblings
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Post by Sir Paul on Feb 24, 2020 21:00:20 GMT -5
Great question. It's not a simple answer for me though - the proverbial double edged sword, if you will. First of all, I want to give all my friends the credit of being great people who feel a connection with me. As is usually the case, only a few on my "roster" of friends are close. There is that bridge that separates even the close friendships though. When my buddies hound me to go out or to a late night concert, they don't really understand what's it's like being short of breath all the time or the mind numbing ache my body feels after 4 hours in my chair. How can they possibly understand? I have several girl friends who consistently suggest activities that I can't do - trips out of town, late night events, all day things, etc. I'm pretty open about what I can and can't do, so it just tells me that they either aren't paying attention or don't know me very well. It does lead to a sense of isolation at times when NOBODY can relate, but I'm not going to dwell on it. It's not important, just annoying sometimes.
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Post by Hopper on Feb 25, 2020 2:49:37 GMT -5
I’ve found that Meetup is a great way to find new weekend activities I wouldn’t have otherwise known about. Not sure how widely used it is elsewhere, but in the DC area there’s quite a lot on there. Do any of you from the UK know if something similar exists here ? It would be a great idea if there was an app where you could meet people in your area, just as friends/companions to do things together. Whether it’s going for dinner or to the cinema, museums , days out etc. All the things that just aren’t fun to do alone. Had a look on Meetup and there are groups at several locations around the UK, all broken down into counties then towns. Trouble is, for a guy in a small town like me, even if you click that town you have to scroll through bigger areas.
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