KingRichard
Full Member
Posts: 200
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by KingRichard on Jul 19, 2020 8:18:53 GMT -5
I had some luck on platy of fish but still some good dating websites would be useful
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Post by feelsunshine on Jul 19, 2020 9:58:51 GMT -5
feelsunshine, if I only swiped right on PWDs I would have swiped right exactly zero times in all the time I've been on Tinder. So yes, I swipe right on AB people, but I guess it really depends on whether or not you see yourself dating AB guys as well? If that is completely out of the question for you, then there's no point swiping right. I personally couldn't limit myself to PWDs, because the chances of finding a PWD I'm compatible with are so slim, they're almost zero. So, if you can imagine dating AB guys, I would totally give some of those attractive and nice people a chance. But don't do it, just because you feel bad for them - that's not gonna help anyone  I'm curious how many PWDs you come across on Tinder? And I totally get your feelings about dating apps. I have an On and Off relationship with Tinder, too. if I see myself dating an AB guy, that’s also a decision I’m on and off with. I once in a while match AB guys on Tinder, go out on a date. But most of the times it ends up with me being upset because they are good guys, would even be somewhat compatible relationship “material” but still they don’t have “it”. And of course, my mind tells me that everything would be perfect if they were a PWD. Vicious circle basically. |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2020 19:08:23 GMT -5
The problem with most dating sites is that there is no search preference for ‘disability’. Match (dot com) do a separate disability site but it just seems to add profiles from other websites, I did meet my partner through it and another couple of pwd’s have become good friends, so it’s definitely possible.
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HottRodd
Junior Member
Posts: 65
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
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Post by HottRodd on Jul 20, 2020 17:08:58 GMT -5
I really dislike what Tinder and apps like this have done to the dating scene...
But it seems like the only place you can meet people today. If you approach people in bars/clubs you mostly get wierd looks. This was not the case 5-10 years ago.
So i use these apps a lot, to my dismay.
As i've written before PWDs (and ugly people in general) are at a MAJOR disadvantage here because of the superficial aspect of these apps. 90-95% of women disqualify you faster than you can say "I'll even pay for tinder gold!"
Have met a lot of people from them though. So they work, but you really need to put work in to make your profile as attractive as humanly possible, perfect pictures, funny bio etc, to compensate for the fact that you are crippled. If you just put up some lame pictures of yourself being spoonfed by your career/sitting and looking sad and gimpy etc, you might as well stay of them and don't waste your time.
It is really just a numbers game and the amount of time i waste on these apps is really horrific, but whats the alternative?
When i lived in a big town Germany i had a LOT more success with them and was going on dates every 2 weeks with a new woman. I know a lot of devs here are germans.
It really seems you germans do not mind PWDs as much, my theory have been all the WW2 invalids coming back with war wounds thats made a lasting impression. As we say in Sweden, Everything bad brings something good with it.
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rebeca
Full Member
Posts: 162
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
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Post by rebeca on Jul 20, 2020 18:59:48 GMT -5
feelsunshine , if I only swiped right on PWDs I would have swiped right exactly zero times in all the time I've been on Tinder. So yes, I swipe right on AB people, but I guess it really depends on whether or not you see yourself dating AB guys as well? If that is completely out of the question for you, then there's no point swiping right. I personally couldn't limit myself to PWDs, because the chances of finding a PWD I'm compatible with are so slim, they're almost zero. So, if you can imagine dating AB guys, I would totally give some of those attractive and nice people a chance. But don't do it, just because you feel bad for them - that's not gonna help anyone I'm curious how many PWDs you come across on Tinder? And I totally get your feelings about dating apps. I have an On and Off relationship with Tinder, too. Hard agree. I only saw one wheeler ONCE on tinder. He apparently is a minor celebrity paraplegic stunt motorcyclists who was breezing through NZ for a week or so. Never met him of course. |
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Post by feelsunshine on Jul 21, 2020 5:02:10 GMT -5
I really dislike what Tinder and apps like this have done to the dating scene... But it seems like the only place you can meet people today. If you approach people in bars/clubs you mostly get wierd looks. This was not the case 5-10 years ago. So i use these apps a lot, to my dismay. As i've written before PWDs (and ugly people in general) are at a MAJOR disadvantage here because of the superficial aspect of these apps. 90-95% of women disqualify you faster than you can say "I'll even pay for tinder gold!" Have met a lot of people from them though. So they work, but you really need to put work in to make your profile as attractive as humanly possible, perfect pictures, funny bio etc, to compensate for the fact that you are crippled. If you just put up some lame pictures of yourself being spoonfed by your career/sitting and looking sad and gimpy etc, you might as well stay of them and don't waste your time. It is really just a numbers game and the amount of time i waste on these apps is really horrific, but whats the alternative? When i lived in a big town Germany i had a LOT more success with them and was going on dates every 2 weeks with a new woman. I know a lot of devs here are germans. It really seems you germans do not mind PWDs as much, my theory have been all the WW2 invalids coming back with war wounds thats made a lasting impression. As we say in Sweden, Everything bad brings something good with it. Come back to Germany, I’d match you immediately on Tinder ;-) |
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Post by Inkdevil on Jul 21, 2020 7:20:53 GMT -5
Hearing a lot of negatives on here about dating sites generally and disabled dating sites specifically, but I’ve had good results from them. As HottRodd mentioned, you need a good, strong profile and I swear by this. The time you invest in creating your profile (including the picture) will reap rewards. Yes, there are fakers, time wasters and idiots on there and the companies who run the sites coin it in with steep monthly fees, but there are also genuine people in the same position as you on there, seeking a connection. It can be done. I always disclose in my profile that I’m a dev and I’ve never had negative feedback. I like to think I can temper any preconceived negativity by presenting myself as a regular person, with my dev side as just one of my many facets. I was always also upfront that I was looking for an acquired SCI paraplegic. Again, I like to think that I put this across in a non-creepy way and that there were other important qualities in a man I was seeking too. |
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Post by wheelzoffortune on Jul 21, 2020 11:54:31 GMT -5
Back when I was single, I used dating apps often with hardly any success. I mean, unless you call getting stood up a success. Let me see... OKCupid - I could get women to talk with me, but couldn't get any dates. Match.com - I couldn't even get people to talk with me. Coffee Meets Bagel - Could get people to talk with me, but no dates. Whispers4u - Had a woman tell me that I should be in a relationship with her because I wasn't going to get anyone else Tinder - I could get dates, but would always get stood up. Most often people would match me and then not say a word. Bumble - This was better in the sense that women were more receptive to having conversations, but I was not able to get any dates with the app. PlentyOfFish - I guess you could say that I had the most success with PoF because I met my first g/f on there. She was abusive and stole from me, though, soooooooo... There were several others, too, but I can't remember the names. FWIW, I paid for the "premium" memberships on several dating apps/sites and it didn't seem to help at all. I actually talked about dating app usage as a wheelchair user in on of my YouTube vids at the beginning of the year. A friend and I discussed what the right etiquette is for photos. Do you put a photo of yourself sitting in the wheelchair as the first picture or do you put it second? Some people only look at the first picture, so if you go according to that then it makes sense to put the wheelchair picture first. However, by putting the wheelchair picture first it is almost as if you are saying "my wheelchair is all that there is to me", which is of course not true. My friend even mentioned that some of the women he went out with from dating apps didn't realize he used a wheelchair UNTIL the date even though he had pictures of it on his profile. *shrug* |
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KingRichard
Full Member
Posts: 200
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by KingRichard on Jul 21, 2020 12:10:58 GMT -5
Back when I was single, I used dating apps often with hardly any success. I mean, unless you call getting stood up a success. Let me see... OKCupid - I could get women to talk with me, but couldn't get any dates. Match.com - I couldn't even get people to talk with me. Coffee Meets Bagel - Could get people to talk with me, but no dates. Whispers4u - Had a woman tell me that I should be in a relationship with her because I wasn't going to get anyone else Tinder - I could get dates, but would always get stood up. Most often people would match me and then not say a word. Bumble - This was better in the sense that women were more receptive to having conversations, but I was not able to get any dates with the app. PlentyOfFish - I guess you could say that I had the most success with PoF because I met my first g/f on there. She was abusive and stole from me, though, soooooooo... There were several others, too, but I can't remember the names. FWIW, I paid for the "premium" memberships on several dating apps/sites and it didn't seem to help at all. I actually talked about dating app usage as a wheelchair user in on of my YouTube vids at the beginning of the year. A friend and I discussed what the right etiquette is for photos. Do you put a photo of yourself sitting in the wheelchair as the first picture or do you put it second? Some people only look at the first picture, so if you go according to that then it makes sense to put the wheelchair picture first. However, by putting the wheelchair picture first it is almost as if you are saying "my wheelchair is all that there is to me", which is of course not true. My friend even mentioned that some of the women he went out with from dating apps didn't realize he used a wheelchair UNTIL the date even though he had pictures of it on his profile. *shrug* This is more or less what I have experience with dating sites I have had more luck with PlentyOfFish but the most I have gotten out of it is just talking to people but I did have a date with a person who had the same disabilities as me but she stood me up it take me four hours on bus to meet her so I was not happy about it |
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Post by someonerandom on Jul 21, 2020 12:37:00 GMT -5
I use Bumble, Tinder, and OKC. I’ve had success on all of them and don’t have a preference. The main problem I run into is that I’m non-monogamous, and that closes many doors for me. I’m sure the wheelchair plays into it too, but i think the poly thing gets me more left swipes.
I recently tried the Hinge app but didn’t like it. There is no profile so I don’t get a good summary on people.
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Post by feelsunshine on Jul 21, 2020 12:42:54 GMT -5
I hate when people just don’t show up or cancel last minute. Same thing when you agree to meet irl but afterwards they never reply again. So, why did they agree on meeting in the first place? You should think we’re all adults there and can be honest if we think it won’t work out. But it’s more like kindergarten sometimes!
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KingRichard
Full Member
Posts: 200
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by KingRichard on Jul 21, 2020 14:59:41 GMT -5
I hate when people just don’t show up or cancel last minute. Same thing when you agree to meet irl but afterwards they never reply again. So, why did they agree on meeting in the first place? You should think we’re all adults there and can be honest if we think it won’t work out. But it’s more like kindergarten sometimes! Agreed if someone does not want to meet you it better to say so before you go on the date |
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Garrett
New Member
Posts: 14
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by Garrett on Sept 24, 2020 21:34:08 GMT -5
I figure it was better to post in an old red instead of starting a new one. I've been using Tinder, Pof, OKC, etc for the last few months and have only had contact from scammers or those selling content. it's very frustrating to me and it's hard to not let it get to me. Maybe I have terrible profiles? I don't know. But like others have said, it seems like this is the main way people date nowadays.
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Post by ContingentlyComposite on Sept 24, 2020 23:21:34 GMT -5
Hey Garrett! I feel you, the online dating world is so frustrating. But I agree it's the easiest way to meet new people for dating purposes these days. I really think having a really good profile is absolutely necessary, especially for men (unfair, I know). I've used dating sites A LOT in the past and I personally will just flip past any profiles that don't demonstrate (as much as possible, and without explicitly listing) a lot of the qualities I'm looking for in a partner, and make me feel like we might have a similar sense of humor. While there are plenty of great guys out there with less than stellar profiles (some of my closest friends included!)--I, and I think a lot of other women, feel like dating apps are such a time drain that it's really not worth the effort to message with guys with lacking profiles. It's well worth the effort to develop a profile that really shows off your personality. There are some great posts on PD with tips about profiles, although I can't remember now which threads they showed up on... I'd be happy to offer more specific advice about your profile if you'd like feedback on them too. I have a lot of opinions about profiles.  (By the way, your PD pic great! You should use that as one of your profile pictures if you aren't already!) |
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Post by kat on Sept 25, 2020 7:10:17 GMT -5
I've used dating sites A LOT in the past and I personally will just flip past any profiles that don't demonstrate (as much as possible, and without explicitly listing) a lot of the qualities I'm looking for in a partner, and make me feel like we might have a similar sense of humor. You just managed to verbalize something I've always disliked about dating profiles but haven't been able to put into words - the fact that a LOT of people will just list qualities they think other people might find attractive ("I'm honest, outgoing and have a good sense of humor...") instead of actually demonstrating them. The "show, don't tell" approach really does work better, I think. (By the way, your PD pic great! You should use that as one of your profile pictures if you aren't already!) I agree with this! |
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I'm curious how many PWDs you come across on Tinder?
(By the way, your PD pic great! You should use that as one of your profile pictures if you aren't already!) 