Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2021 18:13:36 GMT -5
This is an interesting thread, some good things to think about when I create a profile in the future. I think I had a POF one once but I didn't use it much. I've had most of my luck on FB on Fetlife, although fet is a little overwhelming.
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Post by atlwheelin on Mar 3, 2021 19:19:32 GMT -5
Like British, I’ve spent well into the thousands in the last handful of years on attempts to find a match on a traditional dating site. It’s single handedly done the most damage to my self esteem.
Don’t do the disability specific ones. You’re guaranteed nothing but scammers. EHarmony is alright and I’ve gotten a couple of replies back, but folks paying that much for a subscription know exactly what they’re type is, and a disability is like not one of those types. I’d totally sign up for a PWD/Dev dating app!
Swipe right/left? Facebook dating? Don’t think I’ve ever had a match in all of them combined
Check, please
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Phila
Junior Member
Posts: 52
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by Phila on Mar 20, 2021 13:05:03 GMT -5
I've some extensive experience with regards to online dating.
I've been on Tinder, Bumble and several dating websites ranging from mainstream to that of the niche 'disability' orientated. I find that I don't often find it hard to get into an exchange of messages. But when they come to realise that I have a disability, their interest tends to waver. This of course, is in conjunction to the mainstream websites and apps. As for the disabled orientated sites; there are more times than not - filled with fake profiles to provide the illusion that there are more viable members than there actually are.
I've only ever dated ABs but none were ever a Dev (or not to my knowledge). I met them either during my studies, or by unusual means through shared similar interests.
If there were such an app targeted for PWD/DEVs then it would be great. But my pessimism would question whether there would be enough in terms of numbers for such an application to be sustainable considering there is already a lack of forums/groups much like this one?
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Post by atlwheelin on Mar 23, 2021 5:06:57 GMT -5
I've some extensive experience with regards to online dating. I've been on Tinder, Bumble and several dating websites ranging from mainstream to that of the niche 'disability' orientated. I find that I don't often find it hard to get into an exchange of messages. But when they come to realise that I have a disability, their interest tends to waver. This of course, is in conjunction to the mainstream websites and apps. As for the disabled orientated sites; they are more times than not filled with fake profiles to provide the illusion that there are more viable members than there actually are. I've only ever dated ABs but none were ever a Dev (or not to my knowledge). I met them either during my studies, or by unusual means through shared similar interests. If there were such an app targeted for PWD/DEVs then it would be great. But my pessimism would question whether there would be enough in terms of numbers for such an application to be sustainable considering there is already a lack of forums/groups much like this one? I don’t even entertain the disability specific sites any longer. I’m not even sure anyone on there that isn’t clearly visibly disabled is a real person, and it’s absolutely bonkers that they have so many people with paid memberships on these places and no authority sorting through fake profiles. The real issue is quite simply breaking the stigma that dating someone with a disability is taboo. The mind naturally goes to all the things the person can’t do or won’t be able to do once that issue is brought to light for an AB, rather than the mind coming up with alternative ways to enjoy the same experience. Is it possible with everything? Of course not. I’ll never be a mountain climber or kayaker. I wouldn’t be a match for someone with that lifestyle, but neither would a non athletic average joe. I just wish compatibility wasn’t overruled by the stigma
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robert_house
Full Member
Posts: 103
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by robert_house on Mar 29, 2021 13:11:50 GMT -5
Like British, I’ve spent well into the thousands in the last handful of years on attempts to find a match on a traditional dating site. It’s single handedly done the most damage to my self esteem Same. I briefly paid for premium membership on OkCupid, and it was a complete waste of time and money. So far, my strategy has been to be upfront about the disability. I get maybe 15 or 20 likes. Hell, I'll even get a match occasionally. But then almost nobody responds. I have heard that it's hard for guys in general though. It's tough to even get noticed when your competition is a perfectly sculpted Greek god. I have also heard that Approximately 80% of the women go for approximately 20% of the guys.
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Post by Utahquad on Mar 29, 2021 18:24:09 GMT -5
I'm waiting for the right moment to strike and I will be back on tinder. I haven't personally met any devotees but I have had a couple of dates mostly just chilling at my place. Nothing overly serious, but made a couple of friends that I guess have now fallen more onto the extra benefits side of things. Once I get my vaccine and feel more comfortable I will be putting myself out there more. So who knows what the future will hold.
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Post by ichbin on Apr 16, 2022 7:36:55 GMT -5
If there were such an app targeted for PWD/DEVs then it would be great. But my pessimism would question whether there would be enough in terms of numbers for such an application to be sustainable considering there is already a lack of forums/groups much like this one? To invent such an App is something I am thinking about. Wouldn't that be amazing? But - like you said - how to get the amount of people you need for such an app... So first it is important, I think, to write a book... with interviews, with experiences, of both female Devs and male PWD... (at least that´s what I'd be interested in)... to evoke interest, to have this book being given to all PWD men in hospitals after their accidents... via social media "gather" all the women that are hiding their Devness, infant of others and probably also many infront of themselves (shame, guilt...) It would be such a great field to work in and bring a vision to life.... but, as it is with visions, it takes more than one person to make them real. This would be a dream come true for me - to make a vision I share with my partner real, together. If this partner was a PWD, let's say a Paraplegic - I think this would be the best which could ever happen to me!
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Magnus
New Member
Posts: 42
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by Magnus on Apr 17, 2022 13:38:25 GMT -5
I have NO idea how this website, and the communication on it works. If someone could enlighten me, I'd be happy. I mean, don't you usually want to reply to a specific comment? But it seems like the only thing you can do is to post a comment on the bottom, like this. And these threads build so very slowly, so that the last comment might be from yesterday, but four comments up you're already in 2019. If I write something here, will the people in the thread notice? It seems so very arbitrary, and non-dynamic.
Anywho! There IS a dating app for PWD/DEVs! Maybe you guys have found out about it by now?
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Post by lisa on Apr 17, 2022 14:07:35 GMT -5
Magnus, sometimes old threads get bumped up and this shouldn't be a bad thing in my opinion, because this way newer members have the possibility to read older discussions and maybe chime in. A board is not an instant messaging service, that's true. But being a slower form of communication also has its advantages, for example being able to express complex thoughts in longer messages. Sexuality, devness and disability are complex topics, as far as I'm concerned. I like this form of communication. It has been around for many years and is still active, I'm sure that counts for something. ETA: If you want to reply to a specific post, you can always quote the relevant part of the post or link the author of the post, as I have done at the beginning of this one. I'm not aware of a dating app specifically for PWDs and devs, at least not an English one. What is it called?
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Post by Dani on Apr 17, 2022 15:42:14 GMT -5
I agree with lisa Magnus This board is what the people here make it. It needs participation and interest from its members. Whoever is sincerely interested in all things PWD and dev will find a great community here and it's up to each person how much they want to put in or how important this is for them. If people look at it as just a quick site to jump on and try to meet people, they will be disappointed.
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Magnus
New Member
Posts: 42
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by Magnus on Apr 21, 2022 1:41:06 GMT -5
lisa Dani (Do these handles work?) Here's the dating app! MyHandy Plus myhandyplus.com/It's in French. The text is stupidly small. And the functions don't work well. And there's a lot of fake profiles. But! It's a real app, developed my a small team, who do this for real (I've spoken to them). And it's going to be better! It's a question of time, and funding. Anyway, it's a great initiative.
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Post by ichbin on Apr 21, 2022 2:18:17 GMT -5
lisa Dani (Do these handles work?) Here's the dating app! MyHandy Plus myhandyplus.com/It's in French. The text is stupidly small. And the functions don't work well. And there's a lot of fake profiles. But! It's a real app, developed my a small team, who do this for real (I've spoken to them). And it's going to be better! It's a question of time, and funding. Anyway, it's a great initiative. Cool initiative, this App. I don't speak French at all, though. 🤷♀️
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Post by lisa on Apr 21, 2022 6:41:09 GMT -5
Thank you for sharing. As far as I understand, it's a dating app for disabled people and others, who are open minded. I didn't find a mention of devs specifically, but maybe there is the possibility to indicate that you're a dev? Have you tried the app? There are quite a few dating sites out there for PWDs, in a number of languages, some of them also offer their services as apps. At least the one I used always showed quite some reservation to let devs join openly, at least in the boards there it is sometimes frowned upon if devs use this dating site. So I'd be interested if this is different with the myhandyplus app?
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masareth
New Member
Posts: 9
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled
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Post by masareth on Apr 21, 2022 12:20:12 GMT -5
Like British, I’ve spent well into the thousands in the last handful of years on attempts to find a match on a traditional dating site. It’s single handedly done the most damage to my self esteem Same. I briefly paid for premium membership on OkCupid, and it was a complete waste of time and money. So far, my strategy has been to be upfront about the disability. I get maybe 15 or 20 likes. Hell, I'll even get a match occasionally. But then almost nobody responds. I have heard that it's hard for guys in general though. It's tough to even get noticed when your competition is a perfectly sculpted Greek god. I have also heard that Approximately 80% of the women go for approximately 20% of the guys. There are way more PWDs than devs, so I think any specific app would pretty much be the same experience for us disabled guys - 80%/20% would be optimistic! Would be great for devs though and I would still definitely take my chances. I was on/off dating sites for 5 years after coming out before meeting my husband on OKCupid. I had 1 date in that time which went nowhere. Before that I dabbled a bit but not being out was probably a bigger barrier than anything. I'm completely upfront about the disability because it is a core part of my identity. And if seeing a wheelchair puts them off there's no getting round that! I often compare online dating to signing up to be repeatedly punched in the face. And here I am eagerly signing up for some more face-punching! I guess I do now know that if I keep trying I can actually succeed! Just need to get lucky a second time...
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robert_house
Full Member
Posts: 103
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by robert_house on Apr 21, 2022 12:30:45 GMT -5
I have to admit, I kind of originally came here looking for dates, but I don't consider it like being face punched here at all. The thing about places like this is that you can make friends along the way and not really worry about your original objective. So if you find a date, great! If you don't, well at least the people are nice. Swipe culture in online dating completely removes the possibility of making friends. There was actually one person who didn't work out who I am still Facebook friends with, but people like that are super rare.
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