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Post by sungod on Jul 16, 2020 15:34:38 GMT -5
I’ve recently met someone locally that has previously dated a quad and a para. We’re just chatting, so it’s very casual. Would it be a good or bad idea to ask if she’s a dev? I mean, there’s an incredibly good chance considering the history, but there’s an off chance it could be coincidence. Or even that she’s just comfortable with it.
Would devs feel irritated to be called out?
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HottRodd
Junior Member
Posts: 65
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
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Post by HottRodd on Jul 16, 2020 15:47:00 GMT -5
In my humble opinion, Don't do it. Let her bring it up if she wants to but just proceed as you normally would do with a "Normal" girl.
Very big chance that she is considering she has dated not one, but 2 crips before, as the old saying goes: "Once you go wheels you'll fall head over heels"
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KingRichard
Full Member
Posts: 200
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by KingRichard on Jul 16, 2020 16:09:49 GMT -5
I agree with HottRodd I would wait until both of you get to know each other better first
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Post by missparkle on Jul 16, 2020 16:51:16 GMT -5
Would devs feel irritated to be called out? I think it depends on where she is with her devness. But since she already "confessed to you her sins", dating two SCI guys, my wild guess is that she might be ok with it. If she wanted she could have kept that from you, right?! If she is a dev, she is as concerned about your reaction as you are about hers, if not more! For me, personally, it would be enormous relief, if guy would bring it up and I wouldn't have to! I would be extremely grateful for that! It's such a relief to be able to acknowledge the elephant in the room! If I were you, I would not ask straight "Are you a dev?", but I would definitely bring up the subject. Maybe you should ask her if there is something that she particularly likes about wheelers, being all relaxed and flirty and cool with it, so it's obvious for her you were positive about devs. She will appreciate it.
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Post by myrrh on Jul 16, 2020 17:00:16 GMT -5
If someone asked me if I was a dev based upon my dating history, I'm pretty sure my soul would exit my body. Are quad hands good for CPR?
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Post by mona on Jul 16, 2020 17:21:03 GMT -5
It depends on how close you are. You describe your relationship as "casual". I don't understand what exactly that means to you.
If you are close enough to have a conversation about what she finds hot about her romantic partners, then it's fine to gently ask whether she's familiar with the concept of devness.
Personally, I would find it intrusive if someone spoke out openly their assumptions about my preferences based on the physical aspects of my exes.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 16, 2020 18:44:05 GMT -5
It’s a difficult one to answer. On one hand I’d like to be open with a partner about being a dev but if I was specifically asked the question, then I’d probably panic and deny it. Maybe see how things progress between the two of you but also ask yourself ‘does it matter either way’ ? Probably a question not worth asking in case you make her feel uncomfortable.
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Post by rebeckers84 on Jul 16, 2020 19:56:54 GMT -5
I’d go with no. If she wants to tell you at some point she will. Like someone mentioned it’s going to depend where she’s at with it. Maybe if you continue talking you can bring up this site or something and it sill help her explore a little more. But I would not want someone outright asking me.
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Post by Manda2212 on Jul 16, 2020 21:08:08 GMT -5
I would personally like it if a guy asked and I didn't have to broach the subject, especially if he had a dev-positive attitude. I agree with missparkle's idea of how to bring it up.
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Post by AlrightyAphrodite on Jul 16, 2020 22:31:30 GMT -5
I agree with miss sparkle. She may not know the term or identify with it so I'd bring it up in a way that gives her some options in the conversation. I agree it would be relieving for a guy to broach the subject. The first time a guy asked me if I was a dev I did feel like my heart was busting from my chest. It gets easier with time.
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Post by Braced4Impact on Jul 16, 2020 23:12:06 GMT -5
I wonder if there's a way to mention it without mention it, like that you've heard of devs and think they're cool if the opportunity presents itself or something.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2020 1:52:42 GMT -5
In my current age and where I am at in my life, I wouldn't mind one bit if someone asks me if I am dev. If in some other life 😉 I would be in this same situation as stated in the original comment above, yes, I would also be okay if the guy asked me if I was a dev. But that is me... My question is how has this woman previously already "found" two PWD to date...where are all the PWD at 😉
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KingRichard
Full Member
Posts: 200
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by KingRichard on Jul 17, 2020 8:48:51 GMT -5
I’d go with no. If she wants to tell you at some point she will. Like someone mentioned it’s going to depend where she’s at with it. Maybe if you continue talking you can bring up this site or something and it sill help her explore a little more. But I would not want someone outright asking me. Agreed most people don't know what a devotee is I only find out about devotees about over a year ago and I have been disabled all of my life I would wait until you get deeper into the relationship first before asking that question
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Post by infinatedreams on Jul 17, 2020 9:45:51 GMT -5
I'd let her tell you ...and if she does and you are in that moment where she pushes you over the edge, that edge most other women cant get you to and you blurt out 'ooof you fooking dev bitch' ... you and her will be glad she did tell you, or so I would imagine 😇
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Post by sungod on Jul 17, 2020 9:56:10 GMT -5
'ooof you fooking dev bitch' I don't see this coming out of my mouth.
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