|
Post by myrrh on Sept 20, 2020 14:23:37 GMT -5
With all due respect Amee, I appreciate that you're looking to be constructive but you've missed my point. This was a response to Manda2212 to coming in and blaming the "social justice brigade." What happened with Dani is deeply regrettable, but I maintain that it's essentially a result of emotional stress from the tense times we're living through. For Manda2212 to come out of left field and make it political is inappropriate, not to mention disrespectful given that Dani was one of the more liberal members of the board. It's gross opportunism to make the conversation about her own political agenda. I conceded I could have been kinder in my first post. I did close it by wishing her the best. You'll also find the bulk of my first post was about admitting I was wrong and changing my opinion- something I think the world needs more of. Remember, this all started because someone was venting frustration about a PWD-specific experience, and Dani posted a dissenting opinion that was found to be hurtful by another PWD. This same thing happened to me a while ago, I listened to how my opinion was poorly founded, and I grew from it. That is what I brought to the conversation, and I was happy to leave it there until this thread got inappropriately hijacked by politics. I do also reserve the right to be annoyed as hell when someone creates a thread to complain about being personally attacked, after complaining multiple times in multiple threads about people being "too touchy" and too easily offended. It's possible to offer someone sympathy while also reminding them to practice what they preach.
|
|
|
Post by missparkle on Sept 20, 2020 14:53:21 GMT -5
Dani was, over the years, one of the most active members of PD, one of the constants that make a spine of this place and I am very sorry to see her leave. To lose valuable members like her is not a luxury we can afford in small and unique community like this one. That said, it's not really about who is right and who is wrong. Can't we just be more tolerant of different opinions and perspectives and kind and nice to each other? PD should not be the place where anyone is treated like punching bag for all our frustrations, that many of us experience lately. In all those fights for personal rights, freedom of this and that, political correctness on one thing or another, we became so militant, that we forget one thing, to be kind to each other. It makes me truly sad that of all places it's PD where we experience lack of tolerance. It makes me wonder what are we preaching here anyway...
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 20, 2020 15:09:35 GMT -5
Im reading so many excuses and justification along with supportive posts. There is no justification for anyone to feel like their only option is to delete their account. We cannot be responsible for peoples happiness but we can damn well try not to be responsible for their sadness.
|
|
|
Post by limplegs on Sept 20, 2020 15:26:19 GMT -5
As someone who doesn't really post here a whole lot, I feel like Troy in that one episode of community.
|
|
|
Post by LaMara on Sept 20, 2020 15:43:40 GMT -5
I came to the thread late and there's some vitriol going on. I don't understand why politics had to be brought to the table but perhaps it's because I'm not from the US?
Regardless, I'm just sad that I didn't have the time to reach out to one of the people I've always looked up to on PD. I don't care if it was the result of a proper attack or if she overreacted or if it's all or in part due to anxiety and depression, it's not up to me to say if dani leaving was justified or not, or if someone specific was to blame. I just want her to maybe read what we're pretty much all saying, that we hope she comes back eventually and that we will miss her.
As someone who is constantly battling with depression, feelings of worthlessness, paranoid ideas that everyone despises me, it's not easy to come on this board and open up to strangers, share my most secret thoughts, risking to be attacked, ridiculed, heavily criticised. Maybe it will never happen, maybe it will and it might be purely overreaction on my part, but it's scary nonetheless. I feel vulnerable here, but I allow myself to be vulnerable because this is such a precious place. I'm sure lots of people here feel vulnerable, too. So just be kind, please. Is it so freaking hard?
|
|
|
Post by infinatedreams on Sept 20, 2020 17:01:53 GMT -5
I said earlier it was a fucking shame dani felt she had to leave, for whatever reason that is it still remains a shame. .it is also a fucking shame that it has now descended into a slanging match. For a group who are generally marginalised and at times even demonised to be arguing among ourselves is shameful. Politics have no place here, i have learned a lot about devs and myself from conversations here. I hope that continues to be the case going forward and we can get back to being individuals (with indivdual beliefs) with a common purpose that we can all share and enjoy rather than he said she said. We wont always agree, but hey thats life, say your peace in a respectful manner and move on.
and always remember the saying that rings true. let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
|
|
|
Post by rebeckers84 on Sept 20, 2020 22:35:03 GMT -5
We lost Dani!?!?! Good lord, wtf happened!?!!!?!? I haven’t been on much the last few days..... 😢😢😢 so sad
.... going to try to read all this to catch up now
|
|
|
Post by Green on Sept 20, 2020 22:50:57 GMT -5
I find this whole thing insane and blown out of proportion. Dani was unjustifiably attacked by someonerandom basically and I guess there was one other incident that bothered her. She has been around for a very long time though, so I sincerely doubt that had anything to do with it. There's probably something else going on that's also bothering her, and it was just the final straw of what would otherwise be something that would roll right off of her. Something is up, so all I can say is that I hope she can find the support she needs.
As far as I can tell, the vast majority of people like Dani and wish her very well. I like her too, and I hope she comes back. I can tell people are very supportive here, and I hope she can see the majority are like that.
If somebody feels genuinely unjustifiably attacked, they should report the post. I've been a moderator before other places, and one thing that made my thankless job more difficult was that no one would use the report button. It makes things more calm and easier.
|
|
|
Post by Braced4Impact on Sept 20, 2020 23:07:10 GMT -5
Dani, had I known the post would have turned into that, I would never have posted, and I'm sorry you left. I've left before and come back, too, so I hope you eventually do the same. You're a valued member here, and I feel awful that this happened.
|
|
raindrop
Full Member
Posts: 244
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Married/Domestic partnership
|
Post by raindrop on Sept 20, 2020 23:20:13 GMT -5
Dear Dani, I am sorry that people hurt you, and treated you badly. I want you to know that I will miss you so much! I really wish we had been able to meet up last Christmas, and hope that one day you will reach out to me so that we can continue being friends. You were of the first to reach out to welcome me, and always there for me. I won’t forget. Heal up my friend! Know that lots of people are missing you! Lots of love, Rainy.
|
|
|
Post by IcarusFellOnce on Sept 21, 2020 0:24:27 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by darthoso on Sept 21, 2020 0:58:08 GMT -5
I don't mean to discount anyone's personal responsibility for their own actions with what I'm about to say, but I think it is still worth saying even though I don't have a solution.
The world is on fire, and we as a society are collectively not handling it well, at all. From the 14 things happening in politics where terms like civil war are being thrown around casually, to an economy that looks like a drug addict about to OD, COVID, to climate change impacting the coasts. Why are we punching each other? Because we're humans and that's what humans do when we get a little tense, we can't help ourselves, and it is only going to get worse in the next few months and we all know why. And before anyone say they wouldn't do that, it's probably because you aren't in the other person's shoes living through their stressors. Since September 11th I've heard veterans say America isn't at war, America is at the mall, while they fight and die. And to their credit they've handled that lack of respect remarkably well. With COVID, we're all at war now and the risk of death is something that touches everyone. We've all sacrificed in our own ways to fight this thing, so when someone playfully down plays it, it shows a lack of respect to those who've sacrificed more, especially since it only makes things worse. So am I surprised that person got hit hard, no, society has a long history of that to shape behavior, it's what religion is, a set of rules to get society through rough conditions, it's why the harshest religions come from the harshest climates. I'm not saying it is good, but again, this what happens in this environment.
It sucks that the stressors of our environment are impacting PD, but it was inevitable. I don't have any advice beyond hope it gets better (and take action in your own way to reduce the stressors). Until then, next time someone throws a punch, obviously ask the victim if they're okay, maybe asking the person who threw the punch if they are okay too. The answer is probably no.
/end ramble trying to make sense of the flames.
|
|
|
Post by blueskye101 on Sept 21, 2020 5:57:51 GMT -5
Dani, I hope you will come back after you have taken a break. We started here pretty close same time and always like to hear your opinions and views on what’s happening. Of course we don’t always agree but I do value your opinion and to see you back when you can.
|
|
|
Post by gshotta on Sept 21, 2020 11:34:19 GMT -5
If anyone knows dani even slightly will know that political and religious stuff would be the furthest thing from her mind when commenting on a post in a group like this
|
|
|
Post by Dr. BiPAP Sachin on Sept 21, 2020 12:41:48 GMT -5
Update: I just reached out to Dani outside of PD. She said that she needs some time before even reconsidering coming back to the board, and I think we should all respectfully give her whatever time she needs. Frankly, I don't blame her as I'm highly disappointed that some areas of this forum have turned into politically scorched earth. Whatever happened to disagreeing without being disagreeable? I thought we were supposed to build consensus amongst ourselves, not tear each other down.
|
|