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Post by ayla on Aug 17, 2021 21:17:59 GMT -5
I think the reason itās so hard to contribute is that sometimes it feels like literally e v e r y t h I n g can be devvy with the right partner. Seriously, we just love it all!
Secondly, itās a vulnerable thing to share. Non dev friends would never understand, and even PWDs are sometimes totally baffled.
But ok, Iāll try to get things going with some of The Classics š
-going for a walk while holding hands (love that one-handed pushing) -putting my feet in his lap for a footrub after a long day -traveling together and navigating unfamiliar places as a team -going for a drive and watching him use hand controls -sitting in his lap at an outdoor event like a street fair -playing āfootsieā under the table at a cafe -hanging out together at home while he repairs/maintains his wheelchair -doing a workout together -spending a day at the pool (lots of eye candy between bathing suit, transfers, and swimming) *blush* -casually touching his shoulders -seeing my little dog curled up on his lap -watching him put on/remove braces, shoes -cheering him on while he competes in sport, or even trying something new together like skiing/sit-ski lesson -attending any event (wedding, work function) where weād be seen togetherā¦not for the reasons some might expect, like getting attention or āoh look at me Iām such an open minded personā š¤®š ā more for the exhilarating novelty of being seen with someone I desire.
Come on devs, step up and share š
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Post by koala on Aug 18, 2021 0:45:53 GMT -5
I relate very much to what ayla said, so I'll try to only include ones that are different.
My first one is something that actually happened to me, but I would so love for it to happen again. We were at an amusement park and went on a ferris-wheel type of ride. It didn't have anywhere to put your feet, so you had to hold your legs up when the ride started and let them dangle the rest of the time. Obviously, he couldn't hold his legs up, so I reached over with one of mine and lifted them up for him. That moment was sooooo devvy for me and will forever be etched in my memory to re-live over and over.
My other one is just a simple tender moment. He's sitting on the couch with his feet up, and I'm lying next to him with my head in his lap and my hand on his legs as he strokes my face and hair. There's something very sensual about touching and being touched by the parts of his amazing body that look/move differently. In those moments, I feel so relaxed and connected to him.
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Post by koala on Aug 18, 2021 1:05:47 GMT -5
Oh, another one is just being out and about together. I catch glimpses of us in shop windows or cars as we pass by, brush against his wheelchair when we stop to look at something (which always gives me a bit of a thrill), and kiss him every chance I get. He looks so sexy in his wheelchair, and I am so proud and happy to be with him...I want everyone to see how cute we are together and know how lucky I am to be with such an incredible man.
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martink
Junior Member
Posts: 63
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by martink on Aug 18, 2021 20:22:01 GMT -5
Hmmmm! š These responses made me smile. Itās reassuring and comforting to know, that we donāt need to do anything, to be attractive, except be ourselves.
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Post by ayla on Aug 19, 2021 14:51:01 GMT -5
[mention]koala [/mention] those are beautiful vignettes of your life together, thank you for sharing. Nobody else wants to chime in?? As [mention]martink [/mention] said, isnāt this one of the main reasons we are all here, because we think about these things in our own special devvy way?
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Post by SouthernCalGal on Aug 19, 2021 18:01:10 GMT -5
I am a romantic by nature so although I have so many sexual fantasies it's also the things leading up to those fantasies that often get me all devvy. I have this fantasy of meeting a PWD that I have a crush on. I would need to travel by airplane to see him. I think about the anticipation of getting on the plane and fantasizing about how the meeting would go. My devvy feelings begin to soar as I am on the plane. The feeling of butterflies in my stomach are so great as I am getting off the plane and then the first sight - him waiting for me and me walking towards him. My dev feelings are raging by this time, I can anticipate the look on both of our faces. I dream about a soft caress on his cheek with a deep kiss on his lips. Yikes, that gives me butterflies just thinking about it. I play this out often. Back hugs and straddle hugs are always in my mind. Cuddling while out at a movie, back hugs while visiting places of interest. My fantasies have a lot of fun activities in them. I also think cuddling on a stormy day, holding hands, watching Netflix. I often wonder how I would actually respond IRL. Would I spontaneously combust from overwhelming feelings? Can't wait to see one day.
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Post by infinatedreams on Aug 20, 2021 16:26:15 GMT -5
I often wonder how I would actually respond IRL. Would I spontaneously combust from overwhelming feelings? Can't wait to see one day. YES .... but dont fear, after the 5th or 6th spontaneous combustion you'll regain your composure and be on that ticket bookin app licketedly split .... oh and get an air miles card š
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Post by britishtetra on Aug 22, 2021 16:35:07 GMT -5
I am sat in my wheelchair outside my home, anticipating the arrival of my date. We have been chatting for awhile, and I thought itāl nice to go out. I have dressed for the occasion, jeans, desert boots and a rugby shirt, British Lions red naturally. A car pulls up, my jaw drops when I view her for the first time. Dad comes out to say cheerio, āBring him back by midnight, else heāll turn into a pumpkin.ā He said. āThanks.ā I say. I have given the carer leave just to drop us off, and pick us later. Its a country pub nearby; either The Red Lion or The Coach And Horses. I opt for The Coach, big patio. There are many people watching, staring as I manoeuvre my electric wheelchair in and out of tables. I can see some of the guys peering over, thinking why is she with him! Finally we sit opposite each other. We order a ploughmanās lunch and a pint for me and wine for my friend. Here comes the crunch, āI canāt feed myself!ā I say. āThatās okay, Iāll do it.āā¦ Throughout the afternoon she laughs at my crap jokes, smiles at my sea lion laugh, and doesnāt try to choke me when I say something stupid. (Iām useless with Alcohol) Afterwards I could phone the carer, but I sayā¦ āIts two miles to home, Iāve got a full charge, its sunny and Iām wearing sun glassesāā¦ āHit itāā¦ she says knowing the Blues Brothers quote. ā¦
Pete š
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martink
Junior Member
Posts: 63
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by martink on Aug 23, 2021 16:34:09 GMT -5
I am sat in my wheelchair outside my home, anticipating the arrival of my date. We have been chatting for awhile, and I thought itāl nice to go out. I have dressed for the occasion, jeans, desert boots and a rugby shirt, British Lions red naturally. A car pulls up, my jaw drops when I view her for the first time. Dad comes out to say cheerio, āBring him back by midnight, else heāll turn into a pumpkin.ā He said. āThanks.ā I say. I have given the carer leave just to drop us off, and pick us later. Its a country pub nearby; either The Red Lion or The Coach And Horses. I opt for The Coach, big patio. There are many people watching, staring as I manoeuvre my electric wheelchair in and out of tables. I can see some of the guys peering over, thinking why is she with him! Finally we sit opposite each other. We order a ploughmanās lunch and a pint for me and wine for my friend. Here comes the crunch, āI canāt feed myself!ā I say. āThatās okay, Iāll do it.āā¦ Throughout the afternoon she laughs at my crap jokes, smiles at my sea lion laugh, and doesnāt try to choke me when I say something stupid. (Iām useless with Alcohol) Afterwards I could phone the carer, but I sayā¦ āIts two miles to home, Iāve got a full charge, its sunny and Iām wearing sun glassesāā¦ āHit itāā¦ she says knowing the Blues Brothers quote. ā¦ Pete š This is fantastic! I especially like the āDadā humor. I can picture my Dad saying something similar. I find that Dads tend to be way more low key about this kind of thing. With Moms I feel like there is more WAY more hand wringing. Dads are like āget out there you got this!ā Itās also funny that many of us tell corny jokes because we learned them from our fathers. Thanks for sharing Pete!
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Post by Dr. BiPAP Sachin on Aug 24, 2021 19:16:10 GMT -5
I'm currently in a LDR with a cutie in India for the past 1 year now.
One of my fantasies about her is the following. My PCA tells me goodbye, and that he'll be back tomorrow morning, after changing me into nightwear and putting me into bed with my BiPAP nasal pillow. He heads out the door while my girl changes into something comfy in the powder room across the hall just outside my bedroom. I'm about to doze off when she arrives wearing nothing except some sexy red lingerie! She says, "How do I look, Doc?" I exclaim, "DAMN girl. You're on fire and as spicy as a red chili pepper." Then with a wink she goes, "Oh I'll show you spicy," and kisses my neck as we proceed to cuddle. š¶š„š
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theropodbod
New Member
Posts: 37
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by theropodbod on Aug 26, 2021 7:06:14 GMT -5
I'm not exactly sure how to describe it, but this scene feels very... comfortable to me. My experiences with physical intimacy are extremely limited, which include barely a handful of cuddle sessions. But I remember when I was head over heels, to use an ableist turn of phrase , for a girl in high school. Whenever we were together, she was always either touching a part of my chair, or a part of my body (usually my shoulders. Get your head out of the gutter! Lol). She was the first person who wasn't really afraid to touch me, to occupy space with me, and just be. We'd be standing in line for a movie, and she'd stand behind my power wheelchair. Her hand would wrap around the grab bar behind my seat as she leaned on it nonchalantly, leaning heavier on one side than the other, towering over me (though she was probably around 5'8"), just reading the marquis. When she'd sit down next to me in a movie, restaurant, etc., she'd usually rest her arm on my armrest. When we would stop for any given amount of time, she began asking to sit on the front of my seat cushion. At one point, she stopped asking and would just do it, while she'd be laughing with a friend mid-conversation, or lean back and lay her head on my shoulder. I can always tell when somebody is touching my chair, which I guess is weird for most able-bodied people to wrap their heads around. The way that she embraced my chair and my body made me feel comfy in my own skin. And though she gave me all of these signs, I was too naive and afraid to ask her out. Later, through tears, she would tell me that it was my fault we didn't end up together, that she had given me every sign she could. The most hurtful part is admitting that she was probably right. But after her, I've begun to associate that feeling of comfort with my wheelchair and those around me. My friends lean on my chair, my friends' girlfriends and wives will ask to put their clutches in my backpack, or I'll offer for them to hang their purses on my chair. It's not the same, but I guess it reminds me of the way I felt about my first love. I only do this for the people I'm closest to, and it has become something really special to me. I hope it's as special to them... Oh, another one is just being out and about together. I catch glimpses of us in shop windows or cars as we pass by, brush against his wheelchair when we stop to look at something (which always gives me a bit of a thrill), and kiss him every chance I get. He looks so sexy in his wheelchair, and I am so proud and happy to be with him...I want everyone to see how cute we are together and know how lucky I am to be with such an incredible man.
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martink
Junior Member
Posts: 63
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by martink on Aug 26, 2021 14:40:49 GMT -5
I'm not exactly sure how to describe it, but this scene feels very... comfortable to me. My experiences with physical intimacy are extremely limited, which include barely a handful of cuddle sessions. But I remember when I was head over heels, to use an ableist turn of phrase , for a girl in high school. Whenever we were together, she was always either touching a part of my chair, or a part of my body (usually my shoulders. Get your head out of the gutter! Lol). She was the first person who wasn't really afraid to touch me, to occupy space with me, and just be. We'd be standing in line for a movie, and she'd stand behind my power wheelchair. Her hand would wrap around the grab bar behind my seat as she leaned on it nonchalantly, leaning heavier on one side than the other, towering over me (though she was probably around 5'8"), just reading the marquis. When she'd sit down next to me in a movie, restaurant, etc., she'd usually rest her arm on my armrest. When we would stop for any given amount of time, she began asking to sit on the front of my seat cushion. At one point, she stopped asking and would just do it, while she'd be laughing with a friend mid-conversation, or lean back and lay her head on my shoulder. I can always tell when somebody is touching my chair, which I guess is weird for most able-bodied people to wrap their heads around. The way that she embraced my chair and my body made me feel comfy in my own skin. And though she gave me all of these signs, I was too naive and afraid to ask her out. Later, through tears, she would tell me that it was my fault we didn't end up together, that she had given me every sign she could. The most hurtful part is admitting that she was probably right. But after her, I've begun to associate that feeling of comfort with my wheelchair and those around me. My friends lean on my chair, my friends' girlfriends and wives will ask to put their clutches in my backpack, or I'll offer for them to hang their purses on my chair. It's not the same, but I guess it reminds me of the way I felt about my first love. I only do this for the people I'm closest to, and it has become something really special to me. I hope it's as special to them... Oh, another one is just being out and about together. I catch glimpses of us in shop windows or cars as we pass by, brush against his wheelchair when we stop to look at something (which always gives me a bit of a thrill), and kiss him every chance I get. He looks so sexy in his wheelchair, and I am so proud and happy to be with him...I want everyone to see how cute we are together and know how lucky I am to be with such an incredible man. I know exactly what you mean about knowing when someone is touching my chair! Not everyone out there makes the connection that our chairs becomes an extension of our bodies. It's more than just function or utility--it's a part of who we are. The people I allow to touch my chair is an exclusive group and I think you are right about that being special for us and for them. I think every PWD goes through that at sometime--not interpreting or misinterpreting signals--or just not reading the room. It seems to be a feature of the limitations we put on ourselves because the world has reinforced our doubts. But that goes both ways too. Thats what is great about this forum. People who are attracted to us can be more forthcoming with the way they feel about us as well.
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theropodbod
New Member
Posts: 37
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by theropodbod on Aug 26, 2021 15:02:32 GMT -5
I'm not exactly sure how to describe it, but this scene feels very... comfortable to me. My experiences with physical intimacy are extremely limited, which include barely a handful of cuddle sessions. But I remember when I was head over heels, to use an ableist turn of phrase , for a girl in high school. Whenever we were together, she was always either touching a part of my chair, or a part of my body (usually my shoulders. Get your head out of the gutter! Lol). She was the first person who wasn't really afraid to touch me, to occupy space with me, and just be. We'd be standing in line for a movie, and she'd stand behind my power wheelchair. Her hand would wrap around the grab bar behind my seat as she leaned on it nonchalantly, leaning heavier on one side than the other, towering over me (though she was probably around 5'8"), just reading the marquis. When she'd sit down next to me in a movie, restaurant, etc., she'd usually rest her arm on my armrest. When we would stop for any given amount of time, she began asking to sit on the front of my seat cushion. At one point, she stopped asking and would just do it, while she'd be laughing with a friend mid-conversation, or lean back and lay her head on my shoulder. I can always tell when somebody is touching my chair, which I guess is weird for most able-bodied people to wrap their heads around. The way that she embraced my chair and my body made me feel comfy in my own skin. And though she gave me all of these signs, I was too naive and afraid to ask her out. Later, through tears, she would tell me that it was my fault we didn't end up together, that she had given me every sign she could. The most hurtful part is admitting that she was probably right. But after her, I've begun to associate that feeling of comfort with my wheelchair and those around me. My friends lean on my chair, my friends' girlfriends and wives will ask to put their clutches in my backpack, or I'll offer for them to hang their purses on my chair. It's not the same, but I guess it reminds me of the way I felt about my first love. I only do this for the people I'm closest to, and it has become something really special to me. I hope it's as special to them... I know exactly what you mean about knowing when someone is touching my chair! Not everyone out there makes the connection that our chairs becomes an extension of our bodies. It's more than just function or utility--it's a part of who we are. The people I allow to touch my chair is an exclusive group and I think you are right about that being special for us and for them. I think every PWD goes through that at sometime--not interpreting or misinterpreting signals--or just not reading the room. It seems to be a feature of the limitations we put on ourselves because the world has reinforced our doubts. But that goes both ways too. Thats what is great about this forum. People who are attracted to us can be more forthcoming with the way they feel about us as well. It makes me so happy to finally be in the company of people who understand!! I resonate with everything that you just said! And yes, I'm an open book
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martink
Junior Member
Posts: 63
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by martink on Aug 31, 2021 19:48:35 GMT -5
Fantasy Update: Hi everyone I have been very excited to share this with all of you! My neighbor and I hung out for the first last Sunday!! I woke up feeling really great on Sunday morning, and just decided to ask her to come over off the cuff. At around 12:30 I texted saying that I had a growler that I needed to drinkāwould she like to come help me drink it? At around 1:30, she texted back she was out to lunch but what time was I thinking? I said 4:00. At 3:11 she texted that she would be over at 4:00. Iām freaking out with excitement at this point! I decide to play it cool and just enjoy myself in the moment! At 4:00 she came walking though the hedgerow in my backyard. My Mom brought out the beer and my neighbor and I sat outside talking and drinking for two hours! It was so much fun! We had a great conversation, never had any awkward pauses and it was great to learn more about her personality and world view and to hear her voice. Iām not sure if she was excited, nervous, or just glad to have someone new to talk to, but she didnāt stop talking the entire time. I was happy she wanted to talk to me. I just hope she found me as interesting as I found her. Isnāt it weird finding the right balance between talking and listening in a conversation? She looked great too! She was wearing a crop top (that she had made from an old vintage Buffalo Bills sweatshirt), athletic shorts, sandals, and she had her nose ring in! At one point I had to go in to use the bathroom (it was a lot of beer). I decided to ask her to open the door to let me into the house. She then had to move a pair of flip flops out of the doorway. I went in used the bathroom and then went back outside to join her. I thought by asking her to help me I was showing trust. I think she liked that I was comfortable enough to ask her for help. When she moved the flip flops, she gave a flourish with her hand like: āthis way sir.ā It was sweet. She was natural at helping me. From spending enough time around me over the years, she knew intuitively how to assist me. When I came back outside she walked over and put my beer back on the tray table of my wheelchair. She had never stood that close to me before. At the end I thanked her for coming over and she thanked me for inviting her, I said we should do it again sometime. She offered to help me bring in the stuff. I said it was okay my parents would be out. I told her to say hi to her parents and we parted. It was such a great way to spend the afternoon and it made me smile for a week straight.š
Iām trying to take my time before I ask her over again. I hope she wants to come over! Any advice on fun and friendly activities to invite her over to do? There is a woman in my neighborhood that I have been thinking about. She is really cute, has a beautiful smile, deep steely blue gray eyes, is smallāaround 5ā2ā and curvy. She gained a little weight over the pandemic and looks great! We are friends and I see her around a lot. She doesnāt wear a lot of makeup and lets her natural beauty shine, which I love to see. She looks great in going out clothes, but I like her the best in the comfy everyday clothes she wears most often. I canāt stop thinking about cuddling with her! For me, it is this idea of non-sexual, but slightly sensual, every day human touch that is the most tantalizing. In my fantasy Iām in my wheelchair and she is sitting on my lap with her arms wrapped around my neck in a collar hug. She leans in close enough so I can smell her and admire the view. She gives me a nice sweet little kiss on the mouth. Then she drops her hand down and rests it on my chest. At the same time she nestles her head into the crook of my shoulder and scrunches her body close to mine tightening her embrace. I love feeling the weight of her against me. She starts to rub my back and shoulders. I tell her a joke that makes her laugh, but itās kind of corny, so she shakes her head and rolls her eyes a bit. She touches her forehead to mine and smiles. She moves the hand on my chest down until she finds my hand and takes it in hers. I squeeze it tightly with all the might that I have. Then we start talking about something stupid, like what we are going to do for dinner. Iād love to be touched like that! Just a little everyday. And who knows where some of those domestic scenes might lead.
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frenchgirl
Junior Member
Posts: 69
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by frenchgirl on Sept 1, 2021 6:12:03 GMT -5
Fantasy Update: Hi everyone I have been very excited to share this with all of you! My neighbor and I hung out for the first last Sunday!! I woke up feeling really great on Sunday morning, and just decided to ask her to come over off the cuff. At around 12:30 I texted saying that I had a growler that I needed to drinkāwould she like to come help me drink it? At around 1:30, she texted back she was out to lunch but what time was I thinking? I said 4:00. At 3:11 she texted that she would be over at 4:00. Iām freaking out with excitement at this point! I decide to play it cool and just enjoy myself in the moment! At 4:00 she came walking though the hedgerow in my backyard. My Mom brought out the beer and my neighbor and I sat outside talking and drinking for two hours! It was so much fun! We had a great conversation, never had any awkward pauses and it was great to learn more about her personality and world view and to hear her voice. Iām not sure if she was excited, nervous, or just glad to have someone new to talk to, but she didnāt stop talking the entire time. I was happy she wanted to talk to me. I just hope she found me as interesting as I found her. Isnāt it weird finding the right balance between talking and listening in a conversation? She looked great too! She was wearing a crop top (that she had made from an old vintage Buffalo Bills sweatshirt), athletic shorts, sandals, and she had her nose ring in! At one point I had to go in to use the bathroom (it was a lot of beer). I decided to ask her to open the door to let me into the house. She then had to move a pair of flip flops out of the doorway. I went in used the bathroom and then went back outside to join her. I thought by asking her to help me I was showing trust. I think she liked that I was comfortable enough to ask her for help. When she moved the flip flops, she gave a flourish with her hand like: āthis way sir.ā It was sweet. She was natural at helping me. From spending enough time around me over the years, she knew intuitively how to assist me. When I came back outside she walked over and put my beer back on the tray table of my wheelchair. She had never stood that close to me before. At the end I thanked her for coming over and she thanked me for inviting her, I said we should do it again sometime. She offered to help me bring in the stuff. I said it was okay my parents would be out. I told her to say hi to her parents and we parted. It was such a great way to spend the afternoon and it made me smile for a week straight.š
Iām trying to take my time before I ask her over again. I hope she wants to come over! Any advice on fun and friendly activities to invite her over to do? There is a woman in my neighborhood that I have been thinking about. She is really cute, has a beautiful smile, deep steely blue gray eyes, is smallāaround 5ā2ā and curvy. She gained a little weight over the pandemic and looks great! We are friends and I see her around a lot. She doesnāt wear a lot of makeup and lets her natural beauty shine, which I love to see. She looks great in going out clothes, but I like her the best in the comfy everyday clothes she wears most often. I canāt stop thinking about cuddling with her! For me, it is this idea of non-sexual, but slightly sensual, every day human touch that is the most tantalizing. In my fantasy Iām in my wheelchair and she is sitting on my lap with her arms wrapped around my neck in a collar hug. She leans in close enough so I can smell her and admire the view. She gives me a nice sweet little kiss on the mouth. Then she drops her hand down and rests it on my chest. At the same time she nestles her head into the crook of my shoulder and scrunches her body close to mine tightening her embrace. I love feeling the weight of her against me. She starts to rub my back and shoulders. I tell her a joke that makes her laugh, but itās kind of corny, so she shakes her head and rolls her eyes a bit. She touches her forehead to mine and smiles. She moves the hand on my chest down until she finds my hand and takes it in hers. I squeeze it tightly with all the might that I have. Then we start talking about something stupid, like what we are going to do for dinner. Iād love to be touched like that! Just a little everyday. And who knows where some of those domestic scenes might lead. This is soooo excitinnnggg!!!
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