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Post by Dani on Sept 1, 2023 16:03:15 GMT -5
And I kind of wanted to add that it's important that you are comfortable with your attraction and want to learn and educate yourself, but in the end, it comes down to behaving like a decent person in any circumstance.
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relladev
New Member
Posts: 35
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
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Post by relladev on Sept 1, 2023 23:51:26 GMT -5
It sounds disturbing when it's expressed as something that so "many devs are into". It's a generalization, and I think that's problematic. And yes, people are into different things, but again, being a dev is very individual for every person, so it shouldn't be a generalization. Personally, for me, a cath or bowl program is not something "I'm into" as a kinky thing, but it is something that I know about and think I should learn about because it comes with the territory of liking guys with an SCI. Another dev may actually find it hot or something, but again, it shouldn't be a generalization. It's kind of the same if we would say all devs are into atrophied legs or quad hands or such things. The attraction, kink or fetish or whatever one wants to call it, is so individual for every dev. And yes, I also write about these things in my love stories because these things are valid points of the characters with an SCI that I write about. Because if my female character in my story just happens to use his bathroom and sees the obvious signs of cathing or bowl programs, she will know about it or will probably eventually ask him about it, but I see it more as a very intimate and personal aspect of the PWD and dev. So I guess I have a problem with the generalization of it being a kink. I guess it's part of the whole package, if you will, all the things that come with an SCI, for example, but I think it's iffy to limit it to a kink so many devs are into. And maybe, people who are into certain very personal things, are not necessarily devs. I mean, people are into diapers for example, it's a fetish, but they are most likely not devs. Same with anything regarding bodily fluids and such things, there are fetishes for that, but I would not say that these people are devs. This being said, I do think, it is perfectly okay to be into these things as a sexual component, so it's nothing bad as long as there is a consensus between partners in whatever constellation that may be. Easy lady. I'm not accusing anyone into anything. My English is not as good as a native but, I only said MANY, not most or every. Does over 100 count as many? I'd think so. coming from a country with 1.4 billion population. maybe our definition of many are different. and yes I can tell a writing for kink from a writing for narrative. just sharing a fact (which I'm deeply regretted to) don't overreact okay?
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Post by Dani on Sept 2, 2023 9:00:47 GMT -5
I'm not overreacting, I'm just stating my personal opinion on this.
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Post by A££Y "Cuddles" Magoo on Sept 2, 2023 23:23:22 GMT -5
if I'm being honest this post reads like someone who might be willing to compromise themselves for an idea that might not exactly be right for them. in short, you already married someone solely based off the idea despite it not being what you actually wanted. Thus ask yourself? is it really worth making more or less the same mistake again? Not every PWD will like you and nor will you like every PWD. it's hard and you might get your heart broken This is fine. Just be kind and be willing to communicate, that's it. But pls don't idealize. you have lots of time.
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glowell80
New Member
Posts: 19
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
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Post by glowell80 on Sept 19, 2023 10:40:19 GMT -5
Even us "familiars" can get annoyed by it. We're more than a set of super-sexy quad hands. Don't get me wrong, I love being an object of desire, but even I get bored. And some stuff is just not sexy to us. I am very kink friendly but I have no desire to talk about bowel programs. Some people might be into it but just read the room, ya know Wait... bowel programs!? Have people you've met been turned on by that before? That's quite an interesting kink. Wait, people are in to that? That's just... weird, sorry. If a dev is in to that kind of thing, should probably just keep it to yourself.
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leglet
New Member
Left above knee amputee. Straight and curious about the devotee world.
Posts: 42
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Separated
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Post by leglet on Sept 19, 2023 10:50:32 GMT -5
I've had some really good interactions with female devotees so far, (nothing sexual yet), just polite banter back and forth. I'm flattered that some ladies think my leg stump is sexy. It's refreshing!
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Post by lisa on Sept 19, 2023 15:35:06 GMT -5
Wait, people are in to that? That's just... weird, sorry. If a dev is in to that kind of thing, should probably just keep it to yourself. Sorry, but do we really have to do kinkshaming on this particular board which is all about accepting a rare sexual preference? This is exactly what we talk about in the other thread. Big ol' shame coming right up. There's no reason against a preference like this if it is experienced between consenting adults. I know this is a thread about bad experiences, but still. Generalizations are never okay ;-).
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glowell80
New Member
Posts: 19
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
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Post by glowell80 on Sept 19, 2023 17:46:18 GMT -5
Wait, people are in to that? That's just... weird, sorry. If a dev is in to that kind of thing, should probably just keep it to yourself. Sorry, but do we really have to do kinkshaming on this particular board which is all about accepting a rare sexual preference? This is exactly what we talk about in the other thread. Big ol' shame coming right up. There's no reason against a preference like this if it is experienced between consenting adults. I know this is a thread about bad experiences, but still. Generalizations are never okay ;-). I'm stating my opinion, I think it's weird and should probably just be kept to yourself and your partner. It doesn't matter if the kink is with PWD or able bodied people, I still think it's weird.
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tujo
New Member
Posts: 16
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by tujo on Sept 19, 2023 20:12:06 GMT -5
I'm stating my opinion, I think it's weird and should probably just be kept to yourself and your partner. It doesn't matter if the kink is with PWD or able bodied people, I still think it's weird. You are drawing an arbitrary line at what's ok to communicate and what's not just for the fact that it doesn't apply to you. If one is writing about SCI levels to rank people's attractiveness, I can guarantee you that there are a whole lot of people out there who'd find that extremely weird. You wouldn't want them to discourage you from putting it out there, right
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Post by darthoso on Sept 19, 2023 20:56:44 GMT -5
Only time I've been asked about anything bathroom related by a dev was in the context of "hey when we meet and you need help using the bathroom, what do I do?"
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relladev
New Member
Posts: 35
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
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Post by relladev on Sept 20, 2023 0:47:17 GMT -5
Good example of personal opinion: I’m into this/ I’m not into that Bad example of personal opinion: I’m not into this so you shouldn’t discuss it in public.
Is it just me or it seems our fellow devs are more prudent to kinks than PWDs…..
As I’m already over sharing here I might explain my personal reasons for “into” the cath routine. I don’t have any sex related opinion on it, but indeed think it is a more hygienic way for men to take a piss. If you have been sharing bathroom with any male that doesn’t bother to lift the toilet seat or just can’t aim you will know what I mean. So to me if the human fluid go through a tube into a bag or directly into the loo it’s much better.
Again only my personal opinion. There are people out there do think it’s hot. I don’t speak for them but totally fine if they want to express their feelings by some no harm kinky writings.
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Post by Dani on Sept 20, 2023 11:58:42 GMT -5
Is it just me or it seems our fellow devs are more prudent to kinks than PWDs….. This is another generalization about devs
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Post by dutchdev on Sept 21, 2023 1:44:25 GMT -5
Is it just me or it seems our fellow devs are more prudent to kinks than PWDs….. This is another generalization about devs It is a generalization, but I am totally a prude, very vanilla, I think. Everything shocks me, but that doesn't mean I judge it. I put an effort in being openminded and thinking if two (or more) consenting adults enjoy something, good thing you have found each other.
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Post by Dani on Sept 21, 2023 14:34:37 GMT -5
It's always iffy to make generalization about any group of people. Everyone is different and I'm very sure there are devs who are very sexually open minded.
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Post by greeneyedvillan on Sept 21, 2023 14:46:25 GMT -5
Can any PWD share some not so good experience with devs? I know accepting and willing to participate in this board is already a significant positive sign. But honestly I'm so nervous! I could shameless flirt and flee and say horrible things to an AB guy. But don't want to scratch any wrong place with any PWD (I know 50% chances you won't feel a thing if I scratch the right/wrong spot. just kidding and this is me making nervous bad joke.so you get the idea) so, any big turn down? taboo moevment? pls, need heads up to myself I was in a relationship with a devotee. To be honest, for me everything related to devotee/ disabled person part , it was always amazing. There always has to be communication, and open feelings. When there is ,I feel like it can be perfect . I would tell any devotee or DP to try having that relationship, with the right person, it will change you
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