The story of my first (and only) relationship
Sept 25, 2023 10:51:39 GMT -5
Dr. BiPAP Sachin likes this
Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2023 10:51:39 GMT -5
About seven months ago, I separated with my girlfriend of more than two-years, whom I met on one of the dating apps. She was from Brazil and, while I wasn’t looking for a long-distance relationship, I replied to her first message because she had won a scholarship to study in the UK later that year. I soon found her to be intelligent, empathic and attractive, sharing many of my interests and values. She also had an understanding of disability that I’d never seen from a non-disabled person before, mainly because she was close friends with someone who had cerebral palsy and studied ‘special education’ as part of her undergraduate degree. Unfortunately, the ban on flights entering the UK at the time because of the pandemic meant that her scholarship was essentially cancelled. Nonetheless, we kept talking and met in person for the first time in February 2022, staying with me in my parents’ home for a couple of weeks. She returned that October to live with me in my new flat until her tourist visa expired. I couldn’t have been happier to have a woman around the house to eat dinner with, go on dates together and share a bed, all things I had never experienced before.
For that entire period, she was not intimate with me, not once, despite making it clear that she wanted to since we met. I asked her why this was but she wouldn't tell me, instead making out I was pressuring her into sex when I simply wanted to discuss it like adults, which I found hurtful because I have nothing but respect for women and consider myself a feminist. It also further undermined my sexual confidence as a disabled man who was, and remains, a virgin. After she went home, she told me during a video call she had got a visa to work as an au pair in the US (which she had arranged in secret while staying in my flat). While I was sad that, as her ‘boyfriend’, she didn’t think it right to inform me of her life plans, especially when they may impact the long-term viability our relationship, I forgave her. But then, one week after traveling to the US, she told me by text that she was seeing another man and it was over between us. We haven’t spoken since.
For that entire period, she was not intimate with me, not once, despite making it clear that she wanted to since we met. I asked her why this was but she wouldn't tell me, instead making out I was pressuring her into sex when I simply wanted to discuss it like adults, which I found hurtful because I have nothing but respect for women and consider myself a feminist. It also further undermined my sexual confidence as a disabled man who was, and remains, a virgin. After she went home, she told me during a video call she had got a visa to work as an au pair in the US (which she had arranged in secret while staying in my flat). While I was sad that, as her ‘boyfriend’, she didn’t think it right to inform me of her life plans, especially when they may impact the long-term viability our relationship, I forgave her. But then, one week after traveling to the US, she told me by text that she was seeing another man and it was over between us. We haven’t spoken since.
