For you, "devotee" is a relationship type or a fetish ?

[celkan]

Hi everybody !  I'm new here.

I am curious what people think.  I just learn of existence of devotees like a week ago and I've talk to two women about it a little.  They have very differents perspectives of what it means for them.  While everybody can live their lives like they want and like whatever suits them, I am curious what other devotees think.

For you, "devotee" is a relationship type or a fetish ? 

One woman was married to a disabled man and did not fetichize him. (she even did not have sex, but was attracted to him)  And I chatted with another that would never date or have a relationship with a disabled man.  Just help him and especially have sex. 

I admit, I'm a little confused.  haha. I heard about PD in a facebook group and I heard about the devotee concept in Fetlife.

Have a nice day everybody !

Dominique

p.s. : Sorry for average english.  It is my second language.

[Deleted]

I know people have very strong feelings about this topic! My personal take is that it can be both, it is defined uniquely to you as an individual, and just because you subscribe to one understanding of the term does not mean an invalidation of how someone else feels about it.

[mrnobody]

I think its whatever it is to each individual. Im new to this community also and not sure either but thatd be my guess. I dont think its so much a fetish as preferring blonds or brunettes. Youre attracted to what youre attracted too. I like a nice butt while some guys are into big breasts does that make that a fetish? Its just what we are attracted too but since disabled people are more rare than hair colors and body parts its got to be extremely difficult for someone who is attracted to pwd to be able to experience it. In my town i literally see maybe a handfull of other people in wheelchairs that go on about there lives at grocery stores.

[blueskye101]

Lots of threads explaining this by various devs. It’s very individual

[devogirl]

celkan there are few responses to this question because it has been asked over and over many times. Please read these threads. They are old but the answers are here:

paradevo.proboards.com/thread/3998/devoteeism

paradevo.proboards.com/thread/6406/why

paradevo.proboards.com/thread/7917/article-why-cripple

I don't know what kinds of stories you saw on Facebook or what people have been telling you. Marrying someone but never having sex, or having sex only but not dating are both uncommon behaviors. Most devotee women date and have relationships just like everyone else.

[ayla]

This question has definitely been asked a ton, and will probably always BE asked -- I still ask myself all the time. I definitely recommend reading the above threads that devogirl mentioned. For me, at this point, I'd say it's neither a fetish nor a relationship style. There's not quite a word for it! It's most akin to a body type preference (like you mentioned about preferring curvy women or tall men or whatever), but it goes beyond that and impacts the relationship dynamic. There is a unique appreciation shared between dev and pwd. The dev is attracted to the pwd's body in a way that non-devs aren't, and if the pwd finds the dev attractive and accepts her view of him, it can make a really special bond that "normies" wouldn't really understand. I think this would apply even in a short-term more casual relationship as well as in a more committed relationship. So it's not the relationship style, it's the vibe within it? 

[dutchdev]

Since I am new and haven’t answered the question a million times (or any) here is my response.

I think it is like any other attraction, some people prefer a fling, others want to build a live together. For me it is not a fetish, if the guy doesn’t thick a bunch of other boxes I won’t be interested and of course that magical spark is required. It is just one of the things that draws me in, for some it might be big muscles, big boobs or long legs.

[ParaDevGuy]

Dec 5, 2023 10:36:58 GMT -5 ayla said:

It's most akin to a body type preference (like you mentioned about preferring curvy women or tall men or whatever)

I think this sums it up for me quite eloquently. It’s not *just* a fetish or *just* a relationship. It’s more of or better described as what I’m attracted to. Their body. It’s no different than liking big pecs or a beard. I just like paralyzed legs. And using the chair to get around.

I’m still pretty new to this board so I hope it’s not offensive to describe it like that or to say it. I don’t know if I should say that in the Devs Only board or what.

[ichbin]

I think it's always the question what certain words mean to someone. Like "fetish" could mean totally different things to different people.
To me personally it's not a "fetish", but probably only because "fetish" has a negative meaning for me. Basically, from what it is, it might be a "fetish"?!
Also, I don't know what you mean by "relationship type"? Like, when a Dev only wants a relationship with a PWD?

To me, paraplegic means mainly beauty. And who doesn't want to be surrounded by beauty?

[ayla]

Fetish is usually described in terms of the same 3 features: a particular object, or activity, or a part of the body other than the sexual organs

It is, per various dictionaries:
-any object, part of the body, or activity that is ordinarily regarded as nonsexual and causes a habitual erotic response or fixation.
-unconventional sexual practices involving an object, part of the body, or activity ordinarily regarded as nonsexual, considered collectively
-a form of sexual desire in which gratification is strongly linked to a particular object or activity or a part of the body other than the sexual organs

I feel that devoteeism is an extremely borderline case and depends on what precisely causes the erotic response in the dev. If it's the sight of paralyzed legs (for example) IN PARTICULAR, that falls under "a part of the body other than the sexual organs" ...but so does anyone who has an erotic response to non-paralyzed legs. If it's the activity of maneuvering a wheelchair (again, for example) that triggers the erotic response, that could fall under "activity ordinarily regarded as nonsexual."  

However, if it's attraction to the person's entire body, I don't really see how that can be a fetish per se. I also don't think this is an all-or-nothing label either. Maybe some aspects of the attraction are more "fetish-y" than others. But then again, is that really so different from someone who just loves boobs? Or butts?

There is another, less clinical meaning of fetish and that is the concept of enjoying something excessively or doing something excessively. The "excessiveness" of your dev feelings is very hard to evaluate, though. What is an appropriate amount to be aroused and to seek out that arousal??

[anthonyg]

Well said Ayla 👍

[ichbin]

Dec 6, 2023 17:17:05 GMT -5 ayla said:

Fetish is usually described in terms of the same 3 features: a particular object, or activity, or a part of the body other than the sexual organs

It is, per various dictionaries:
-any object, part of the body, or activity that is ordinarily regarded as nonsexual and causes a habitual erotic response or fixation.
-unconventional sexual practices involving an object, part of the body, or activity ordinarily regarded as nonsexual, considered collectively
-a form of sexual desire in which gratification is strongly linked to a particular object or activity or a part of the body other than the sexual organs

I feel that devoteeism is an extremely borderline case and depends on what precisely causes the erotic response in the dev. If it's the sight of paralyzed legs (for example) IN PARTICULAR, that falls under "a part of the body other than the sexual organs" ...but so does anyone who has an erotic response to non-paralyzed legs. If it's the activity of maneuvering a wheelchair (again, for example) that triggers the erotic response, that could fall under "activity ordinarily regarded as nonsexual."  

However, if it's attraction to the person's entire body, I don't really see how that can be a fetish per se. I also don't think this is an all-or-nothing label either. Maybe some aspects of the attraction are more "fetish-y" than others. But then again, is that really so different from someone who just loves boobs? Or butts?

There is another, less clinical meaning of fetish and that is the concept of enjoying something excessively or doing something excessively. The "excessiveness" of your dev feelings is very hard to evaluate, though. What is an appropriate amount to be aroused and to seek out that arousal??

thanks, ayla, this is a very detailed description.

when I look at it from my point of view...

• part of the body other than the sexual organs causes erotic response .... this for sure is true (e.g. paralyzed legs)
• activity that is regarded as nonsexual causes erotic response .... this for sure is true as well (e.g. transfers or guys with CP talking)
• unconventional sexual practices .... is also kind of true. (I recall a thread where a dev said, she´d rather "rub herself to orgasm on his leg than have PIV sex with an AB")
• sexual desire linked to part of body or activity that is not sexual organs or ordinarily nonsexual .... YES, but.... not only to "part of the body" or "activity", but to the whole person... 

I concur with you that it's not an all-or-nothing label. 

The question how it is different from someone who loves boobs or butts or gets sexual triggers by legs I find a really interesting one.

Regarding the "excessiveness" ... I think it can get quite high among Devs because PWDs are so rare. But I´d suppose, some non-Devs might have also have a very "excessive" sex drive just for ABs?! But, yeah, very hard to evaluate and define...

[celkan]

Thank you all for your replies. I'm new and did not know it was such a debate. Haha. It was both intreresting and informative.

[Dani]

I don't consider it a fetish because it's not just an object or one part of the body for me. It's also not purely or primarily sexual for me. It's not only physical for me but rather has a deep psychological manifestation.
The "before" and "after" is a factor for me as well, meaning I'm mostly a devotee for men with acquired disabilities.