|
|
Post by Ciao Bella on Aug 1, 2009 0:36:16 GMT -5
Reading through Mike's thread about his "Interesting Encounter", I've just realized (a little belatedly, I know) meeting women who want to have relationships with you wheelers must put you in quite a quandary, initially. How would you know if she's a dev or not? how do you know she's interested only coz of the chair?
My answers are simply: unless she declares her devness in some shape or form, you won't know and you'll have to trust her enough to have some sort of relationship, to see what the basis of your relationship is. What's the worst that could happen?
|
|
|
|
Post by roger888 on Aug 1, 2009 8:47:59 GMT -5
My first thought after reading your post is,does it matter if they are a dev or not if they are not a threat to a wheelers safety?If you dont expect too much until you know a person more, then you're not going to get hurt emotionally by finding out they are only after one thing & how many times have the devs said on here that its not 100% about the chair?
No reason why a meaningful relationship cant develop from an encounter whatever the circumstances of the two people.
|
|
|
|
Post by mike on Aug 1, 2009 12:41:51 GMT -5
Bingo! Roger gets the point exactly!
The dev aspect is an added attractor to me.
In other words, given two otherwise identical people and my choice between the two, the dev would get more points. A lot more in fact.
Regards,
Mike
|
|
|
|
Post by mike on Aug 1, 2009 12:47:48 GMT -5
Isabelle,
The issue of whether a person is a dev or not (at least for me), is discerning whether she is a dev, or if that's only my wishful thinking. Like most people, whether she is a dev is not a determining factor in a relationship, but is an added attractor.
Mike
|
|
aloha
New Member
Posts: 20 
|
Post by aloha on Aug 1, 2009 14:40:55 GMT -5
Can't there be many shades of devs?
Like using another example, what about a guy who likes chubby girls? There are some guys who somewhat prefer a girl who's chubby, strongly prefer a girl who's chubby, or are completely obsessed with chubby girls.
Same dealio with devs. There are probably a lot of women who think wheelers are attractive, maybe somewhat more so than AB guys, but wouldn't necessarily identify themselves as devs. I think applying a label like "dev" implies more than just a mild preference.
|
|
|
|
Post by roger888 on Aug 1, 2009 15:14:34 GMT -5
Bingo! Roger gets the point exactly! The dev aspect is an added attractor to me. In other words, given two otherwise identical people and my choice between the two, the dev would get more points. A lot more in fact. Regards, Mike Mike Are you saying that if two women were attracted to you & one of them was a dev,then the dev would automatically have an advantage?Why is that? |
|
|
|
Post by mike on Aug 2, 2009 14:56:07 GMT -5
Roger,
Yes, I am saying exactly that. The reason is simple, after years of feeling defective and unappealing because of my physical condition, finding someone who actually LIKES the condition is very attractive to me. What is surprising about that? Everyone wants to feel attractive to the opposite sex, that's only natural.
Aloha,
You are correct about degrees of attraction, but think of things this way; Suppose you grew up feeling unattractive because your eyes were different colors, and furthermore had convinced yourself that nobody would like that. Suddenly you discover there are in fact people who DO like different eye colors. After you recover from your shock, you discover that not only do they like your eyes, they have actively sought to meet people like you. Would you really invent some kind of device to measure the degree of their attraction? I don't think so, you would just relish the situation, reevaluate your perceptions of life, smile, & try to make friends with them, then get on with things with a new appreciation of life. Oh, and throw away the sunglasses, let people enjoy your eye color.
Besides, things like attraction wax & wane, so someone who is obsessed today may be totally ambivalent tomorrow & vice-versa. So forget the measuring stick, and just enjoy the situation.
And another thing, using your analogy, not only is there the factor of how much they were attracted to chubby girls, but also how chubby they preferred. If 20lbs overweight is good, is 40lbs better?, how about 60? So even within the constraints of your analogy, there is more than one dimension.
No matter whether the other person likes it a little bit or a lot, that's one heck of a lot better than someone who despises it and only overlooks it for other reasons.
Regards,
Mike
|
|
|
|
Post by roger888 on Aug 3, 2009 12:06:35 GMT -5
Ok Mike,Thanks for your answer.
Yeah,i know exactly what you are saying about the defective & unappealing bit.Devs do have that special ability to knock some sense into us & make us believe what we should have already known,but from my experience I dont think thats exclusive to Devs.
If I was single then whether a woman I was interested in was a Dev wouldnt alter my decision about them ,because I would be too busy working out their other qualities & I dont just mean the physiacal side.
|
|
Phil
Junior Member
Posts: 82
|
Post by Phil on Aug 3, 2009 18:18:31 GMT -5
Reading through Mike's thread about his "Interesting Encounter", I've just realized (a little belatedly, I know) meeting women who want to have relationships with you wheelers must put you in quite a quandary, initially. How would you know if she's a dev or not? how do you know she's interested only coz of the chair? My answers are simply: unless she declares her devness in some shape or form, you won't know and you'll have to trust her enough to have some sort of relationship, to see what the basis of your relationship is. What's the worst that could happen? Is it important to know that? I'd doubt it would be all that important to me. If she is, great. We'll work with that. If not, great. We'll work with something different. She's with me, either way, so why rock the boat? Q. How do you know she's interested only coz of the chair? I'm pretty sure that most people could tell pretty easily. |
|
|
|
Post by mike on Aug 3, 2009 18:34:34 GMT -5
Phil,
1. Because I would like to talk to her about dev/dis issues without freaking her out.
2. Because I find dev's especially appealing.
3. Because I would want to know if she's interested or simply being nice.
In my case it would be braces rather than a chair, but my paranoia is confusing my wishful thinking & her reality. Can you imagine how awkward that could be?
|
|
|
|
Post by benquad on Aug 3, 2009 19:50:09 GMT -5
Its not as easy to tell as one would think!
Ive found that people go out of thier way to be nice or helpful & id hate to be the guy that made them not want to help or have to question helping
brain hurts from over thinking
|
|
