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Post by roger888 on Nov 7, 2009 10:31:34 GMT -5
Even after Googling it,I'm no nearer understanding what that means. Doesn't help that I have just got back home after being dragged round the city doing window shopping since daybreak.... OK,started typing before the edit, so I know now  |
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Post by Neffie on Nov 7, 2009 11:23:20 GMT -5
I was 3 in 1980 and vividly remember being thrown off a rocking horse and cutting my head open. There was so much blood it's untrue, the main thing I remember is my mum's face just going sooooo pale and then I just remember being off nursery and watching TV in bed. Thought I would share.
Ya know what? Regarding pleasuring a girl or how to make a woman feel? I'm sure there will be lots of feedback and as always I'm glad to discuss it.
I think I'd be happy with just having someone put in the effort.
It's not JUST about the end game in this...you don't have to be playing in the match to enjoy the goal right???
Having someone who is so comfortable they will let you do that to them is the first battle. A lot of girls don't feel comfy with it whereas some will grab you by the ears and shove your head up their skirt (no prizes for guessing where I fall). It doesn't mean the pressure's on to provide fireworks, if you can go out with a bang, fantastic but showing willing is enough in most cases and the rest can be done manually.
This is so odd to discuss with virtual strangers but I really want to make it clear that there shouldn't be this massive pressure, I mean as Dev's we more than likely walk around in a permanent state of arousal when comfronted with a wheeler. That's not to say that we're gonna let him sniff the ladyflower without an introduction or at least dinner and a movie!
You go with your strengths in life and when those no longer work for you, you develop other talents. I know that if I was with a guy in a chair I wouldn't wanna lose one of my main gifts just because he can't feel it. He can still watch right?
Anyway, if no one tells you you're good then you need to question your audience and not yourself, that's my belief. All things take practice no matter why you need to adopt a certain skill in the first place.
No one's doomed on this site as far as I can tell and we're all looking for something different be it companionship, understanding, a sense of self...doesn't matter. Just be sure that you a) find the right chick, b) brush your teeth and c) have fun with it...it's a lot bloody harder than it looks (hey, I went to Uni, I know).
No one's built the same but as long as you both feel comfortable then go for it and believe me no woman would call you second class! ;D
PS you were talking about oral sex weren't you LOL?
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Post by Triassic on Nov 7, 2009 14:35:25 GMT -5
whoa, what's gotten into you lately, fubb/buff?  i think i get your point about the cunnilingus issue...does it have to do with the need to give a woman pleasure in order to validate yourself as a sexual performer? that's how it is with me; not just with oral, but with everything from a caress to full-on coitus. i've come to realize that unless she's enjoying it, i DON'T enjoy it. at all. so it's all about her. i'm monitoring her responses throughout, and carefully adjusting what i do based on my observations. i mean, obviously i'm getting pleasure myself, too. and yet...and yet...i think that maybe i mainly care that she digs it because it proves i can knock it out. so it's sort of an ego thing, maybe. it's not ONLY, only that, no-obviously i want her to enjoy herself for her own reasons...but i have to admit that a large part of my own pleasure is in watching her reactions to what i do. i've come to realize that having rampant sex with the sexiest chick in creation would be HORRIBLE if i knew that she was, as nef said 'lying back and thinking of enggland', or worse, was secretly grossed out by me. as for feeling the equal of any man; nope, i don't. i feel inferior to anyone who can ambulate, pretty much. i used to try to deny it-but it simply kept reasserting itself. so i had to admit that i AM inferior; physically, anyway. and inferior socially/sexually; if i am attracted to girl x and she is NOT attracted to me, but IS attracted to dude y...then QED he is superior to me. let that scenario play out, oh about 1000 times and one starts to get the message. one can say 'it's her loss.', but to paraphrase ray romano; 'she seems to be taking it awfully well.'' then there's the subtle but real male pecking order based on whether you could beat down some other guy in a fight if it came to that. men size each other up and make adjustments in their behavior. yet i'm hors de combat, completely; in fact so much so that only the lowest of lowlifes would do me violence....like that guy in nyc who beat and robbed old ladies. everyone agrees-just flush him down a hole forever. because he hurt the defenseless. which is what i am in a fight...and thus inferior. but so what, you know? life still goes on. i still have my birthday. i'm even SUPERIOR in some ways...but maybe also being forced to face the issue of my inferiority has made the whole game of judgement of myself and others a bit transparent. like the whole thing, the whole game of ego becomes less compelling and i just do what i can to help myself and others enjoy life as much as is possible. |
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Post by Pony on Nov 7, 2009 18:27:28 GMT -5
I'm not sure I understand everything brought up, but let me say a few things without being TOO analytical. ; ) I didn't have that hard of a time turning my sexual energies into cunnilingus after accident that rendered downstairs useless. First, I was ALWAYS very oral, and after the SCI, it's the one physical sexual thing I feel totally in control of, AND you completely share this with your partner. But the foreplay starts way before she spreads for you...the term 'cunning linguist' is kinda perfect because foreplay has a lot to do with the skills you have, or CHEMISTRY, you have verbally with the girl. I'm going to reveal a secret way I've had sex with many girls over the years, and some peeps will think I'm a perv, but I've had GREAT phone sex with girls over the years that rivaled any in-person sex. So, being a skillful, or cunning linguist, is very important in reaching a girl's sexual core hen only using voice. But it's really MUCH more than that...it's the CHEMISTRY you build with the girl. It's the buttons you find in each girl, and knowing exactly how to push them. it's also about knowing, or FEELING what she's feeling, and letting her feelings dictate where you go. All of this is important in person, too, but just pointing out that it's a skill I utilized after getting hurt.
As for one person 'performing' better than the next. It all starts with that science of CHEMISTRY, and a real connection between the two. I have to say I've talked to many girls I've been with, and they have had guys with NO CLUE how to please, or even try to please the girl.
I went out with a friend's soon-to-be ex-wife, and he got wind of it. He wrote her these emails making fun of her going out with me coz I couldn't fuck her. She passed the emails to me, and he said some other very unflattering things about my sex, or lack of. Just to be clear, she's the one who started flirting with me and made it known she wanted to go out. I figured they were separated 9 months, it was cool. anyway, we had incredibly hot cunnilingus, phone sex (which she'd never done), hot petting sessions in my van on parking lots with people nearby, clit vibrator and her very intense orgasms.
I had the last laugh on that one!!! hehe Alas, I broke it off coz she was driving me crazy with her anger-issues.
One last thing, Fubb....we have something in common. I had a crazy ass childhood that was very hurtful, confused and unstable. In a way, I think it prepared me better for getting SCI...i mean I was used to crazy shit. This was just another turn in the river.
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Post by Dee Dee on Nov 7, 2009 23:03:51 GMT -5
Fubb, I can see, that this headline and the content of your post refer
to the thread called "Dev Flashback", but do you mind explaining, in detail preferably, what it means???
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Post by Dee Dee on Nov 7, 2009 23:57:24 GMT -5
one thing though. It is ironic that total strangers have more of an insight into my real feelings than those closest to me. A lot of the stuff I have brought up on here I have never talked to people about in real life... On the other hand ... if you use this place to tell people (here) about your real feelings, then they would have an insight, wouldn´t they? They wouldn´t be total strangers?! Vice versa, if you don´t tell people closest to you in real life about those same feelings, how would they know? Then maybe it isn´t so ironic, but more logical? |
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Post by Ouch on Nov 8, 2009 6:15:28 GMT -5
I thought Mr. bbuf's post was rather straightforward, myself...so it might've all just flew over my head. I think a basic point he was trying to make diva, was that those closest to him probably have an expectation and false confidence that they know what's going on inside of him, whereas, in comparison, we really don't know much about him in general, and we don't have a confidence nor expectation to know what's going on inside of him, how he feels, but yet we have a better picture of how he he feels in comparison...which doesn't necessarily fall into the realm of logic in its base form. |
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Post by doe on Nov 8, 2009 9:33:36 GMT -5
The full title of this thread is: Everything in life IS a performance. It is a performance to someone. We are all performers on a stage. You might not think so but you are. Some are better than others. Some of our performances ARE irrational. Some are objective but most of them are just that thing called life. Who we are and who we want to be. I have nothing to prove to anyone anymore and I don't set out to do that although I once did. I never really ever did have anything to prove to anyone. I am who I am and I don't really care about the ignorant people in this world. For me they have lost the opportunity to know someone and if they could only see past the physical they would find someone who is exactly the same as they are. I am, as is every other man on this site, as good as any AB man and whatever we cannot do as well, we will make up for in some other way. Necessity is the mother of invention as I have said elsewhere. We don't want anyone's pity, nor will we settle for second best. I have been there and done that before, more than once. So not settling for second best, my performance in life will also be the best one that I can give. Fubbtastic, I am finding it hard to be articulate and eloquent in my reply to you, so I am going to use your own words. The words I have quoted above, are what I would have said right back to you after reading the first couple of paragraphs of your post. I agree with you a 1000%. I also want to add a bit more. You are absolutely right about us all being performers, so true in so many respects - some performances we will never know about. I could write a whole dissertation about what a real man is, but I am not going to. You, yourself have said you have nothing to prove to anyone and I totally agree with you on that score as well. I live in the same shallow society as you do. I am surrounded by selfish, arrogant ABs (men and women) who talk only about themselves, think only about themselves and judge others by what they own, what they earn or what they can do to advance their career. Never mind that these same arrogant ABs need others to succeed, never mind the mail room boy, the word processor, the secretary or the concierge. Never mind the quiet, shy office worker who gets on and does his thing without fan fare and is intelligent, reliable and a real team player - someone you would go into battle with. Never mind that these are real people who are interesting, have families and a soul. After all, it's all about what society judges to be successful, right? How ignorant and short sighted it all is. I have never subscribed to this (and God knows I have had every opportunity) and will never. I go out of my way to hire the shy office worker to give them a go, to give them an opportunity. I talk to all of the office staff and get to know them - I don't look through anyone. And I've given up with the arrogant, selfish ABs - may they spend their lives with those that are equally as arrogant and selfish. I'm not telling you this to extol my virtues. All I am trying to say is that, once again we are not all alike. There are a few good people left out there in the world and the law of probabilities states that you will bump into a few in your lifetime. I sincerely hope that you do and replace those sorry, sad memories with good ones. The good ones will also let you know that you are worthy. As for pity, anyone who goes down that line of thinking is doing you and all the wheelers a true disservice. Geez, I wish I could fly a plane ! Finally, I have not mentioned oral sex, which was the point of this thread, right? I just thought the comment was odd because I couldn't understand why you would want to compare skill sets with ABs. I guess Tri answered the question in some ways. Women tend not to think in comparitive terms (at least this wise woman doesn't) - you stand or fall on your own skill. Having said that and to use a baseball analogy - you have to go through 1st, 2nd and 3rd base to get to home plate, so without CHEMISTRY to get you through the first 3 bases, you ain't going to reach home plate ;D. As I said in the previous thread, though, being a wheeler is in no way an obstacle in striving for that slide to home ;D. So when the final curtain falls, I hope that both of our performances are worthy of applause. |
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Post by Pony on Nov 8, 2009 10:37:07 GMT -5
So Doe, are you saying I'm on 1st base with you headed for home?  hehehe |
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Post by Pony on Nov 8, 2009 11:02:19 GMT -5
Cissairt I like that one. Inspector Cissairt??? You could work in the crime fighting world with Clusseau...is that how you spell it??? You mightn't get much done but you would have a helluva time doing it. Tony and Triman...I really miss you guys. By the way, Buffy, miss you, too, man!! ; ) I haven't been to Jollie Mon's in a while, but we'd be hangin if you were around. Maybe you, me, Windy and Triass should pool our money, buy a big condo on the beach and fly in Devs....hehe |
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Post by Ouch on Nov 8, 2009 12:01:43 GMT -5
Cissairt I like that one. Inspector Cissairt??? You could work in the crime fighting world with Clusseau...is that how you spell it??? You mightn't get much done but you would have a helluva time doing it. Tony and Triman...I really miss you guys. By the way, Buffy, miss you, too, man!! ; ) I haven't been to Jollie Mon's in a while, but we'd be hangin if you were around. Maybe you, me, Windy and Triass should pool our money, buy a big condo on the beach and fly in Devs....hehe I'm game for that! Hell, I may need a new place to live the way my life is going lol! |
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Post by BA on Nov 8, 2009 12:03:34 GMT -5
There are a few good people left out there in the world and the law of probabilities states that you will bump into a few in your lifetime. I sincerely hope that you do and replace those sorry, sad memories with good ones. The good ones will also let you know that you are worthy. Amen to that Doe. Amazing really, your whole post, but this part in particular is very relevant for me right now. I have some memory replacing to do as well and I truly believe that it will happen in its own good time. |
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Post by Triassic on Nov 8, 2009 17:10:39 GMT -5
yeah...,.,let's make Gimp Dorm, right?
would anyone subscribe to that website?
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Post by doe on Nov 8, 2009 20:18:28 GMT -5
There are a few good people left out there in the world and the law of probabilities states that you will bump into a few in your lifetime. I sincerely hope that you do and replace those sorry, sad memories with good ones. The good ones will also let you know that you are worthy. Amen to that Doe. Amazing really, your whole post, but this part in particular is very relevant for me right now. I have some memory replacing to do as well and I truly believe that it will happen in its own good time. Thanks AB/BA hope you find some good ones. |
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Post by doe on Nov 8, 2009 20:26:17 GMT -5
So Doe, are you saying I'm on 1st base with you headed for home? hehehe You're on first base, what's on second and whose on third. That's all I'm saying ;D And guys if you're flying in devs into your wheeler heaven timeshare condo - book me in for a trip - would love to see FLA this time of year  |
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hehehe
