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Post by annabelle on Sept 26, 2010 17:29:30 GMT -5
I think god must be teasing me...
I was on the subway today and I saw The Hottest Wheeler Evah. He was cute in general, but the wheelchair made him unbelievable. I think he was a quad because he looked like he couldn't move his hands. I was sitting about half a car away from him.
Now I am not one for approaching strange men on the train. I don't know how I'd do it and it would have been kind of hard to find an excuse, especially since he spent most of the half hour on the train using his cell phone. But what made it impossible was that some old friends from college were visiting and I was with them.
So basically, I had the choice of making a total fool out of myself trying to get the attention of and hitting on this quad on his cell phone in front of friends I hadn't seen in years and who obviously don't know I'm a dev.... and doing nothing. Guess which one I picked.
I can't even believe it. This week I've seen two of the hottest wheelers I've ever seen in my life. And there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.
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Post by devogirl on Sept 26, 2010 18:57:31 GMT -5
D'oh! Don't beat yourself up, there was probably nothing you could have done in that situation.
Back when I was tightly wrapped up in obsession and shame, not knowing how to approach a disabled guy, every single guy I passed in public seemed like a sign of how the universe was cruelly taunting me. It was really painful. But once I got over it, I was able to see those random sighting for what they are: just random.
Also, having been a huge nerd in high school and college, I had no idea how to approach any guy and was really shy with everyone. But in my 20s I realized that if I didn't make things happen I would always regret it, so I forced myself to strike up conversations with those random guys (when appropriate). If you just smile and say hi, most people will respond positively, and guys are usually happy to be approached by girls. It got easier the more I did it, and I even got a few dates that way, but nothing long lasting.
This reminds me, a long time ago there was this super hot quad I kept seeing around town, like for YEARS but somehow I never was in a position to talk to him. Then one night I was out at a bar with some friends, and there he was, so I totally went for it. He was wasted, we talked and flirted for a while, but that was it. He was actually kind of boring and annoying and we had nothing at all in common. Also as a result of this I outed myself as a dev to a group of friends I would have preferred did not know. Some of them still tease me about it to this day, but whatever. The moral of the story is the chances of your being compatible with random hot quad guy are not that great, so don't get too worked up over the one that got away.
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Post by Inigo Montoya on Sept 26, 2010 19:18:03 GMT -5
I don't have words of wisdom like devogirl... so all you get is hugs.
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Post by annabelle on Sept 26, 2010 20:20:32 GMT -5
Thanks, Devogirl (and thanks for the hugs, Inigo). I had this whole fantasy in my head about the guy being absolutely wonderful, but you're probably right that the overwhelming likelihood was that we wouldn't be compatible. I still wish I had the nerve to approach a guy. Otherwise, I don't see how this is ever going to happen for me.
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Post by celesty on Sept 26, 2010 20:45:07 GMT -5
When I was in high school, there was this guy with a limp that I found really attractive. I knew I was a dev then, so I always felt like someone was going to "know my secret" if I started talking to him. Which was silly. In hindsight, if I talked to him no one would all of a sudden assume I liked disabled guys.
Anyway, everyday in school I would see him in the hall and try to say hi to him, but he never heard me because the halls were noisy and I was super shy. My friend new I liked him and one day introduced me to him. After that he knew I liked him, so he was nice to me just for the sake of being nice. I should have taken that opportunity to talk to him, but I didn't. Then we would just awkwardly say hi in the halls and nothing happened.
I was pretty bummed about it all through high school. But it wasn't the end of the world because (well, besides the fact that it was high school haha) there are more limping guys/wheelers around. (:
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Post by paraxdreamer on Oct 21, 2010 20:58:50 GMT -5
D'oh! Don't beat yourself up, there was probably nothing you could have done in that situation. Back when I was tightly wrapped up in obsession and shame, not knowing how to approach a disabled guy, every single guy I passed in public seemed like a sign of how the universe was cruelly taunting me. It was really painful. But once I got over it, I was able to see those random sighting for what they are: just random. Also, having been a huge nerd in high school and college, I had no idea how to approach any guy and was really shy with everyone. But in my 20s I realized that if I didn't make things happen I would always regret it, so I forced myself to strike up conversations with those random guys (when appropriate). If you just smile and say hi, most people will respond positively, and guys are usually happy to be approached by girls. It got easier the more I did it, and I even got a few dates that way, but nothing long lasting. This reminds me, a long time ago there was this super hot quad I kept seeing around town, like for YEARS but somehow I never was in a position to talk to him. Then one night I was out at a bar with some friends, and there he was, so I totally went for it. He was wasted, we talked and flirted for a while, but that was it. He was actually kind of boring and annoying and we had nothing at all in common. Also as a result of this I outed myself as a dev to a group of friends I would have preferred did not know. Some of them still tease me about it to this day, but whatever. The moral of the story is the chances of your being compatible with random hot quad guy are not that great, so don't get too worked up over the one that got away. Wow! This is exactly what I needed to hear..readingthis.. Now I am a lot more relaxed about aproaching a wheeler in the apropriate situation (most of the time) but I still thought about the times in the past when I think I missed out on talking to the wheeler of my dreams .. But like u said.. In reality he probably wouldn't have been! Lol.
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Post by Neffie on Oct 31, 2010 12:38:16 GMT -5
I think Celesty hits the nail on the head! well done!!! I always had the same issue, I mean I wan't around wheelers much as a kid but I remember this one guy in school who I feel so badly about now. I mean we were too young to think about sex stuff (at 11 or 12) but I already knew i was a dev. I wasn't attracted to him at all to be fair but I could have talked to him and I never did because I was scared there would be a neon light flashing over my head! It sounds stupid, I mean I wasn't a cool kid so i wasn't worried talking to a kid in a chair would make me look bad, it was the opposite. I just couldn't talk to him because i didn't know how i felt at that time and whatever I felt wasn't focused at him. The guy died when we were 15, i didn't even know what was wrong with him, how bad is that? I knew he was in a chair because his feet were clubbed and he was in special classes although he wasn't mentally handicapped in any way. it makes me feel bad but at the same time I think I was 11/12/13 when he was in my year and he wasn't in my class, he wasn't in the playground with us. The only thing was he had a best friend called Christian. Christian was my best friend when I was about 7 or 8...before big school. I remember we used to kiss under the desk etc. Anyway when we got to High School Christian became best friends with the guy in the chair and looked out for him for years, he loved that dude. I remember reading about him dying in the paper (I had moved away by then) and Christian gave the most amazing eulogy. I don't know what I'm getting at but I feel that if I wasn't so uncomfortable with my devness I at that age I would be able to remember the kids' name or something, as it was I thought I had a tell.
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Post by ruthmadison on Jan 7, 2011 16:25:30 GMT -5
I think god must be teasing me... I was on the subway today and I saw The Hottest Wheeler Evah. He was cute in general, but the wheelchair made him unbelievable. I think he was a quad because he looked like he couldn't move his hands. I was sitting about half a car away from him. Now I am not one for approaching strange men on the train. I don't know how I'd do it and it would have been kind of hard to find an excuse, especially since he spent most of the half hour on the train using his cell phone. But what made it impossible was that some old friends from college were visiting and I was with them. So basically, I had the choice of making a total fool out of myself trying to get the attention of and hitting on this quad on his cell phone in front of friends I hadn't seen in years and who obviously don't know I'm a dev.... and doing nothing. Guess which one I picked. I can't even believe it. This week I've seen two of the hottest wheelers I've ever seen in my life. And there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. Once I was flying from MA to CA and there was a super cute guy on the plane, but he was several rows ahead of me and I didn't think anything of it. Then I was hanging around the gate after the flight and it turned out he was para. He was gorgeous and I couldn't figure out a way to get to him to start a conversation. I got in my car and burst into tears. I called my cousin and said, "I think God is laughing at me." I was so, so distraught.
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