Post by darkie on May 6, 2011 12:15:54 GMT -5
I just had taken a shower, a long and extensive one, and then I took a few drops of my favourite perfume, just for the joy of wearing it to bed. On the way to my bedroom, I came across Maxwell´s room. The door was ajar. I just wanted to make sure that he didn't need something and knocked gently. Equally gently came his words, “Just come in.”
First I could only see dimly because it was dark in his room. Just a small ray of light from the window brightened the room. I closed the door and went to his bed, leaning over him just to arrange his pillow. Casually I touched the skin of his cheek to feel if he had a fever, but his skin felt cool. His breathing was a bit snatchy. Frank Parker had obviously overdosed the medication a bit. Suddenly he whispered: “You smell good.” I had to smile and was happy that he liked my favourite perfume.
He moaned slightly when he tried to sit up and failed. I helped him to sit up and hoped that it would help him breath better.
“Is there anything I can do for you before I go to bed?“ I asked him.
“Just stay here for a little while and tell a poor cripple a nice bed-time-story.” He said this without any cynicism, but his words made me shiver.
I suddenly felt cold in my thin nightshirt. He noticed it and said: “Come on, the bed is big enough for the two of us. And I´m completely harmless.” I could almost hear his big grin. My eyes got used to the darkness and I saw his prominent face, his full lips, the slender body covered by a thin blanket. I hesitated a moment, but he had lifted the blanket and I slipped into his bed. I noticed his scent. Warm and familiar, a bit like sandalwood. Although it was the first time I was aware of his scent, it was so familiar.
“What kind of story do you want to hear?”
“A story from your life.” Again his breathing was snatchy and I began to worry again.
I began to tell him a story that my father had always told me in my childhood. When I took a look at him, I could see him smile. I had hoped that he would fall asleep, but he was awake, as awake as he could be with all the medication he got that day. Just in that moment, when I wasn´t sure if he was listening to my story or if he was too busy with his own thoughts, he asked: “And what did the little green frog see when he hopped on the garden wall?”
“He saw life, he saw all the colours, he saw that there is something else in the world besides all that green that had surrounded his life until that moment.”
Suddenly I felt a slight touch of his finger on my hand and then heavy spasms shook his body. He pressed my hand hard and I responded to the pressure of his hand. Seconds later it was over.
“Don´t worry, I´m fine“
I wished I could believe him. But the last days were hard on him. He had worked so much and had heavy spasms, which caused him throes. Frank had given him a high dose of medication this evening. The effect was that he had difficulty in breathing regularly and the spasms still weren´t eliminated completely.
“Come on, tell the whole story”
“No, just wait, I´m gonna get something from my room. Be right back in a moment, okay?”
In a second I was out of bed to fetch one of my favourite massage-oils. Maybe the mixture of touching and a calming scent just like neroli could help him to relax. I often work with essential oils, whenever the patients agree to this kind of therapy.
When I came back to Max I let him take a deep breath of the scent.
“Do you like it?”
He nodded.
“Will you allow me to give you a massage, will you allow me to touch you?”
He kept silent, looked at me, nodded.
I lifted his shirt and put a few drops of the oil between my hands. He moaned slightly when I put my hands on his chest carefully.
“Close your eyes, think of something beautiful, relax.“
“Think of somewhat beautiful? Life that´s been discovered by the little green frog when he hopped on the garden wall?” I could hear his smile.
I softly massaged his chest, not exactly knowing how far I could go, what he would feel and what not. As if he could read my mind, he said: “Touch me wherever you want to, I feel almost everything.” That surprised me and yet didn´t. This was exactly the reason for all he had to go through. An incomplete paraplegia. He couldn´t walk anymore but his sensation almost fully remained. On good days he managed to walk a few steps, but mostly he used his wheelchair. And he was really an artist on wheels.
I let my hand move downwards til they reached his bellybutton. I could feel that he began to relax. He breathed easier. He had his eyes closed and I would have liked to know what he was thinking about. Suddenly I felt a touch on my back. It was like an electric shock to me. I felt hot although it just was the easy touch of his hand. His whole hand laid on my back, with light pressure.
I lifted the blanket and he was fully uncovered.
“Is it too cold for you ?”
He shook his head.
I saw his legs, which laid beside me, thin, slightly twisted and, when I touched them, colder than the rest of his body. I felt his look on me, curious how far I would go. His right thigh began to cramp again and I tried to ease his spasm and pain. Carefully I worked on his legs until I reached his feet. I felt that they were completely flaccid.
“I don´t feel anything in my feet.”
“I know,” I said gently.
I took a few more drops of the oil between my hands and let them glide softy up his body. His hand still lay on my back and it felt like it was burning a hole. It felt so hot to me. Not unpleasant but I was surprised that this simple touch had such an effect on me.
Max was feeling better, his spasms were almost gone. When I came across his chest, he took hold of me and suddenly I felt his lips on mine and he kissed me like no man had kissed me before. He looked into my eyes, demanding, amused, I couldn´t interpret the expression in his eyes but he knew that I felt terribly unsure. He lifted his head again to kiss me.
My hands were on his nipples, which I could feel growing harder and harder. I blushed and in daylight Max could have seen a complete blushed face of mine. I felt ashamed in some way, I felt insecure and my hands had done things that my mind would have forbidden them.
“Come on, babe” he said and led my hand downwards. I began to suck his nipples and my hands fondled his chest, each individual rib was noticeable because he was so slender. His hand moved down my spine and I began to shiver. I kissed his chest, his ribs, his bellybutton and as I came across his cock, I noticed that he liked my caress. I was surprised and to be honest, hadn´t expected that.
As he could read my mind, I heard Max's voice saying, “Surprised ?”
“Ummhh, no, yes…but…” I couldn´t say a full sentence because I was much too confused.
“Babe, no need to be embarrassed or unsure. Play with him, he´ll like it.” I hesitated and he gave me time, I saw his knowing smile, his eyes gave me a tender glance and, in retrospect, I had to say, this was the moment I fell completely in love with him.
I noticed that Max tried to raise his hips a bit but failed. He moaned slightly. Suddenly I felt very sad, seeing that he wanted to move but couldn´t. He seemed so vulnerable in this moment, but I was the one with tears in the eyes. Suddenly I felt his hands all over my body, butterflies in my stomach, I desired him so much, wanted to feel him deep inside me.
I felt his legs trembling and wanted to stop immediately but he took my head, his lips were near to mine, we kissed again.
“Try to ignore the spasms,” he whispered, but the sound of his voice had changed. He was in pain and I knew that. I wanted to get out of this situation, I didn´t want him to suffer because of me.
“But it hurts you.”
He shook his head as if he wanted to abandon the pain.
“Not yet babe, come on…just come on.” I felt his hand hard on my butt. My hips were so close to his and I could feel him even deeper inside me.
He had such limited mobility, but he knew about the magic of small gestures and gentle words. And I had learned that he had a good sense of humor, his smile, the big grin on his face, that came through his voice. Max concealed my embarrassment, he took me by the hand and guided me. He knew exactly when I feel unsure, but he was so self-conscious, so strong. I met him two weeks before, when I moved into Dr. Frank Parker's house. Dr. Parker led a programme that dealt with pain-treatment and I started to work as a therapist in this hospital.
I was now near climax, as was Max. His body trembled heavily and I was afraid that I had expected much too much of him but seconds later the shaking was over and he lay there, silent, relaxed, with a slight smile on his face. I stole a glance. His beautiful hazel eyes with unbelievable long lashes were looking at me.
“Babe, stay with me tonight, don´t go,” he whispered and put his arm around my shoulders.
First I could only see dimly because it was dark in his room. Just a small ray of light from the window brightened the room. I closed the door and went to his bed, leaning over him just to arrange his pillow. Casually I touched the skin of his cheek to feel if he had a fever, but his skin felt cool. His breathing was a bit snatchy. Frank Parker had obviously overdosed the medication a bit. Suddenly he whispered: “You smell good.” I had to smile and was happy that he liked my favourite perfume.
He moaned slightly when he tried to sit up and failed. I helped him to sit up and hoped that it would help him breath better.
“Is there anything I can do for you before I go to bed?“ I asked him.
“Just stay here for a little while and tell a poor cripple a nice bed-time-story.” He said this without any cynicism, but his words made me shiver.
I suddenly felt cold in my thin nightshirt. He noticed it and said: “Come on, the bed is big enough for the two of us. And I´m completely harmless.” I could almost hear his big grin. My eyes got used to the darkness and I saw his prominent face, his full lips, the slender body covered by a thin blanket. I hesitated a moment, but he had lifted the blanket and I slipped into his bed. I noticed his scent. Warm and familiar, a bit like sandalwood. Although it was the first time I was aware of his scent, it was so familiar.
“What kind of story do you want to hear?”
“A story from your life.” Again his breathing was snatchy and I began to worry again.
I began to tell him a story that my father had always told me in my childhood. When I took a look at him, I could see him smile. I had hoped that he would fall asleep, but he was awake, as awake as he could be with all the medication he got that day. Just in that moment, when I wasn´t sure if he was listening to my story or if he was too busy with his own thoughts, he asked: “And what did the little green frog see when he hopped on the garden wall?”
“He saw life, he saw all the colours, he saw that there is something else in the world besides all that green that had surrounded his life until that moment.”
Suddenly I felt a slight touch of his finger on my hand and then heavy spasms shook his body. He pressed my hand hard and I responded to the pressure of his hand. Seconds later it was over.
“Don´t worry, I´m fine“
I wished I could believe him. But the last days were hard on him. He had worked so much and had heavy spasms, which caused him throes. Frank had given him a high dose of medication this evening. The effect was that he had difficulty in breathing regularly and the spasms still weren´t eliminated completely.
“Come on, tell the whole story”
“No, just wait, I´m gonna get something from my room. Be right back in a moment, okay?”
In a second I was out of bed to fetch one of my favourite massage-oils. Maybe the mixture of touching and a calming scent just like neroli could help him to relax. I often work with essential oils, whenever the patients agree to this kind of therapy.
When I came back to Max I let him take a deep breath of the scent.
“Do you like it?”
He nodded.
“Will you allow me to give you a massage, will you allow me to touch you?”
He kept silent, looked at me, nodded.
I lifted his shirt and put a few drops of the oil between my hands. He moaned slightly when I put my hands on his chest carefully.
“Close your eyes, think of something beautiful, relax.“
“Think of somewhat beautiful? Life that´s been discovered by the little green frog when he hopped on the garden wall?” I could hear his smile.
I softly massaged his chest, not exactly knowing how far I could go, what he would feel and what not. As if he could read my mind, he said: “Touch me wherever you want to, I feel almost everything.” That surprised me and yet didn´t. This was exactly the reason for all he had to go through. An incomplete paraplegia. He couldn´t walk anymore but his sensation almost fully remained. On good days he managed to walk a few steps, but mostly he used his wheelchair. And he was really an artist on wheels.
I let my hand move downwards til they reached his bellybutton. I could feel that he began to relax. He breathed easier. He had his eyes closed and I would have liked to know what he was thinking about. Suddenly I felt a touch on my back. It was like an electric shock to me. I felt hot although it just was the easy touch of his hand. His whole hand laid on my back, with light pressure.
I lifted the blanket and he was fully uncovered.
“Is it too cold for you ?”
He shook his head.
I saw his legs, which laid beside me, thin, slightly twisted and, when I touched them, colder than the rest of his body. I felt his look on me, curious how far I would go. His right thigh began to cramp again and I tried to ease his spasm and pain. Carefully I worked on his legs until I reached his feet. I felt that they were completely flaccid.
“I don´t feel anything in my feet.”
“I know,” I said gently.
I took a few more drops of the oil between my hands and let them glide softy up his body. His hand still lay on my back and it felt like it was burning a hole. It felt so hot to me. Not unpleasant but I was surprised that this simple touch had such an effect on me.
Max was feeling better, his spasms were almost gone. When I came across his chest, he took hold of me and suddenly I felt his lips on mine and he kissed me like no man had kissed me before. He looked into my eyes, demanding, amused, I couldn´t interpret the expression in his eyes but he knew that I felt terribly unsure. He lifted his head again to kiss me.
My hands were on his nipples, which I could feel growing harder and harder. I blushed and in daylight Max could have seen a complete blushed face of mine. I felt ashamed in some way, I felt insecure and my hands had done things that my mind would have forbidden them.
“Come on, babe” he said and led my hand downwards. I began to suck his nipples and my hands fondled his chest, each individual rib was noticeable because he was so slender. His hand moved down my spine and I began to shiver. I kissed his chest, his ribs, his bellybutton and as I came across his cock, I noticed that he liked my caress. I was surprised and to be honest, hadn´t expected that.
As he could read my mind, I heard Max's voice saying, “Surprised ?”
“Ummhh, no, yes…but…” I couldn´t say a full sentence because I was much too confused.
“Babe, no need to be embarrassed or unsure. Play with him, he´ll like it.” I hesitated and he gave me time, I saw his knowing smile, his eyes gave me a tender glance and, in retrospect, I had to say, this was the moment I fell completely in love with him.
I noticed that Max tried to raise his hips a bit but failed. He moaned slightly. Suddenly I felt very sad, seeing that he wanted to move but couldn´t. He seemed so vulnerable in this moment, but I was the one with tears in the eyes. Suddenly I felt his hands all over my body, butterflies in my stomach, I desired him so much, wanted to feel him deep inside me.
I felt his legs trembling and wanted to stop immediately but he took my head, his lips were near to mine, we kissed again.
“Try to ignore the spasms,” he whispered, but the sound of his voice had changed. He was in pain and I knew that. I wanted to get out of this situation, I didn´t want him to suffer because of me.
“But it hurts you.”
He shook his head as if he wanted to abandon the pain.
“Not yet babe, come on…just come on.” I felt his hand hard on my butt. My hips were so close to his and I could feel him even deeper inside me.
He had such limited mobility, but he knew about the magic of small gestures and gentle words. And I had learned that he had a good sense of humor, his smile, the big grin on his face, that came through his voice. Max concealed my embarrassment, he took me by the hand and guided me. He knew exactly when I feel unsure, but he was so self-conscious, so strong. I met him two weeks before, when I moved into Dr. Frank Parker's house. Dr. Parker led a programme that dealt with pain-treatment and I started to work as a therapist in this hospital.
I was now near climax, as was Max. His body trembled heavily and I was afraid that I had expected much too much of him but seconds later the shaking was over and he lay there, silent, relaxed, with a slight smile on his face. I stole a glance. His beautiful hazel eyes with unbelievable long lashes were looking at me.
“Babe, stay with me tonight, don´t go,” he whispered and put his arm around my shoulders.
Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
