corbin03
Junior Member
Posts: 68
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by corbin03 on Sept 7, 2012 17:04:23 GMT -5
Corbin here! I am a 21 year old gay male from Wisconsin living with Duchenne muscular dystrophy. I rely on an electric wheelchair for mobility and have recently started to need more support with breathing. For the last year I've been trying to find myself a romantic partner using mostly online dating websites, but thus far nothing has come my way. Sure I have made lots of friends through these sites, however, that is not my objective. I'm afraid I will be forever designated as the “friend.” I haven't given up just yet though. All good things come to those who wait.
About a month or so I came across an article about devotees and was very intrigued so I thought I would check out the community. I know a lot of stuff out there paints devotees negatively, but I don't see it that way. I look forward to getting know everybody.
Here's a little bit more about me: I have both extroverted and introverted qualities. While I love making conversation, meeting new people and having a good time, I also enjoy more low-key activities. I love staying up late reading a book, listening to music, “walking” around outside or having drinks.
I see the glass as being half full and prefer the company of other optimists. I'm also a creative type who enjoys music, literature and visual art. Ask me about my favorites! Photography used to be my thing, but writing is my medium of choice lately.
I am easy to get along with and very genuine. My friends say I am an old–soul (I prefer nostalgic), which might be because I drink gin, watch black-and-white movies, read classic literature and listen to really old music.
I enjoy listening to music, shopping at record stores, writing, going to concerts, reading, socializing with friends, going to local coffee shops—I am a Starbucks junkie!—and bars, discussing politics, art exhibits, playing boardgames, wine tastings and watching basketball.
Music is a huge part of my life, without it I couldn't function very well. My taste in music is eclectic; everything from indie, blues, folk, classic rock, electronic, classical (Chopin), french (Edith Piaf) to jazz music. My favorite musicians are always changing, every month they are completely different. Ask me about my favorites!
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Post by BA on Sept 7, 2012 17:12:59 GMT -5
Welcome! That was a lovely intro. I feel like you really drew a pic of yourself with words.
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Jack
New Member
Bi, Amp Dev.
Posts: 23
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Post by Jack on Sept 7, 2012 17:32:09 GMT -5
Hi. I'm Jack, 22, Bi and far far away from WI and in a "it's complicated" relationship with someone i m currently quite in love with. but, as a long time member in the LGBT community, and even longer time a Dev (for amps) i would really like to talk with you. please PM me with a way to contact you so we can chat. though i'm not near you, i can speak english quite well (better than i write i think), and would love to skype with you. oh, and what do you think about... TMBG?
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Post by lavly on Sept 7, 2012 17:41:43 GMT -5
welcome
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Post by Ximena on Sept 7, 2012 17:50:29 GMT -5
Welcome! Another MD guy and another writer! What type of things do you write, Corbin?
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corbin03
Junior Member
Posts: 68
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by corbin03 on Sept 7, 2012 17:56:05 GMT -5
oh, and what do you think about... TMBG? I assume you are referring to They Might Be Giants… I've heard of them but I haven't listened to any of their stuff. I will check it out.
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corbin03
Junior Member
Posts: 68
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by corbin03 on Sept 7, 2012 18:01:10 GMT -5
Welcome! Another MD guy and another writer! What type of things do you write, Corbin? I enjoy writing mostly non–fiction, editorials related to disability issues, and personal reflective type stories. Lately I've been trying to write music reviews, which is a lot harder than you might think. You can read some of the stories here: shortbusstories.tumblr.com
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8mph
Junior Member
I'm around. Send a message my way.
Posts: 92
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by 8mph on Sept 22, 2012 0:25:47 GMT -5
I found the same vibe about devotees also. I'm still hesitant to really venture out there.
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devine
Full Member
Posts: 121
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
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Post by devine on Sept 22, 2012 5:29:09 GMT -5
Lovely intro. You like Edith Piaf? Check out Zaz. Word on the streets, she's the new Edith Piaf.
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Post by BA on Sept 23, 2012 14:03:26 GMT -5
oh, and what do you think about... TMBG? I assume you are referring to They Might Be Giants… I've heard of them but I haven't listened to any of their stuff. I will check it out. I love them guys! When I was a dj on college radio (heh heh 1980s), I used to give their first album a ton of airplay. I ended up interviewing them and they drew all over my album cover and made little commentary notes on it. I still have it. As far as the hesitancy about devs based on what others in the disability community say, you have to have your own personal experiences and not base them on hearsay. If someone asks right off for pics of your feet or only wants to discuss your disability, I'd beat it the hell out of there. Those aren't people who are interested in YOU. There are devotees from every walk of life and like anyone else out there in cyber (and real) world, you have to weed out. However, there are some amazing, amazing people out there as well who are genuinely admiring of your uniqueness but most importantly want to know you as a whole person. This board is full of people like that.
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corbin03
Junior Member
Posts: 68
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by corbin03 on Oct 1, 2012 18:10:30 GMT -5
Awhile back I was constantly preoccupied with what other people would think of my disability, specifically when trying to navigate the wonderful world of online dating. I couldn't get past the fact that some people were going to automatically rule me out as a potential candidate once they learned I was disabled. Soon this became the expectation of everyone who visited my page. I resented the whole experience.
What I came to realize is, those people were always going to around. There was no way around it. In my attempt to find somebody, my bitterness and resentment were actually preventing me from meeting people that couldn’t care less about my disability. If I was going to let somebody into my life, I had to substitute my preconceived notions about what others thought of me with an increased confidence level and acceptance of my shortcomings.
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Post by Max on Oct 2, 2012 2:36:49 GMT -5
It's only a few lines of text, but it is quite the change. When and how did this happen?
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corbin03
Junior Member
Posts: 68
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by corbin03 on Oct 2, 2012 13:17:47 GMT -5
This was a realization I made about 2 months ago after having a rather lively discussion with some of my friends one night about relationships. After listening to their past relationship issues, it occurred to me that most of their problems were the result of inward insecurities that only became present later on in the relationship. I realized, however strange this must sound, that the outward shortcomings of my disability actually gave me an advantage over my peers. People would immediately decide for themselves whether they could handle my situation. I would avoid having to invest time into relationships that would later be broken up by a partner's ignorance about certain aspects of my life.
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Post by BA on Oct 2, 2012 13:41:48 GMT -5
That's a pretty cool way to think about it, Corbin. Disability providing a 'screening process'.
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Post by Max on Oct 2, 2012 14:02:23 GMT -5
It actually makes a lot of sense. But in a way, isn't that 'screening' always present? People who were not ready to handle someone with a disability would not stay in touch for long, ergo the people you do befriend are okay with it. Or is that the exact thing you didn't realise until later on?
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